There is a girl I like, who I pretty much blew my chances on about a year ago. She was a friend, and I became infatuated with her. I was untrained in the ways of this site at the time, and so there were many AFC actions. I sent text messages declaring my love when I was drunk, and of course got replies in the negative, which went something like “I’m so sorry, but I don’t feel the same way. I’m seeing a guy at the moment, so please stop sending these messages”.
Well, for what is I suppose a stupid reason, because we were friends before, we remained friends, and over time, I think it took about 3 months, things went back to the way they were; verging on romantic, but never quite there. When she said no to me, it hurt my pride too much, to the effect that I never asked her again, even though looking back on it she had ample reason to say no to me, firstly the way I asked but secondly the fact that she had a boyfriend at that time, who to be honest, was actually quite a good guy. In the mean time I’d dated my fair share of girls, but my eyes are on her again. Of course, she’s single now though.
Anyway, my behavior towards her has been very varied, for a while it was a bit submissive, paying for her, holding doors, not disagreeing etc. even though I’d read the guide, she’s a HB10 at least, so sometimes I felt helpless.
So, I finally brought myself together, C&F somehow does not suit my personality, and my natural personality tends to work with up to about a HB9. So with her I’m currently trying indifference, after a long bout of submissiveness. For example, at lectures, she would often stare at me, clearly to wind me up because she knows my feeling for her, before I’d look back briefly and smile, to which she would smirk at me, as if she had won. Now I tried a new course of action, even though I could see her in the corner of my eye staring at me, I made sure not to make eye contact and this eventually let to a, what I thought was a positive reaction, she called out my name, and asked me to open the window. So, I faltered a bit there, I know a C&F line would have been best there, but I did actually open it, because I was feeling a bit hot myself, and was not paying attention to who it was. Later she did the same again, continually stared at me, eventually, by accident I made slight eye contact with her, and she asked me if I was tired because I was lying on the desk, to this I replied erm yeah in quite an indifferent tone.
Later we caught up and she asked me for a favor (borrow money) to which I said maybe. She was shocked at this because as I said, I used to always say yes to her. After this she continued with casual conversation for a bit, and we parted ways, but I don’t know if this was effective.
Am I acting too indifferent to her? Is there a better course of action I should take?
As an aside there is another girl who I saw recently, who is a family friend’s daughter, whom I identified after I’d seen her because of casual banter about her with my cousin. She was defiantly a HB10, and I know her number because I know her family quite well, but I did not speak to her when I saw her. Do you think it would be strange if I phoned her home? If not, what should I say to introduce myself without seeming like I’d stalked her?
Well, for what is I suppose a stupid reason, because we were friends before, we remained friends, and over time, I think it took about 3 months, things went back to the way they were; verging on romantic, but never quite there. When she said no to me, it hurt my pride too much, to the effect that I never asked her again, even though looking back on it she had ample reason to say no to me, firstly the way I asked but secondly the fact that she had a boyfriend at that time, who to be honest, was actually quite a good guy. In the mean time I’d dated my fair share of girls, but my eyes are on her again. Of course, she’s single now though.
Anyway, my behavior towards her has been very varied, for a while it was a bit submissive, paying for her, holding doors, not disagreeing etc. even though I’d read the guide, she’s a HB10 at least, so sometimes I felt helpless.
So, I finally brought myself together, C&F somehow does not suit my personality, and my natural personality tends to work with up to about a HB9. So with her I’m currently trying indifference, after a long bout of submissiveness. For example, at lectures, she would often stare at me, clearly to wind me up because she knows my feeling for her, before I’d look back briefly and smile, to which she would smirk at me, as if she had won. Now I tried a new course of action, even though I could see her in the corner of my eye staring at me, I made sure not to make eye contact and this eventually let to a, what I thought was a positive reaction, she called out my name, and asked me to open the window. So, I faltered a bit there, I know a C&F line would have been best there, but I did actually open it, because I was feeling a bit hot myself, and was not paying attention to who it was. Later she did the same again, continually stared at me, eventually, by accident I made slight eye contact with her, and she asked me if I was tired because I was lying on the desk, to this I replied erm yeah in quite an indifferent tone.
Later we caught up and she asked me for a favor (borrow money) to which I said maybe. She was shocked at this because as I said, I used to always say yes to her. After this she continued with casual conversation for a bit, and we parted ways, but I don’t know if this was effective.
Am I acting too indifferent to her? Is there a better course of action I should take?
As an aside there is another girl who I saw recently, who is a family friend’s daughter, whom I identified after I’d seen her because of casual banter about her with my cousin. She was defiantly a HB10, and I know her number because I know her family quite well, but I did not speak to her when I saw her. Do you think it would be strange if I phoned her home? If not, what should I say to introduce myself without seeming like I’d stalked her?