"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Middle aged, divorce x2, learning from my mistakes: my story

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
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Location
Houston, TX
After MtnMan de-lurked I thought I should do the same. I am a 43yo DWM who divorced last year. I have been lurking around here, reading the bible and pook and learning a lot.

My story is this: after D1 I dated only a short time then ended up with W2. She was HB8, sweet, took good care of me, made me very comfortable. Oh and awesome in bed and fun to drink with. She drove my kids around when I was out of town working. All good stuff.

So I started feeling good about things and got a little lazy. Or a lot lazy. I let her "take care of" more and more while I got fat. Pretty soon she lost respect and thought she was in charge so we started to argue about money (she was spending mine), kids (she was telling me how to raise mine), her job (I bought her a business and she ran it into the ground).

After 6yrs of marriage I had enough and told her NEXT!!! Cost me some cash but I knew I had fcked up letting myself go physically and doing the "what's mine is yours" thing and there was no coming back from it.

Fortunately, I don't lack confidence so it was no ego blow, but I knew I had some work to do. I have now lost 40lbs and am exercising regularly but still need to lose about 25 more. I have lot's of hobbies (play guitar, ride a MC, hunt, etc) but have decided I want chicks back in my social circle so I have been getting out there a bit (more on that in another post).

I have been reading here and soaking it all in, and decided to spin plates in 2014. I have been messing around on POF and it's going pretty good, but I am naturally a "nice guy" so I know I'll need to make sure I keep my boundaries and I am sure I'll have lot's of questions and need advice as I get them all going. I have plenty of dough so I worry a lot about leaches and I still have a daughter at home so I don't want any drama.

See you in the game,

Mark (MOTU = M@ster of the Un!verse)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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