"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Made a move w/ girl...good but needs to be delayed?

The Comeback Kid

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As I mentioned in the last thread I began, there was a girl that I like. Well, after giving her the silent treatment yesterday and most of Saturday (maybe it works Bluelemond), I finally did "make a move." First, I intended to not ask her out directly (if at all here). I said something to the nature of that it would be great if we could hang out because we only see each other on AIM and at school.

She said yes. :cheer:

Now, I don't really think this means were exactly "going out" quite yet, but it's definately a good start. :cool:

While talking about what to do (she said she'd go anywhere), she warned me that during her volleyball season, the schedule is very strenuous and it clogs up her day almost every day lately. At first, I figured she was exaggerating, so I checked her schedule...she wasn't kidding. :rolleyes: She has practice till 4:30-5:00 everyday and she has a lot of games coming up (including a big tournament Saturday).

There are a couple times this week and next week (not many) where I can see her having some free time (and work around the V-Ball), so I'll see how that works out.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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frisco

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I would just tell her to call me sometime when shes free instead of trying to work around her scheduel if she legitmatly wants to hang out shell call
 

LikRetsam

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Haha. You think 4:30 is bad. Think about some of us who don't get home until seven pm every day.

Tell us how it goes.
 

DJ4Real

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Dude, seriously, this girl isn't talking to you like you're boyfriend quality. She's talking to you like a bestfriend who just wants to hang out with her. And then you're making it worse by attempting to work around her schedule! remember, your a man, a man is supposed to be very busy aswell, which means he has to have his own life and goals. Right now, your goals are all in the wrong place: "around her schedule". When she said she was busy, you should have said, "Well, that's too bad, my schedule is loaded too. But, give me your number and I'll pencil you in for an outing sometime". The key is to have a life, but have her apart of your life. Making moves all takes precise timing. You still have to amplify her attraction for you before you make any further moves. Right now, it seems like she's a potential girl, so work on that, but have a life while you work on that.

Good Luck:cool:
 

The Comeback Kid

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Originally posted by DJ4Real
Dude, seriously, this girl isn't talking to you like you're boyfriend quality. She's talking to you like a bestfriend who just wants to hang out with her. And then you're making it worse by attempting to work around her schedule! remember, your a man, a man is supposed to be very busy aswell, which means he has to have his own life and goals. Right now, your goals are all in the wrong place: "around her schedule". When she said she was busy, you should have said, "Well, that's too bad, my schedule is loaded too. But, give me your number and I'll pencil you in for an outing sometime". The key is to have a life, but have her apart of your life. Making moves all takes precise timing. You still have to amplify her attraction for you before you make any further moves. Right now, it seems like she's a potential girl, so work on that, but have a life while you work on that.

Good Luck:cool:
I get what you're saying...

...luckily I didn't talk to her yet. :cool: I'll make myself appear quite busy so she can't just have her way. And, there is no way in he** I'm a best friend to her. We get along fine, but no best friend factor in there lol.

There's a small snafu (nothing serious) that I need to fix, so there will probably no real progress for a day or two. In short, we get along real well, then she blocked my AIM and almost seemed to avoid me in school - it's like she changed overnight. So I just gotta see what this could mean, then I should be fine (her friend said it's likely not that big). This same friend, who plays with the girl I like on the V-Ball team, said the team likes when I come for support, so this friend may try to get to the bottom of this quickly if they want me to go to some of their games from now on. I won't ask her (the girl) about it, but I'll get my answer somehow.:D
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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