Missing love.

[lebRambo]

hey guys.

I think i've stumbled upon an unexpected and thoroughly unpleasant side affect of the game.

When one devotes himself enough to the goal of being a Don Juan, a large part of this is necessarily the pursuit of p*ssy. Everywhere you go, you begin to size up the world differently, look at everything differently. You reject ideas and philosophies which your previous self would have embraced, while whole-heartedly accepting others at which you would have been disgusted in your AFC days.

I guess this all came to me when I was listening to a rather innocuous song by Hideki Naganuma, named "The Concept of Love". The only words in this song are 'Understand...the concept of love'.

Lame as it was, I thought about this. Does the transformation from a normal, quiet, unassuming guy into a DJ (the epitome of man, masculine incarnate) imply the rejection of the 'concept of love'?

Does anyone here remember the last time they were in love? Can anyone even tell when they are in love anymore? I am doubting whether I can, and it terrifies me. If you can't tell whether you are in love or not, does that not mean that part of your humanity is no longer there?

 

[brenbaus]

See Alphatree's post on seeing women as human beings, very insightful

 

[tobby]

The idea of "love" is too fantastic. "Love's one of the problems that creates all these so called AFC's in the first place. You can't go about life thinking there's one person for you, one job for you, and all that BS. This may not be the best analogy, but life's kind of like the college process. You try a few things here and there and eventually you'll find one that works out for you.

 

[Alphathree]

Go see the movie Wedding Crashers. It's crazy slapstick comedy, but it has a lot to say on the subject of pick-up versus love.

 

[Alphathree]

To actually reply to your post, I think the problem with being "in love" is that you will tend to "forgive" her for a lot of things.

But remember even if she's in love, she's still going to TEST you.

You forgive her tests, and you're no longer a man, no matter how much you love her.

You MUST still lead and set limits in her reality. Do that, and be madly in love all you want.

 

[CLOONEY]

Being a "DJ" doesnt mean you cant fall in love, you are obviously very confused and only in time you will sort your head out.

I personally spent about 2 years seriously (as in learning everything I could, improving myself as far as I could, and going out "sarging" at least a couple of times a week) chasing the puzz, loved it, but then fell in love for the first time. Spent a year in that relationship, it ended, then went on about chasing the puzz. That went on for over another year and I got sick of it. I then met a girl I really liked, had a relationship with her for about 6 months, but never fell in love with her. When you are in love, you will know, because when you have arguements and are unsure of your future with her, it will eat you up from the inside out. And you will also want to be with her as much as you can (this you have to control and keep a healty balance of). Broke up with the 6 month girl and then was single for about a couple more months before I fell in love once more. I then dated that girl for a couple of months, and have been with her now for 3 months seriously.

You will know when you are in love, trust me! That said, being in love to me is just infatuation, you also have to grow to love the person and accept them for their entirity (they have to do the same), accept the things you dont like about them, and love the things you do! If you can do this, and have that initial "in love stage", you are heading for a very healthy relationship IMHO.

 

[CLOONEY]

Hope that wasnt too much of a rant and is somewhat understandable.

 

[Climax]

A tip...

I suggest you guys all see the movie called "Don Juan De Marco" ... I assure you that after seeing that film you will have a better understanding of what a true Don Juan acts and thinks like, especially when it comes to the subject of love.


Laterz...

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by CLOONEY
Being a "DJ" doesnt mean you cant fall in love, you are obviously very confused and only in time you will sort your head out.

I personally spent about 2 years seriously (as in learning everything I could, improving myself as far as I could, and going out "sarging" at least a couple of times a week) chasing the puzz, loved it, but then fell in love for the first time. Spent a year in that relationship, it ended, then went on about chasing the puzz. That went on for over another year and I got sick of it. I then met a girl I really liked, had a relationship with her for about 6 months, but never fell in love with her. When you are in love, you will know, because when you have arguements and are unsure of your future with her, it will eat you up from the inside out. And you will also want to be with her as much as you can (this you have to control and keep a healty balance of). Broke up with the 6 month girl and then was single for about a couple more months before I fell in love once more. I then dated that girl for a couple of months, and have been with her now for 3 months seriously.

You will know when you are in love, trust me! That said, being in love to me is just infatuation, you also have to grow to love the person and accept them for their entirity (they have to do the same), accept the things you dont like about them, and love the things you do! If you can do this, and have that initial "in love stage", you are heading for a very healthy relationship IMHO.

Interesting post. It's true... the key is to control the healthy dosages of 'seeing her' even if you're in love.

And to know the difference between a **** test and accepting her 'differences'.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

might I add that many guys tend to mistake infatuation with real love.

Infatuation, in it's purest form, to me is seeing only the good in someone and filtering out the bad... it's like your brain won't even recognize her faults.

Looking back on my past, where i thought i was in love... I realised i was just infatuated and really only wanted to sleep with her. I'd only see the good and take all the crap like the wuss that I was, at the time.

True love is where you can love her faults as well as the good stuff on the deepest level... I don't mean just putting up with her sh!t, either. i mean to be able to truly embrace it, and her, in her entirety. When you can find that, and her give the same in return... you'll know it's real love.

This doesn't happen everyday.