This is MB in a nutshell
The Emotional Progression Model
• Our model follows a woman’s emotional progression from first meeting you to being in some form
of relationship with you, even if it’s just friends with benefits. The next six sections give a couple of tips for each phase of the model. (The 7th - on relationships - is one you don’t have to worry about tonight.)
• Key insight #1: You create mutual attraction before you build comfort. Put another way, you
hold off on the “what’s your name?” and “what do you do?” questions as well as the really deep
conversations until it’s obvious that you are both interested in each other.
• Key insight #2: She needs to be showing that she is interested in you before you can show
her that you are interested in her.Don’t worry; we’re about to show you how to get a woman
interested in you.
• Chapter 4 explains the model in detail.
Meeting (OPENING/APPROACHING)
• The simplest way to meet women at a bar is usually to stay near the bar area. Don’t get drunk.
When you see a group of two or three women together, pretend to “spontaneously” notice them
and ask them a question like one of these:
• “I’m planning my friend’s birthday party next Friday and I’m trying to decide between an 80s
theme and a jungle theme. What do you think?”
• “My friend keeps getting anonymous emails from a secret admirer but he thinks he knows who it
is. Should he say something?”
• Ask the question like the situation is really going on, not like you’re taking a survey.
• These are the beginnings of “opinion openers.” In Chapter 5, we explain how to use them,
what comes next, and we go over six other types of ways to start a conversation with a woman,
including much more direct methods.
• Always start talking to a woman within a few seconds of seeing her. This is important. Don’t stare.
Don’t lurk. Lurking is creepy. Creepy is bad. Nothing will turn a woman off more than creepy. Any
time that you don’t want a woman to be interested in a man, imply that he is “creepy.” Approach
right away.
• You can approach other groups (including women by themselves, larger groups, groups with
men in them, groups sitting down, etc.) but a couple of women together at the bar is the easiest
to get started with.
• Approaching is dealt with extensively in Chapter 5.
Transitioning
• Once they’ve started talking about your friend’s birthday or secret admirer for a few seconds, cut
them off by noticing something about them. Yes, actually interrupt them. What you notice can
be something simple like “You look like you’d be a schoolteacher.” Or, it can be a longer, more
playful piece such as:
– “Alright it seems that you [pick one woman at random] are the good one and you [the other
woman] are the bad one. And that’s okay. One of you can be my angel and the other can
be the devil. Like we’ll roll down the street, one of you on each arm, we’ll make all the other
women jealous, and every time there’s a decision to be made, you guys can whisper in my
ear and we’ll see who’s more tempting.”
19 2007 ©
• The point of the transition is to move from a narrow, one-subject conversation that will eventually
exhaust itself (like your friend’s birthday or secret admirer) to a normal conversation about all sorts
of things. Observing something about the people you’re talking to – especially if it’s done in a
humorous or intriguing way – is a great way to do this.
• There are also other types of transitions (this one just happens to be easy to use), and we cover
them all in Chapter 6.
• Important note: Don’t compliment anyone or ask personal questions yet. Don’t worry about why
this is; we don’t have time for that now (it’s explained in Chapters 4-11).
Attraction
• Now that you have a normal conversation going, your next goal is get attraction from the woman
you are interested in. This makes for one of the longest sections in the book (Chapter 7). For now, here are a couple of techniques:
– Tease her (playfully; don’t be mean) – give her a nickname.
– Tell good stories. Funny is usually good. Tell your stories as if they are emotional journeys,
not recitations of facts.
– Don’t do anything that would be interpreted as hitting on her.
– Be entertaining, without seeming to try too hard.
• Keep the idea in your head that you’ve been with more beautiful women than the one(s) you’re
talking to, and that you don’t need anything from them; you’re just having a good time. Don’t say
this and don’t be negative, but let these thoughts guide and influence your behavior. A challenging
man drives women crazy. Why Challenging is one of the eight attraction triggers and how to be
challenging is explained in Chapter 7 (Attraction).
• Up to and including this point you will be doing 90% of the talking. Don’t let silence happen.
Keep talking.
• Never leave a group because you “ran out of things to say.” Say anything. Even the most boring
thing in the world is better than awkward silence. Forcing yourself to say something – anything –
will get you used to improvising and handling social pressure.
• As you get good at this, you should be consistently getting some signs of attraction from her.
Chapter 7 goes into a lot more detail on the five basic ways of creating attraction and the eight
things you want her to know about you (attraction triggers). Some examples of signs of attraction
are: touching you; laughing at your jokes; or staying and talking to you for 20 minutes or so. There
are about fifteen other important signs, but for tonight those are the three big ones.
• When you’re getting a few signs of attraction, tone it down. You don’t need to tease her as much
anymore. You can give her sincere compliments now. This is explained in the next section on Qualification.
Qualification
• When she is giving you signs that she is interested in you, switch gears. Now you can indulge
your curiosity about her. You can ask her “screening questions” like: “So, what do you do for fun?”
When she tells you things about herself that you are attracted to, compliment her on them.
• Three compliments are usually enough. And make her earn them; she should have to talk about
things that are genuinely interesting to you.
• Once she’s done this, you can say something like “when I first met you I wasn’t sure about you.
Now that I get to you know you, you’re pretty interesting.”
• Use the information she gave you by answering your screening questions to begin building rapport
and looking for commonalities.
• Chapter 8: Qualification covers this process in more detail; it’s a tricky one. There’s a ton more to
it than I can fit here and it takes some practice, but these tips should get you through tonight.
Comfort
• This is where you can roll out all of the usual “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?”
questions.
• Concentrate on getting to know each other across a wide variety of topics as opposed to talking
about one subject in detail.
• Don’t make your conversation into an interview. Use statements instead of questions whenever
possible. Prompt her to tell you about herself by telling stories yourself.
• You should already have begun touching her playfully before this stage, but now it’s time to initiate
more intimate touches. Start out with playful pushing, tapping, thumb wrestling, etc., and then
move into more intimate stuff like hand holding and kissing... It should be a smooth, upward
transition that is comfortable for both of you.
• The Comfort phase is where you decide what to do next: take her home (Seduction) or get her
phone number. These are our next two topics.
• Chapter 9: Comfort covers this in detail, including what to do if her friends are still around, how
and when to get alone with her, and how to make her feel completely connected to you.
Seduction
• Seduction is about being alone with her and progressing toward sex.
• Your big obstacle in Seduction is “state breaks” – jarring interruptions when a woman has to
consciously think about the possibility that she is on the road to having sex with you. These
include: going home with you, moving into your bedroom, undressing, and so on.
• Chapter 10 goes over the three basic ways of dealing with state breaks (avoid/blur/distract); for
tonight, focus on distraction. When something is about to happen that will engage her logically
in this way, do something else that will take her attention away. For example, when you take her
home, talk non-stop. Don’t talk fast or appear nervous, but don’t let a moment of silence come
in.. Keep her mind occupied with your words. Your monologue will distract her from the fact that she is coming home with you.
Getting Her Phone Number
• Make sure you get her number; don’t just give her yours.
You • can get a phone number anytime in or after the Attraction phase, but it’s best to wait until
Comfort. We explain why in Chapter 23 (Phone Game).
• Make specific plans for what you two will do that is interesting and doesn’t involve dinner and a movie.
• Stay for at least 5 minutes after you get her number.
• Chapter 23 covers how to get a woman’s phone number so she’ll answer when you call and what to do in the first phone conversation.
