met awesome girl with boyfriend - not your average AFC tale

[Tom Stall]

I'm living in a shared ammodation away from home with other people doing my course. Theres about 20 people here.

I recently just met a nice girl from the year level below me. She is quite attractive, tall, smart, funny, and we get along real great. She laughs at all my stupid jokes and everything.

We all just only moved in and only known each other for 5 days. So we always meet same time to have dinner and watch our favourite show together, and on the night before we leave to go home (we all live 1 hr away), me and her shared a bottle of wine together (my treat) and she got no work done and stayed with me for 5 hours before bed. We were joking, laughing, getting along, getting to know each other.

heres the rub. She has a boyfriend. and i didn't know that at the start, but i was thinking a girl this great must have one. And. i have a girlfriend, whom which i'm not sure i want to be with anymore anyway. So she mentioned in passing about her boyfriend (thats how my bf opens the bottle), and i thought it would be a good idea to mention in passing about mine (thats the year i met my gf). She didn't ask me about my gf and i didn't ask her about her bf.

I did the whole kino, c+f, but mostly being myself. When i moved her form the big common room to a smaller private common room, she came, when i told her to come sit next to me on the couch she came. But was still at a distance. But she got a bit tired towards the end, and would lay her head on the couch and kinda of look up with me, sorta tileted towards me. Good body language i read it as

and before we departed i rubbed her arm and said good night, she turned around and gave me a look. Just that look, hard to describe.

Long as post, good to get off my chest. I'm getting a little infatuated with her, and i sometimes see her looking at me, and she doesn't seem uncomfortable when she catches me looking at her.

So question, do i have a shot? She's a very nice, lovely, girl, we were making dirty jokes playing Taboo in a group and she said she often doesn't do dirty. Maybe she has a hard time saying no, or maybe she kind of interested.

Im thinking at this point, that i have no shot. And if i were going to leave my gf for this girl, it has to be something real. So i'm not going to 'trick' her or 'play' her into liking me, i'm going to be mostly myself.

but i'm sort of hung up on her at the moment

we have a dorm party this thursday, which i'm looking forward too. i dont want to be the person following her around always suggesting things to her, my plan was to sort of ignore her a little and let her come to me. my life doesn't revolve around her anyhows

thoughts? advice?

cheers fellas

 

[S. Pryor]

You don't want to "trick" her or "play" her but you're prone to tricking and getting played by her. Seriously? You're treating her to wine?????? What has she done for you beside stroke your ego and apparently nothing else. She has a boyfriend and you're wining and dining her. That's againgst the rules playboy to wine and dine the next mans chick. You "do what you have to do" and split. If she's as into you as you believe then tell her when she's not with her boyfriend then come check you out. You could always speed it up by doing a BF destroyer or ask her to hook you up with her friends. It also sounds like you're getting too emotional involved with her too quick. Don't let yourself fall into that trap. No brown-nosing.

 

[Ease]

You were going good untill you said 'i dont want to trick her or play her to like me'

Life is a game. Play or get played. Stop asking your granny for advice on girls. 'Be yourself' is just some wussy nonsense AFC's and women feed to fellow AFC's. Rule number 1, dont listen to women for advice. Fake it till you make it is much better advice when it comes to girls.

On topic, yes sounds lovely but you need to make the ho say no on this one and go in for the kill, otherwise you're going to get even more infatuated while you sink deeper and deeper into friendzone territory.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Me and her shared a bottle of wine together (my treat) and she got no work done and stayed with me for 5 hours before bed. We were joking, laughing, getting along, getting to know each other.

5 hours? you guys certainly were joking....

heres the rub. She has a boyfriend. and i didn't know that at the start, but i was thinking a girl this great must have one.

here's the rub of the rub.... her having a boyfriend - will work in your favor. women who have boyfriends are a lot more likely to give leeway to weak action. weak action? yes, 5 hours of inactivity in a sexual nature would have most guys in the friendzone. however, over the years - i myself have take my time a little more with "taken" women, and they expect it in a way. if she came over and within 10 minutes you were trying to make out with her - you would have had very little chance. Rapport and tension needs to build... it needs to get to a point where you both "have no choice" but to act on your desires.... .... however, during this "rapport" building - things need to be done. Things besides laughing, drinking, watching tv, etc..... words of sexual nature, and touching that sends rushes through her body (im not talking simple kino)..... stuff.... you didn't do...

When i moved her form the big common room to a smaller private common room, she came, when i told her to come sit next to me on the couch she came. But was still at a distance.

you should have closed that distance.

"no, not close enough" and then pull her in.

or

"come here" while pulling her in - you might get token resistance but keep going .... then.... do something that feels good to her... you talked about stroking her arm before she left.... you should have done this while she was on the couch... it's hard to say no to something that feels good... if you weren't comfortable touching her - it's not that hard to get her to touch you... just ask... say "do something for me." when she says "what?" say "rub my arm for me, my ex used to do that when we were watching tv".... she should start doing it.... then the nature of the mind is such that you touching her or her touching you - opens the gate.... while she's rubbing you - you can then rub her....

unless she's a straight up hor.... things need to progress like this when she's "taken"... she wants a reason to cheat and to touch, you just have to provide it for her...

things progress very fast once the first barrier comes down (and my advice is once that barrier comes down - get it before her conscious sets in)

So question, do i have a shot?

yes, but you need to find out just how much of a shot you have. Laying around with each other for 5 hours without any sexual attempts - is not going to give you a shot.

And if i were going to leave my gf for this girl, it has to be something real. So i'm not going to 'trick' her or 'play' her into liking me, i'm going to be mostly myself.

why the fvck would you leave your girlfriend for someone who cheats on her boyfriend? im the devil himself when it comes to this stuff - - - and i would never leave a woman i was with for a woman who was with someone else and still with me.

there's no tricks here buddy.... you're a man... therefore a sexual person...
laying around for 5 hours without being bold enough to act on your sexual instinct - is a bigger game/trick than any PUA has ever written down.

non-acting on sexual desire is deception... of yourself... and your target.

 

[Tom Stall]

Thanks for imput fellas

Yeah, i have thought, why would i leave my girl for somebody who cheats on their bf

I'm with bukowski_merit in that taken girls need a bit more rapport building. which is what i was doing last week. now is a new week

i'm going to start the PUA stuff then. i'm not uncomfortable with touching her, i just dont want to be known as the creep/sleaze with a gf, to the rest of my colleagues

she has been talking about me to her friends, as some of them come up to me and ask me about things that i told her "oh you used to ...etc."

i think it's a good sign she doens't ask aobut my girlfriend, because if she were just doing general chit chat, small talk with a friendzone person, she probalby would ask a bit more (like everybody does)

i'll get her to come into my room, and i'll find an escuse sometime to go into hers. getting her to stay and finding escuses to stay might be harder. maybe, wanna study together.... hrm... yeah, i have some recourses(books) (i'm a year above) that would do the trick

theres a party this thursday, and not many people here are big drinkers, just me, her and a few others, so going to see how i go with that

but something needs to happen this week or the next week, because after that i'll be away for three weeks, and that will give her time to miss me, or give time for her concience to kick in

well, i'm not getting the same infatuation feeling i used to, which is good, shes just another target for me now really. i've done this before, but never with a girl with a bf. should be interesting

any more tips welcome

cheers fellas