Men, not women, make AFCs

[backbreaker]

Today I had a mini Epiphany


I was at the gym playing basketball / swimming. So I'm sitting there doing my little basketball routine. I have a routine where I make 50 free throws / 25 spot up jumpers / 25 running jumpers / 25 threes in 45 minutes. Great Cardio and this is how I was trained to learn how to shoot by my father, becuase sitting there taking your time shooting shots all day doesn't prepare you to learn how to play in a pick up game when you are playing all day and you are tired. More on this later, i'm going somewhere with this I'm not just rambling.

anyway, so i'm doing my thing and there is this guy there he was probably my age and he had a little kid. kid could not have been 6-7 years old. and the kid is trying to learn how to play basketball. and I'm not exaggerating when I am saying, the kid was probably better than the father. my goodness dude ought to be ashamed of himself. throwing the ball over the goal, using girl like form on his shot, you can tell an athlete this guy was not. I actually kinda felt bad for the kid, this dude isn't going to show this kid anything he needs to know.


My point is not that Alpha males have perfect jump shots lol. But i was thinking... I don't think I really understood just how big of an influence a father is on his son's personality makeup until now / until I had my own son, who is about the same age as this kid, though he was not with me.

My dad, not a perfect father, a serial cheater, but the man knew his sports. He played college basketball for a bit. He's an athlete. I had one of those dads that would sit out side and make me work on my form on my jump shot and show me how to play defense without crossing my feet and how to dribble with my head up and not looking down at teh ball and how to swipe up at the ball not down and how to look at a man's wasit and not the ball and how to aim for the back of the rim when you shoot, all the little ****. he taught me how to run towarda the baseball when you are fielding it and how to square up and throw the ball and how to throw a curve ball and how to throw a change up, and how to play catcher and not miss the ball when the batter swings.

and this **** may seem trivial but it was because of my dad that I always, even now played sports. all in high school, all in jr high i was an athlete. I wasn't a GREAT basketball player by any means but i played and i contributed and because of it i was pretty popular and i got dates. I knew all the basketball players around the city and we all were cool and we all hung out all the time at bowling allies and skating rinks and **** and I got to hang with the in crowd and being in the in crowd got me laid lol.

make no mistake, i had issues when it came to women,t hat steemed from my mother but I had a lot of experience with them because of being popular and in shape. My dad is also big on style,w hic his why today I'm always very well dressed i love to dress, got that from daddy. So even though I had co dependency issues with women, which is really what it was, i thought i needed a woman to be complete and my neediness ran them off, i had a lot of experience with them, experience that i would not have had if i weren't running with the in crowds.

it also kept me in shape. I have a life long record of seeing how women react to a guy who is in shape so I stay in shape.


take that against a guy whose father just isn't around or the father is just a nerd and can't offer his son jack siht for advice in game, or sports or how to dress in a manner which attracts women. That kid tries out for the Jr high basketball team and doesn't make it and gets cut. he plays baseball and gets stuck in right field or the bench lol. he sucks basically. he develops low self esteem. women don't like him and he sees all of his cool friends getting dates and girlfriends and he sucks so he doesn't get the attention his friends get.


It all starts from daddy. there are a lot of ways a man can go, up or down, but but it all starts with daddy. My son is too small to shoot yet but i've been working with him on playing baseball/ soft ball showing him how to catch and field a ground ball and how to hit off a tee and stuff.

 

[sharkbeat]

Spot on. Like father like son.

I myself had to put cognitive efforts to remove all negative habits that I inherited from my dad. and in order to do that, i must first recognize what they are, admit it, then put some efforts to change.

one of the reasons why I havent been married or have kids now. most of my friends already have kids. i want to learn as much as i can about life before starting to have kids.

A lot of people dont realize this. So AFC habits continue on..

 

[zekko]

Good point. Of course, none of us can choose who we have for fathers.
Atom Smasher is another one who often talks about how the influence, or lack of influence, from our fathers affects our dealings with women.

I had a friend in high school who was good with women, it seemed to be his mother that laid the groundwork for him. She made sure he was dressed well, had proper posture, knew how to comb his hair the right way, had a job after school, had good self esteem, had a cool car, etc.

 

[evan12]

A lot of the men who have not gown a healthy masculine personality have problem in getting women.

 

[betheman]

BB raises some good points but the thread title is wrong.
it excludes the influences of the mother, family, family dynamics, school, society and more and more importantly these days, the media. Boys are told to be men but at the same time, society in the west is making it more and more like a crime to be a man. A good father can lay a good solid foundation (but it seems he is fvcked if he cant shoot hoops) but even that foundation can be eroded by society.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Well a good father is a great filter against all that sh1t coming from society nowadays, agree with bb about the importante of that but simply cannot ignore the weight of the rest of the family and the group of peers.

A "strong independant" mother and an afc white knight father is probably the worst combo not only for screwing up the kid character but when it comes of the snowball effect bb talked about.

Thats why I suggest any user here whos family and group sucks the life out of them to simply leave instead of trying to fix it, its like a domino effect when bad or good things happen.

 

[Die Hard]

So you guys just found out that parents have a significant influence on the way their child develops... Great thread, lol.

 

[CaliMan007]

The father may not have been the best athlete, but he's doing the most important thing any parent can do - spending time with his child and teaching him how to be active and have fun.

Although the father sucks at basketball, perhaps he has highly advanced socializing skills and is a master conversationalist with women. Reality is, not everyone is athletic, but the father didn't give a sh!t and was out there having fun with his kid. Seems pretty bada$$ to me, and this will teach his son not to give a cr.ap and have fun, and to live his life to its fullest potential despite any limitations. I give the father tons of credit... and this is coming from a guy who is naturally athletically gifted.

Ever do karaokee? Most people can't sing and are too shy to step on stage to bust out a tune. But the guy people are drawn to are the ones who don't give a cr.ap, have the balls to step on stage with everyone listening, bust out a tune like it's nobodys business with a laugh and smile on their face. They'll never be singers, but they know how to have fun and that's all that matters. The father you describe sounds like one of these people.

 

[backbreaker]

The father may not have been the best athlete, but he's doing the most important thing any parent can do - spending time with his child and teaching him how to be active and have fun.

Although the father sucks at basketball, perhaps he has highly advanced socializing skills and is a master conversationalist with women. Reality is, not everyone is athletic, but the father didn't give a sh!t and was out there having fun with his kid. Seems pretty bada$$ to me, and this will teach his son not to give a cr.ap and have fun, and to live his life to its fullest potential despite any limitations. I give the father tons of credit... and this is coming from a guy who is naturally athletically gifted.

Ever do karaokee? Most people can't sing and are too shy to step on stage to bust out a tune. But the guy people are drawn to are the ones who don't give a cr.ap, have the balls to step on stage with everyone listening, bust out a tune like it's nobodys business with a laugh and smile on their face. They'll never be singers, but they know how to have fun and that's all that matters. The father you describe sounds like one of these people.

i was simply using my dad as an example because that's what he was good at. basketball, and it reminded me of him. no where did i say you must play ball to get *****.

my point being your father is responsible for your masculinity's starting point. wherever that masculinity manifests itself is different from father to father, son to son. for me it was sports and knowing how to dress. for some it's music, etc.

but if your father is a flaming raging beta male with no hobbies or social skills, the odds are this is going to put you behind the 8 ball with girls growing up and thus, dramatically effect your outlook on women as a young adult.

 

[zekko]

My father had passed away by the time I reached dating age. I imagine that might have contributed to the doubts I had with women early on.

I'm not sure if I would have listened to his advice anyway. I was a pretty stubborn teen/young adult. I pretty much had to make my own mistakes before I would learn.