LTR with a new twist

[theonedude]

I have the opposite problem of most people on the planet. I have a girlfriend that I love and we have been going out for several years. I have no desire to stop dating her at any point in time.

the problem is this: there is this girl i have known for two years whom i have gotten relatively close to and have somehow recently gotten a feelings for.

I know that it isn't the end of the world if you get a crush on some other girl in such a long term relationship, but i don't know how to make it go away or what to do.

Because i feel honesty is the best policy, I told all parties involved, as this was a very deep crush, and i couldn't go every day not telling the girl i love that i'm dealing with feelings for another woman, or see that woman every day while hiding these feelings i have around her.

Anyways, that was a few weeks ago. My girlfriend and I are now closer than before, as this whole thing actually brought up a lot of issues in our relationship. Sadly, now i see this girl every day whom i used to be close to and i just feel awkward. I try not to show it, but i don't know how to act anymore. It turns out its hard to act confident and funny when she knows that you are dealing with feelings for her. I just want things to go back to the way they were before. I know this would have been easier if i didn't tell her, but i felt like she deserved to know.

Anyways, i guess I just wanted to know what you guys thought:

First of all, am I a creep?

Second, how would you deal with this situation?

Do you think that its probably impossible to be friends with her knowing that you had feelings for her?

Is this all going to do some long-term damage to my relationship with my girlfriend if i am still trying to be friends with a girl that she knows i have feelings for?

If we can't be friends, how the hell do i act normal around her at least since i see her on most weekdays?

 

[DonGorgon]

LOL... happens all the time... I bet your girlfriend has some secrets too that you will never know about.... The human "relationship" saga continues...

 

[DonGorgon]

Men and women cant be real friends if either one or both has feeling or finds the other attractive. So either cheat with her or let her go.

 

[KontrollerX]

My thoughts are you did about the stupidest most dumb fvck thing a person can do by telling all the parties involved your feelings.

I say that not to insult you but just to let you know what I think of what you did so hopefully you don't make this mistake in future relationships.

Honesty in certain situations is not always the best policy and now you are suffering as a result.

What you can do and what I would do had I made your mistake in a similar situation is simply act cordial and polite to the girl you have feelings for.

Keep things brief, maybe crack a joke or two if you are inspired and then be on your merry way.

Most of all stop stressing about things and try and forget it and eventually normality and your equilibrium should return.

 

[DonGorgon]

My thoughts are you did about the stupidest most dumb fvck thing a person can do by telling all the parties involved your feelings.

I say that not to insult you but just to let you know what I think of what you did so hopefully you don't make this mistake in future relationships.

Honesty in certain situations is not always the best policy and now you are suffering as a result.

Honesty Is An Option To Be Considered Very Carefully Adn Only Used If Teh Benefits Out Weigh Those Of A Lie.

 

[KontrollerX]

Well said DonGorgon.

Also remember that by not telling his feelings for another chick he wouldn't be lying unless he was asked about her and denied having feelings.

It is keeping a secret but not a huge secret such as cheating on a chick or having a threesome with her sister and kinky stepmother.

 

[DavenJuan]

Well said DonGorgon.

Also remember that by not telling his feelings for another chick he wouldn't be lying unless he was asked about her and denied having feelings.

It is keeping a secret but not a huge secret such as cheating on a chick or having a threesome with her sister and kinky stepmother.

agreed...

if you hated your boss and his annoying voice you couldnt stand. would you go up to him and tell him that?? some things are best kept a secret.

especially if youhave no intention on dumping your girlfriend and hooking up with this other girl.

IMO i would be careful of you gf now. she may find it acceptable to pursue things that she may not have done before she found out you have a wandering eye as well as feelings.

 

[Ricky]

You are 100% normal. We all are attracted to alot of different women even while in LTR's.

I'm in an LTR now. I'm not sure if I would have told my girlfriend or not. She knows I've been a playboy in the past (and now) but doesn't want to think about it as much.