"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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luckster tryna do work

luckster

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Yo,


So I figured I'd spawn one of these threads to keep a log. Basic things about me:
  • Recently graduated from Uni
  • Got a somewhat decent paying job (down side: it's about 12hr per day with paid overtime until end of this year, so I see barely any sunlight during the weekdays). Recently been asked if I can work weekends, not sure what I'll do yet.
  • Found these boards in April, broke up with LTR around that time, been working on self since
  • I've been reading the various posts & the bible, working on my self image and general self improvements
  • Picked up the guitar a few years back, upped my practicing since joining SS (I really enjoy playing, making more and more time for it)
  • Was around 260lbs in March, currently at 230lbs and working out 2-3x a week (weights mostly, minimal high intensity cardio). I'm trying to get this up a bit more but work is killing me


ANYWAY...


Whenever I find the time, I try to go out with a couple buddies. Plan is to hit the bars/clubs tomorrow & Saturday, let's see what happens...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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luckster

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Friday, 11/11/11
Went out with 3 of my buddies yesterday: 2 of them somewhat good with girls, 1 with a GF but still hangs and wings. So we walk into the club, 2 of my buddies almost immediately jump on the dance floor and start making out with girls (I'm no where near the point of being able to do that yet, I went to get a drink with the GF friend instead).

We grab our drinks and go talk to these 2 girls (both 7) and my buddy with the GF is trying to wing. They're not feeling it; saying they were about to leave the club. My mind draws a blank on **** to say, so we ditch them. I go grab another drink and we walk around like dumbasses for about 10 minutes looking for opportunities.

I see a cute blonde (7.5) sitting with her friend (5) and I approach both of them and start chatting, mostly focusing on the blonde since it's pretty damn loud and it's getting hard to carry a conversation with the other -- my friends are nowhere to be found. I chat with the 7.5 for about 15 mins, the friend looks bored ****less. They're both from out of state and I tell the blonde I want to see her before she leaves & number close (I'll contact her prob Sunday, she's leaving the state the coming Friday.. gotta be a bit hasty).


Night goes on, I reunite with my friends. We run into 4 girls that we know (ranging from 4-7s), we start drinking and dancing with them. Me and one of my buddies leave them and go to the dance floor. About 5 mins into dancing, this hot blonde (9) comes up and starts grinding on me. We dance for about 5 mins and (apparently) I grabbed her tits. She takes my hands off and puts them on her ass and we continue to dance. I guess she didn't like that too much (mind you I'm a bit tipsy at this point).

One of the girls from that group I mentioned previously comes up and starts dancing & grinding so that goes on for a little white and then I leave her (she wasn't really pretty and kinda fat).

Another girl starts dancing next to me (8) and I grab her and pull her towards me. She says she has a boyfriend, I say "that's a shame" and keep dancing without her. She leaves for a bit and comes back near again, so I pull her over again; she starts laughing and starts dancing with me.

Club is about to close; I get a call from my friends saying it's time to go and they're outside. Had a fun time, not much to show for it, not many encounters, but I wouldn't see my self doing any of these before I found these boards. So any feedback & suggestions are always welcome, at any time... this is a learning process for me so pointers are always appreciated.

Going out for a friend's bday tonight, will post again. Now I gotta go to work... on Saturday :(
 

luckster

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Saturday, 11/12/11
Not much to report, a pretty short and unproductive night. Didn't get off work till around 11 at night then drove to meet up with my friends. Finding parking was a *****, didn't get to the club till like 12am. Anyway, I head in and grab a drink at the bar and find my friends. They're just kinda chilling on the dance floor not really even dancing so I make some banter with some strangers as I finish my drink. I head over to my friends and get them to start moving a bit.

Me and one of the guys see a group of about 5 girls in a circle (all 7+), all of them pretty much on their phones. We try breaking into that and it just wasn't happening... how do you approach this? Couldn't isolate anyone and none were down to dance.

We head back to the dance floor and dance with some random girls that are by themselves and called it a night around 1:15am... I had a lot fun dancing, but still not much to show for it.

On another note, I texted the cute blonde from Friday around 1PM today, commenting on her choice of drink that night. Haven't heard back. This situation kinda sucks though: she leaves the state this Friday so I'm thinking I have no time to lose, but my instincts tell me not to be so frequent with my communications. As of right now, I plan to contact her again Tuesday if she doesn't bite. It's already pretty obvious to her that I'm not looking for anything long term (since she's leaving to go back home on Friday) so if she does reciprocate, it should be a sealed deal... unless I do something stupid, like smother her :p
 

luckster

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Alright, just came home from work. Here is an update on the cute blonde:

Haven't heard from her since my initial contact (Sunday @11AM), so I sent another text today @1PM. The following "conversation" ensued:

Me: <cute blonde>! Haven't heard from you... the rules of life clearly state you have to know someone at least 6 months before they're eligible for the silent treatment
Her: Hey sorry I've been swamped at work lately
Me: Ah, well I can take your mind off that :) There are some beautiful night time scenes to see out here, how's your Thursday looking?
Her: Planning to pack that day
Me: What time do you leave Friday?
Her: 245

And I left it at that... this looks like a dead end to me? I don't plan on contacting her again. Not much content in her replies, she's giving me nothing.

Self reflection
It doesn't look like I built enough rapport with this girl to gain her interest. The communication was good, lots of laughter, but I think the bored-looking friend might have had an adverse affect? Although, I must admit, after the number close, I didn't really have a good ejection strategy which might have left things hanging. Need to work on that.


Now I'm gonna practice some guitar and go to bed... gnite.
 

luckster

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Went out last night with the same friends from the first time. Hit up 3 bars, they were all ghost towns. All 3 of them had their dance floors closed. We sat at a booth at one of the bars and some girls came over. We chatted with them for a bit then left. Pretty much another bust. I'm wondering why it was so dead on a Friday... Thanksgiving weekend?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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luckster

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12/1
My wrist has been hurting a lot lately, that's slowed down my weight training and I haven't seen a dumbbell in like 2 weeks. I made an appointment with a doctor, she recommended a few physical therapy sessions. I'll be starting those next week. This is gonna cut into work time and it's really hurting my workout routine. If the therapy doesn't hurt, she said she'd want to do an MRI. I hope it's nothing too serious :/



12/7
I went to get a oil change today. Dropped my car off and went to get something to eat. When I came back, my car wasn't ready yet so I went to the waiting area and there was an HB5 sitting by herself, smacking away on her phone. I saw a fat wedding ring on her finger so I wasn't really going to try anything (not to mention I couldn't see myself ever gettin' with her) and just decided to converse to improve my skills. Started up a conversation and then I eventually stopped talking to her after 5 mins cause she was still on her phone. She ended up putting it away about a minute after I stopped talking and she reignited the conversation so I continued to reward her with my words, haha. Had a nice 20-min conversation and then parted ways... I need to do more of this so I get better and it becomes more natural.

At this point the waiting area was empty so I walked over to the reception area and started a conversation with the guy behind the counter, we spoke for about 10 minutes and then my car was ready.

I need to come up with more interesting and fun topics, aka I need to do more adventurous stuff.



12/11
So I've found I still don't have my confidence level to be where I want it to be, the only thing that gets me there at this point is the magic liquid... :/

I've put sex & women on the back burner for the time being and decided to focus on getting my confidence up. I've been working a lot lately (80hrs~ a week) so gym and diet really slacked, I've lost 0lbs since the beginning of this thread (didn't gain any either, body fat seems to have stayed the same as well).

I'm taking any extra time I have at home to prepare well balanced meals to eat at work. Cooked meals for 4 days last night so this week I should be good. Went to the gym this last Friday, sore as hell still. Serves me right for ignoring it for so long. Got my gym routines for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday set, no excuses. I'm making these sessions.
 

luckster

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I write tonight pretty damn mad at myself. Went to a holiday party tonight, one of the few nights that I chose not to slave at work and take time to myself. Right off the bat I had a HB9 hooked to me. Hot, sexy, cute, educated. We conversed for a good 20 minutes as we sipped wine in a room full of people as though we were the only ones there. She couldn't stop playing with her hair and turning her body towards me. I ended the conversation pretty smoothly, excused myself and joined another conversation for 20-30 minutes until the festivities began (games, etc). Some other guy went to start talking to her but I paid no attention, continued to have fun and laughs in the time I was spending there. The entire time she kept glancing over at me. I think I played it well, but I just ****ed up the close-- bad (as in, no close). My friend, after we parted, reaffirmed that she was putty in my hand and that had I gone for it, it was a definite close.

What gets me is I had so many opportunities, and I just flat out *****ed out. Part of the dialect went like this (note: my favorite beer is Guinness):

Her: I really enjoy a Guinness
Me: Ah yes, it tastes best on draft
Her: I'm kinda of craving one right now
Me: It'll do that to you... it's got that unique taste, <enter some stupid question here>

LIKE WHAT THE ****... WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU DUMB ****?! HOW ABOUT "I know a place... let's go" or "I'll take you to this one place that's perfect... what's your number?"

dflk;jgnsdfljkgnsdfg

There were a couple opportunities to exchange phone numbers as well, but still I didn't take it... I straight up b1tched out, no excuse. **** I hate this feeling. I hope this will be a lesson learned and not a waste.
 
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