met a gal -she says we just freinds-i thought it was a date

[joe45]

well here how the story goes met a girl at the library -pretty much a random pickup saw her thought she was cute and got her number. funny thing is i gotten her number in like less than 2 minutes and she gave it to me without asking. she did say she was new to canada, and wanted to make new friends and wanted me to introduce my freinds to her-i said ok.

signs she was intersted was she asked for my age, i am 26 her 24, she even insisted that we go out for coffee sometime-this after we didn;t even chat for so long in the less than 2 min chat.

be it we hung out or went out 3 x's -starbucks and just chit chatted and gotten to now each other. her job , my job hobbies , life ,...etc
well today i tried holding her hand while walking -she resisted, later on put my arm on her shoulder while walking-samething she resisted. yea bad signals hey

i was kinda of wonderin what are we-since she resisted holding hands-hey that was guys/gals do on dates.

with that sign i asked her while sitting down on the bench about what she looks for in a guy , and what we are doing -hanging out, dating or what. she said we are just goin out as friends, hmm i was thinking in my mind since we are both single that we were goin out as a date. i didn;t approach a random girl just to be friends with her-i wanted a girl to date and possible gf. i been single my whole darn yes ok 26 years -embarassing yes. she said she goes out with guys too one on one but as freinds. i said ok but i didn't go up to u in search for freinds , i wanted a date and possible gf and why not me. she says that in her culture its like they be freinds first and then in a year if she realli likes the guy she and him become bf/gf. i'm like woow thats is too long to wait.

good thing with this girl is when we went to starbucks even when i inisisted on paying she resisted.

how can i avoid the just going as friends and more as dating when we go out.i don;t want a repeat of this again. i think its clear when a guy ask for ur number, are u single , and then ask to go out for coffee-its clear its a date

 

[Docs]

Where is this chick from? :crackup:

Run her from a different approach. Interest is still interest, so if she's giving you that...you have to ask her something like this:

Do you think I'm hot (or scale it)
Do you think I'm nice/awesome/cool
Do you realize you're in Canada?
And finally, if she's given solid answers, kiss me biatch!

 

[SmokeX]

Ummm **** you have yourself a good deal. One way to work around it, is to constently han gout with her, or doa whole... once or twice a week, w/e C&F Ruotine, ****in keep showing her you are interest, and then just start to ditch her, it takes alittle while, but it should work

Explination - Hang out alot, and then for a few days straight (or the days you are supposed to hang out) Tell her you are sick, or something stupid. I don't care anything, and soon she will realize that she misses you and blah blah blah all the mushy stuff invite her over, and **** her brains out if signals are there.

Smoke

 

[Dannyrt34]

Just relax

If you're going out 'just as friends' then she won't mind you looking for a new girl.

Keep in mind, you have to filter through ALOT of women to find a girlfriend.

 

[Obsidian]

It was dumb to *ask* her explicitly whether or not it was a date. You need to just read those things. And if she thinks of you as a "friend," then make her more interested in you and -- wa la -- it's a date.

As far as friendship goes, I really like the line, "No thanks, I've already got plenty of friends" (and then walk away). Not everyone likes to be that aggressive, tho.

 

[kreuz]

To avoid being LJBF'ed try taking a step back from the situation. First you are showing too much interest in someone who is only looking to be friends, furthermore you are pushing your desires onto her. What you need to do is become busy, and cool the contact with her for awhile. You have basically sunk yourself in a hole because you ruined your exam.

She went out with you for coffee to see how you acted, if you were desperate (which you clearly shown), and if you are overly needy. You have basically failed the first test most girls give to guys to see if they even want to hang out with you again.

Learn from your experience and move on, next time when a girl wants to go out as "just friends" go out as that, and do not pressure her or be too interested in her as you will scare her away. (Girls are like wild animals: if you approach them too aggressively they will run and hide, if you go at it too slow they will lose interest in you and walk away, if you go with just the right mix their legs tell them to run but their curiosity keeps them glued to your every movement.)

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Where is she from? The advice here is generally geared towards a western philosophy. I've known girls from out of the continent and the game really changes in some cultures. Yeah girls are still girls, but you can't ignore social conditioning....look at how feminism changed the way you have to deal with women in NA these days.

 

[Raikojo17]

(Girls are like wild animals: if you approach them too aggressively they will run and hide, if you go at it too slow they will lose interest in you and walk away, if you go with just the right mix their legs tell them to run but their curiosity keeps them glued to your every movement.)

one of the best damn metaphors i have ever read on this site. sums it up perfectly

 

[wayword]

Comfort & rapport but no attraction = LJBF.


So, just use her as a pawn and hit on other girls the next time you're with her.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Comfort & rapport but no attraction = LJBF.

Bingo!

 

[Obsidian]

I'm not sure I like your advice, kreuz. You're saying that he should actually hang out with her as a friend. Unless he wants her as a pivot like wayword suggested, he needs to just next her.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

It was dumb to *ask* her explicitly whether or not it was a date. You need to just read those things. And if she thinks of you as a "friend," then make her more interested in you and -- wa la -- it's a date.

As far as friendship goes, I really like the line, "No thanks, I've already got plenty of friends" (and then walk away). Not everyone likes to be that aggressive, tho.

Exactly correct. Stop asking where you stand, if she likes you, etc.

The thing to do now is go along with her, as "friends", that means the pressure to impress her is gone, and now you can be your usual fun self. You also imply or make sure she "finds out" you are pursuing other women.

Anytime she does, says, acts, or asks things that could slightly be misinterpreted as being interested in you, you tease her and call her on it, in a fun way, and make her "earn" your approval.

 

[kreuz]

I'm not sure I like your advice, kreuz. You're saying that he should actually hang out with her as a friend. Unless he wants her as a pivot like wayword suggested, he needs to just next her.

Going out for coffee does not mean you have to be friends, just means you are going out for coffee in a friendly manner, like saying hello to a stranger. Plus the situation I presented is primarily for someone to go out and talk with someone, much like you talk to one of your male friends. Being a DJ does not mean you cannot have friendly relations with women, it just means you are in control of the situation and have a higher self-esteem then the other bums in the world.

On another note, I was clarifying what she wanted from the meeting, and explained how he should have acted. In order to learn from experience, you actually have to experience something.