First off, I've lurked on this forum for a good 4 years... never really thought of asking a question, but I have given up on asking advice in other forums because people just don't take this stuff seriously. This site is a great resource and I've gained a lot of useful knowledge over the years. Cheers to those of you that put in the effort.
A little backstory to me, I have only had one serious girlfriend and a few love interests and dates over the years... lost my virginity at 18 to this girl whom I loved and she trampled me about 8 months later and hooked up with another guy 3 weeks later. So... anyway, I have not gotten laid in 9 years. I am not good at aproaching women, but my taste in women basically weeds out 95% of them right of the top... and I don't do the bar or club scene, nor do I really want the caliber of woman who does. So, I usually meet women through either friends and family or when I was going, at school in classes. I don't persue particularly fit or attractive women by most people's standards... 6's or 7's and nobody too heavy... the thing is I am a personality perfectionist and it has saved me a lot of greif over the years. As long as she's not repulsive, her personality is all that matters to me. Still, in my day I've probably found a dozen women that were a good fit to my standard and either done nothing and became a friend or found out they actually were crazy and GTFO of there.
Anyway, feeble excuses aside, I am quite confident around people and have no problem finding friends, I just usually don't end up taking the first step with women and all that happens is I extend my social network. So back to the actual question... My mom has been pushing for me to meet of her intern for several months and she finally made it happen with a small party at her house yesterday. The girl is nice, fairly cute and has a great personality. We all exchanged some stories and had some laughs and played some cards... typical group activities. None of us got into any one on one conversations, but I cracked a few observations that made her laugh pretty good and she seemed quite comfortable after the initial introductions... She herself is shy, but seems to open up once she is comfortable... kind of a mirror of me. So, I'm sure I'm on decent footing right now... The only questions are, how do I contact her and when do I contact her? One problem is that I'm 3 hours away, but will be moving back into the area this summer. I go out there maybe every other week or 3, and I have no qualms about driving distances. So, at my disposal, I currently have her work number because it is my mom's work number, and I have met her in person and got to see a little about who she is, and vice versa. I do have to be careful not to cause any damage with whatever I do, and I don't do short term... I'm in this for the entire course of the relationship, whatever that may be. I am dead set on persuing this, so the only advice I'm not gonna listen to is not to do it... otherwise my ears are open.
My thoughts are, call her up in a day or two at work and tell her I enjoyed meeting her and will be back in town in a couple weeks and would like to take her out for coffee or lunch... and get her personal number and a good time to call her closer to that date. Other than that I'm drawing a blank. I don't think I should wait a week though because that may just send a signal I'm not interested or someone's putting me up to it. Or am I already out of the running because I didn't make an effort to extract her from the group and get her digits right then and there? She is single for the forseeable future... so no real danger in losing out to another guy.
TIA
A little backstory to me, I have only had one serious girlfriend and a few love interests and dates over the years... lost my virginity at 18 to this girl whom I loved and she trampled me about 8 months later and hooked up with another guy 3 weeks later. So... anyway, I have not gotten laid in 9 years. I am not good at aproaching women, but my taste in women basically weeds out 95% of them right of the top... and I don't do the bar or club scene, nor do I really want the caliber of woman who does. So, I usually meet women through either friends and family or when I was going, at school in classes. I don't persue particularly fit or attractive women by most people's standards... 6's or 7's and nobody too heavy... the thing is I am a personality perfectionist and it has saved me a lot of greif over the years. As long as she's not repulsive, her personality is all that matters to me. Still, in my day I've probably found a dozen women that were a good fit to my standard and either done nothing and became a friend or found out they actually were crazy and GTFO of there.
Anyway, feeble excuses aside, I am quite confident around people and have no problem finding friends, I just usually don't end up taking the first step with women and all that happens is I extend my social network. So back to the actual question... My mom has been pushing for me to meet of her intern for several months and she finally made it happen with a small party at her house yesterday. The girl is nice, fairly cute and has a great personality. We all exchanged some stories and had some laughs and played some cards... typical group activities. None of us got into any one on one conversations, but I cracked a few observations that made her laugh pretty good and she seemed quite comfortable after the initial introductions... She herself is shy, but seems to open up once she is comfortable... kind of a mirror of me. So, I'm sure I'm on decent footing right now... The only questions are, how do I contact her and when do I contact her? One problem is that I'm 3 hours away, but will be moving back into the area this summer. I go out there maybe every other week or 3, and I have no qualms about driving distances. So, at my disposal, I currently have her work number because it is my mom's work number, and I have met her in person and got to see a little about who she is, and vice versa. I do have to be careful not to cause any damage with whatever I do, and I don't do short term... I'm in this for the entire course of the relationship, whatever that may be. I am dead set on persuing this, so the only advice I'm not gonna listen to is not to do it... otherwise my ears are open.
My thoughts are, call her up in a day or two at work and tell her I enjoyed meeting her and will be back in town in a couple weeks and would like to take her out for coffee or lunch... and get her personal number and a good time to call her closer to that date. Other than that I'm drawing a blank. I don't think I should wait a week though because that may just send a signal I'm not interested or someone's putting me up to it. Or am I already out of the running because I didn't make an effort to extract her from the group and get her digits right then and there? She is single for the forseeable future... so no real danger in losing out to another guy.
TIA
It was probably the former lol.