"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Managing your energy levels: More important than you think

SandHawk

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I've recently been reflecting on my gaming sessions with one of my buddies as a wing. While he's not really actively winging, I consider him in certain scenarios a wing. He is well informed about gaming, but claims not using it, and his results are rather depressing. In terms of looks, my friend is much better looking than I am, yet my results are astoundingly much better than his.

My first reflection on his wingman skills were with a girl I've been with a weekend ago. We were discussing the night we met, and how me and my friend were there. My friend was there before me, and had gotten to know the other people before me. I rolled in, got introduced and after a night of flirting, me and the girl hit it off and I ended up banging her. She called him hyper and unpredictable in a negative sense, kind of creepy.

2 weeks ago we were together in a hostel in Hungary and met 2 cute French chicks. Turns out they were sisters, one had boyfriend and the other one was an AW. We got a bit into a conversation, we were both interested in banging this chick for the night. Eventually I lost interest due to her constant AWing. However, my friends was all over the place and went to great lengths to hit on her, and even got her to go into the toilet with him to roll a spliff. I decided to give him some time alone with her to escalate outside before joining them to smoke that spliff. Nothing happened between them. Not in the toilets, not outside. Later that night, I had the chick on my lap and she kissed me.

Over various other encounters I've discovered that his energy levels are always WAY through the roof, while mine are usually a lot lower than his. The various girls I've discussed him with ALWAYS end up saying the same thing: He gives off such a nervous vibe while monkeying around. He appears to be trying to be an alpha of the group, but ends up making a fool out of himself. On the other hand, my energy levels are usually lower than that of the girls I'm with, but tend to match them. When the girls are chill, I'm chill, when the girls are all over the place, I'm with them, but still below them.

A lot of the material says indeed that energy levels should match that of your target. My various encounters with girls have showed the truth of this: The more difference between your and her energy levels, the more uncomfortable she is. Too high energy results in coming off nervous, trying to impress them and highly unpredictable(volatile, in a negative way), while too low means you're completely indifferent, awkward and perhaps silent.

Try and match your energy levels to that of the girl! I tend to keep them below their level if they're hyped up, because they'll chase you and try to up your level to theirs. This only works if your levels are slightly belows her. When the girl is a bit dull and boring, I try to keep mine above hers so she'll get a bit hyped up. If you feel that energy levels are out of sync, don't change yours immediately either. Just gradually up them or lower them, so they don't directly notice it(which could make them think "WTF is going on here?").

In short: Keep track of your energy! It really influences how you come off towards other people, and could really set back your results. Play with your energy levels, don't be hyper or down all the time. Alternating with energy levels adds in to you mystery.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

garruk

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hmm i see where you are coming from but the problem with your "experiment" is that there is a lot that isnt controlled for.

how do you know its the neergy level and not his nervousness?

i have no idea because i have never paid attention to this but do you think high energy can have girls view him as fun? if you are always at a lower energy than them couldnt you be seen as boring?

i mean theres just a ton of different questions i ahve goingthrough my head as im reading this. great post, but i think you might be drawing conclusion too early
 

zekko

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I've always read that it's best for your energy to match or exceed hers.
Sounds like your buddy may be coming across as try hard.
 
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