Meeting gf's parents for the first time

[OnTheWayUp]

I've hooked up with a fair few girls in the past on a casual basis since discovering game, but I'm currently dating my first ever "official" girlfriend. We've been seeing each other since the end of November and went official about a month and a half ago. I am her first serious boyfriend as well; she claims she was a virgin when we had sex for the first time. I am somewhat skeptical about this claim, although she is definitely much less experienced than me.

Now she wants me to meet her parents and visit her in her family home. Whilst I like my girlfriend and think she's got a pretty awesome personality compared to other girls I've been with (plus about a 6 in looks), I'm not overly obsessed with her. This, combined with knowing I can meet other girls through my band very easily, means that I therefore see meeting her parents as a kind of experiment, or practice for the future. I don't care too much if I muck up and they don't like me.

With all this context in mind, I've been thinking about how I should approach meeting the parents next week. Specifically, I've been wondering about whether to bring them a gift, something like wine or chocolates.

Pros of gift:

-It's the socially done thing, and her family is quite wealthy and will almost certainly be expecting it.
-Shows gratitude for staying in their house, eating their food etc.
-The mother, in particular, is obviously past her sexual prime and will appreciate a man playing a beta provider role.

Cons:

-Buying people's affection is a bit lame.
-Playing the beta card might go down badly with my girlfriend.
-Even if not bringing a gift pisses off the parents, my girlfriend is still falling for me, and I might exaggerate the "bad boy" image I have constructed for myself by deliberately flaunting social norms.


I would appreciate advice on this specific issue, as well on general tips on how to handle parents, particularly as I am my girlfriend's first serious relationship and the parents will no doubt be anxious. My thoughts so far are along the lines of: game the mother and the sister; compliment the father and frame him as an alpha, even if he isn't one.

 

[cablecow15]

I would pass on the gift , unless you are really egar to see how it would go as a experiment , other wise I wouldn't waste the money.

Im also sure that it is very rare as ive never herd of it myself, so it might even come off weird.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

I would pass on the gift , unless you are really egar to see how it would go as a experiment , other wise I wouldn't waste the money.

Im also sure that it is very rare as ive never herd of it myself, so it might even come off weird.

It definitely wouldn't be taken as weird, as gift-giving is fairly standard in the uk. The question is whether i have more to gain from deliberately breaking social norms...

 

[GhengisT]

You said they're wealthy, so chances are the wine or chocolates you would be giving them are crap compared to what they buy for themselves.

 

[backseatjuan]

It's shameful to go to a house without a gift - at least in Russia. Why wine? Unless it's home made I wouldn't bother, wine nowadays, even fine wine, is wine deluted with sugar. Real wine has lots of red stuff at the bottom. Skip the wine. Chocolates? You could. I'd buy a tasty cake and if it wasn't too hard to carry the cake in one arm and flowers in the other, I'd also buy flowers for mother. Depending on who you see first, if father give him the cake and shake his hand, if mother give her the flower and hug and kiss her.

https://www.google.ru/search?tbm=is...3l0l2472l4l4l0l0l0l0l209l489l2j1j1l4l0.frgbld.

Then you'd have something to eat with tea.

 

[Diaforetikos]

Wine is fine. Nothing big. When you give it to them, just say it's a little thank you for having me over.

A small gesture that won't go over looked. If your gonna do that though, make sure you step out of your comfort zone and talk to the individuals in the household. By not being hip to hip with your girl, and stepping out to carry a convo with others shows that you care about who they are and that your not just there to get some ass.

Just a few things that worked for me in my experience with parents. Oh, and don't be super cheap on the wine, unless your broke. If they aren't jerks, they'll understand if you let them know you couldn't afford anything else.

 

[handle]

You could always ask your girlfriend some questions to see what kind of people they are (you probably have a read already I'd imagine though). Then you can decide from there whether bringing something would be a good idea.

Overall though I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you're going to bring a gift I like the idea of a bottle of wine because it's not a formal gift, it's something to be shared over dinner. When my gf's mom is in town we have dinner and sometimes I grab a bottle.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Rather than give a gift in that context, just contribute in some other way. Buy a pie for dinner or something. Not a gift given at the door but rather a contribution everyone will enjoy.

 

[DonGorgon]

here is some good advice...DO NOT MAKE HER PARENT LIEK YOU TOO MUCH.. I have found that that turns females off especially young wants... they ;love the drama of a parent not fully approving of their man .. if her parent approve them she finds it boring and not exciting enough..

Be cool and polite but not overly nice..

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Lots of stuff to think about here, thanks for your replies. I've decided I'm going to treat the event not as a big deal, but rather try to just be a normal, socially engaging, charming guy. I'm going to bring some wine, but won't make a big deal of it- why should I? It's not like I want to marry the girl. I think the posters who warn of the dangers of having a girl's parents like you too much make a very valid point, something that most people in the "matrix" would not even consider. I actually think it's more important that the sister likes me than the parents, and with a bit of game, that should be no problem.

Thanks for your help- if anyone thinks I've forgotten some aspect, please just let me know.