"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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LR: Sarging in Podunk, Idaho

abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
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Location
Oslo, Norway
I'm in Idaho for my stepmother's funeral. She was a great woman, and she touched all of our lives very deply. She will be missed.
However, for the rest of us, life goes on.
Yesterday evening, a few days after the funeral, I was bored. I don't head out until tomorrow, and I needed some exercise. No problem, I'll just head out to some store that's open and get some quick socializing done. Except, every store around here closes at 7pm. I didn't want to go home just yet, so I kept walking down the major highway here. Finally, I find a few stores that are open: Hollywood video, jack in the box, mcdonalds, and wal mart, all in the same area. I go into the Hollywood Video, try opening a set. It doesn't go anywhere, and I'm nowhere close to in-state. I head to the Wal-mart. Wander around a bit, and see two people on the Rock Band demo, about to leave. I challenge the woman to another song, and proceed to have a good time. Turns out they're brother and sister. The song's done, I wander off, and so do they.

Wait. Let's at least get some conversation under my belt.

They've almost left the store, I run to catch them, and talk about how it's impossible to find any stores open, what do they do for fun, etc. Apparently I was right, there's not a whole lot to do around here.

A quick note on how I do approaches:
In recent months I've moved away from canned material. As long as I don't really focus too much on what I say, I do okay. Unfortunately, this means I don't really remember much of it, either. For example, all I can remember about this sarge is that she was constantly giggling at what I said. Even when I was just talking about there being nothing to do here.

Anyhow, we get to talking, it turns out they're brother and sister, and we have a lot in common. I talk about where I'm from, and am playful whenever possible (I really wish I could remember some of the stuff I said). I had them walk with me around the store, we talked some more about really nerdy stuff that she was into as well. Bleach, Stargate SG-1, Smash Brothers Brawl... cool. And of course, I was playful the whole time. Teasing her, misinterpreting what she said, making up random stuff, giving her crap for not remembering my name even though I never told her what it was, stuff like that.

One thing I remember is when we finally exchanged names and shook hands, I held on to her hand for a few seconds longer, then pretended to realize I was still holding her hand before throwing it away.
Her response: "That was smooth."
My response: None. I ignored what she said and kept talking about my own thing. ^_^
Anyhow, she's dropping extremely subtly hints such as "I like you" and "I'm single." Since they were talking about all the video game systems she owns, I suggested heading over to their place, ostensibly to play video games. She calls up her mother, who vetos the idea. So she suggests we go to a motel.

Huh? o_O

While I'm reeling, she tells me she wouldn't expect anything from me in the way of a relationship, eliminating any doubt as to what she was talking about. I manage to choke out a reply, we drop her brother off and pick up her video games (we never got around to playing them. ^_^), and head to a motel.

We get there, she sets up the computers to download a WOW expansion pack off the motel wifi, and then we get to business. Plenty of foreplay, I blow my load earlier than I thought I would, so I try to manually stimulate her. I'm not quite able to make her come, but she was definitely having trouble breathing through most of it.

We take a shower together before snuggling in bed, which is definitely one of my favorite parts of this lifestyle (besides, you know, the sex.)
Later on that evening, I have her get me off manually (one thing just sort of led to another, you know how it is). I'm loving it, but after about 15 minutes her arms get tired. I finish the job, which takes me longer than I thought it would, and definitely longer than I would have if it had been her all the way. As punishment, I come over her stomach.
She enjoys it.
Go figure.
We clean up, there's more snuggling, and after we keep distracting each other with random talk for several hours, we finally fall asleep.
Good times.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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