Kimber ... sorry your so bitter .. you know it doesnt have to be that way. There is a way to make LTRs and marriages work 100% you can fall in love with anyone. ITs a formula that you can piece together.. go read my intro thread in the married guy forum and you will see where to get these tools to actually have a fulfilling LTR or marriage. I promise It works.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
LTR sudden ending
- Thread starter ayava
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Question:
So its going on a little over 6 weeks since the end of this LTR and I've maintained NC the entire time (which may not seem like a big deal, but its been pretty hard).
I have no intention of breaking it, but an issue has come up and I'm not sure how to approach it.
I have a social event coming up in a few days with about 20 close friends including the ex, and its a dinner, so no real way to avoid her. I want to go because we are giving a group gift to a friend who just recovered from a severe illness.
I'm not sure how to play this one. Obviously I don't want to look like I'm avoiding it because of her, but I'm not really "over" things to the point where I can pretend this whole thing still isn't bothering me. This would be our first time seeing each other or speaking since the break up. I have no intention of trying to re-kindle anything, but its just a question of
a) how to act, and b) not undoing all the progress I've made so far.
So its going on a little over 6 weeks since the end of this LTR and I've maintained NC the entire time (which may not seem like a big deal, but its been pretty hard).
I have no intention of breaking it, but an issue has come up and I'm not sure how to approach it.
I have a social event coming up in a few days with about 20 close friends including the ex, and its a dinner, so no real way to avoid her. I want to go because we are giving a group gift to a friend who just recovered from a severe illness.
I'm not sure how to play this one. Obviously I don't want to look like I'm avoiding it because of her, but I'm not really "over" things to the point where I can pretend this whole thing still isn't bothering me. This would be our first time seeing each other or speaking since the break up. I have no intention of trying to re-kindle anything, but its just a question of
a) how to act, and b) not undoing all the progress I've made so far.
If you can, go with a good looking woman and be everyones friend, be polite to the ex, keep the dialogue to the bare bones, polite, curteous but avoid any talk of you two, missing her and sh!te, if she asks how you are, you smile and say " m absolutely fine as Im sure you are" then move along
The good-looking woman route is out as its a private thing. The rest is solid advice.betheman said:If you can, go with a good looking woman and be everyones friend, be polite to the ex, keep the dialogue to the bare bones, polite, curteous but avoid any talk of you two, missing her and sh!te, if she asks how you are, you smile and say " m absolutely fine as Im sure you are" then move along
its all you can do, you avoid it you lose respect from others, they will be watching, do not overdo it, try and remain composed and natural, any talk of you and her, smile and move the subject along.ayava said:The good-looking woman route is out as its a private thing. The rest is solid advice.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
to be honest, who gives a sh!t about how you act, really.ayava said:a) how to act, and b) not undoing all the progress I've made so far.
I mean, you 2 are done. You still have some residual feelings as is normal and human. But, its all meaningless, its just pointless.
Just go, try to have a nice time, acknowlege to yourself that you feel a little fvcked up over her still and carry on like a normal human being. I really wouldnt "try" to be anything in particular, you're not fooling anyone anyway.
Thats all.