Major , project: help needed

[MacAvoy]

Alright DJ's, I've taken on a major project and I'm going to need your help. I've agreed to take my 16 yr old godchild under my wing and have him live with me.

Here's the scenario, I moved away from my province, A)mainly for a girl but B)largely to get away from my home province. I love my life in my new province, its totally reinvigorated me and gotten me away from all the negative influences in my old life.

Here's his story. He's 16, doesn't attend school. His mom spoiled him, his 2 sisters were the same way, they both missed tonnes of school, one graduated at 21, the other at 24. Of course, the next one was even worse. He's always missed tonnes of school but about a year ago, he had an ongoing run in with some dude at school. Then apparantly, he found a gun or something, took it, & reported it. At the end of the day, the cops couldn't really do much. I'm not sure of the exact circumstances but needless to say, it ostrisized him even more.

Of importance to note, that its a small town where everyone knows everyone.

So he finally just only does homeschool. He use to be in cadets in the next town and that was his one piece of socialization. But he got promoted and didn't like it or something happened and he quit. I'm sketchy on a lot of the details. So I went home last week for my grandma's funeral and after learning a bit more about the situation, I asked if he wants to move with me and go to school here. He agreed and his mom agreed and agreed to pay his rent.

Now where I need your help. How can I best get him to come out of his shell? I'm not going to point him to this site until he's here with me in Aug/Sept. However I want to give him some homework in the meantime. I think we need to work on getting him more outgoing and just socialable in general.

I don't think he wants to be a hermit but in essence thats how he lives his life. But I think a part of it is out of necessity in a small town. I was thinking how to win friends & influence people.

Anyone have any other ideas on how to prepare him for the move to the city?

 

[joekerr31]

first dont point him to this site, in my opinion.

theres as much crap here as there is good insight, and a 16 year old probably cant tell the difference.

two, sounds like this guys had a tough life. maybe get him to see a councillor. im canadian also, and far as i know, you can get councilling services for free in just about every city across the country.

three, get him some books that will help him see the world in a positive way despite its struggles.

four, and most importantly, he's probably going to end up modelling you. so if you have your act together, then in time he will as well.

just talk to him about insights you've gained in life and eventually he will absorb them also.

 

[Vulpine]

make him watch a few movies: fight club, matrix, rodger dodger, tao of steve, etc.

then, print out "weapons of mass seduction", the ten commandments, and other select monumental reads for him - perhaps leave them on the kitchen table for him with a little note: "check this sh!t out, dude."

Perhaps push 48 Laws of Power and books like that at him, but I would say after some basics, share with him some of your philosophies and let him develop into his own person.

I agree, don't point him here. Given his age, he'll probably go right for PUA tips and tricks and not fully appreciate the entire lifestyle/attitude/philosopy content. He'll get more from you second hand, and accept it more readily since you are family.

 

[Sinistar]

First, unplug the TV as it's a complete waste of time (for you and him) not to mention its the primary programming outlet reinforcing the fe-matrix. I'd recommend watching movies with him, but totally cut the daytime, nightime stuff.

Second, get out and do real stuff with him. Instead of watching TV for 2 hours, go play tennis or something for 2 hours. If possible, do some work outs together to help him form that habit early in life. Hit the bikes and trails. Take some type of lessons together where you'll both actually have fun (ie golf, scuba, sailing, etc).

Use the computer to your advantage. Teach him how to use it, not just to use it to mindlessly eating up the day. I wouldn't recommend this site to him for quite a while. However, if you do it right when he finally reads it he'll understand where you're coming from.

Also, try to think of ways where you can demonstrate or have him learn himself that rejections and failures are just a part of life instead of reasons to just give up.

I would guess a bunch of us here wasted a lot of our youth while we were young. Here's you chance to nudge this kid in a direction that may very well have a positive meaning in his life.

You are undertaking a very big responsibility, it will change your life too.

 

[Vulpine]

I second the notion of unplugging the TV. Talk about a waste of life.

 

[amoka]

I second the notion of unplugging the TV. Talk about a waste of life.

yup, tv is a complete waste of time.

 

[MacAvoy]

Some great advice so far, thx. He's actually into working out, he has a gym set in his room, so that will be great, we'll both get a membership somewhere.

He won't be moving here till mid August probably and I don't want to give him really too much before then so what would you recommend that I could give to him in the meantime. Keeping in mind that his parents will likely see it. I don't want them to think I'm turning him into a manwh0re, as they already view me as a player / man of many women.

Something light but positive. Nothing too deep though that he won't understand.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Mac,



Always lead by EXAMPLE.

Always be a MAN in his presence.

Because modeling what it takes to be a MAN is better when it is DEMONSTRATED as opposed to when it's just being "described".

 

[MacAvoy]

Victory, thx for pointing out something that I should have known. I've learnt the most not from this site but from becoming best friends with an alpha male. This site has only reinforced and given me the theory / knowledge to support what I've seen him do. Thanks again.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

first dont point him to this site, in my opinion....

Agreed. Young guys will get try every short cut found in the forum, get confused and frustrated and become bitter.

I suggest building a one on one bond with him directly. If he's going to be taken under your wing MacAvoy, then do it completely yourself; don't pawn him of on anyone (especially an Internet forum).

Use what you've learned about being a man and teach him yourself. I did this with my stepson when he was 16 and it drew us together big time.

You have a chance to help lead and inspire a future man who will more than likely need do the same for someone else in his life. Don't waste the opportunity; it could be a great learning experience, for both of you.

 

[DJDamage]

Ask him what sports he likes and play sports with him or make sure he signs with a sports club in his town. He will have friends, self-esteem, and become more sociable. Having a competitive hobby that he likes is a good start.