Low IL, Then POOF! High IL?!

[DharmaBear]

A while back I posted about a girl I work with who I got a bad case of oneitis for. Since then (about 8 months ago) I've been scouring this site and am now officially a RAFC. I spend at least a little time each day honing some DJ skill. And even though I see her everyday at work, my oneitis has faded fast. It's been great!

Problem: Recently she's been showing more interest in me. Eight months ago I asked her one a date as an AFC, and I thought there was High IL - I actually asked her on two different occasions, but was let down both times. Nicely, but let down nonetheless.

Up until two weeks ago she's shown signs here and there of High IL, but not enough. I've learned form Anit-Dump's posts that she should be Next'd, because without High IL she should immediately be left behind.

Now the last two weeks the IL has really gone up: light kino, lots of EC, sharing of personal information, more questions asked, personal e-mails at work, etc.

As a budding DJ I think I should make a move on this, but I'M AFRAID OF FALLING BACK INTO ONEITIS! That was THE worst feeling I've EVER had, and though I'm stronger now I am still not a full-fledged DJ, and therefore might be susceptible to the dreaded "O" word.

Any suggestions?

-Dharma

 

[DJ_Dork]

Do what you feel like doing. If you want to protect your heart and not do anything (like a make a movie) It's up to you. Girls always know when a guy likes her and she will make a move on herself to ease her own emotional tension.

 

[Six-String Samurai]

One-itis is strong, but it's not otherworldly.... in otherwords, you won't magically be brainwashed back to the way you were ever again, if you don't let yourself. Now that you are an RAFC, you will not succumb to the level of depravity to which you were once enslaved no matter how much you like this girl. Your post is coherent and well written, which tells me that you are intelligent and probably fairly thoughtful... enough so that I have faith that you'll be just fine. Continue studying the DJ way, my brother, and good luck.

 

[jakeyboy]

girls like men to like them. so maybe she has figured you sorta lost interest in her, and is now leading you on with all this sudden high interest, only to step on you again... these women are **** teasers... this is just my assumption though, my bro's got lots of **** teasers at his workplace.. seems they have nothnig better to do. i would advice you to ask her out... but be prepared for the worst buddy.. be glad if she accepts your invitation, but if she doesn't then its alright... you weren't expecting it anyway.

 

[Bonhomme]

Think of what one-itis means

The easiest way to cure one-itis is simply to seduce more than one. it appears you're learning well enough that you've not set your sights exclusively on this gal, right?

 

[DharmaBear]

Thanks for your advice, guys. She's generally a very nice girl to everyone, and very, very rarely says or does a bad thing to anyone. So...I would be surprised if she is showing high IL again for no other reason than to just to step on me once more.

Has anyone else had this experience, where a girl with low IL for a long time suddenly (and I mean suddenly) starts exhibiting high IL without you initiating anything?

I've been rolling with it, with lots of EC, light kino, etc. Her IL percentage is definitely going up. Probably at 65% now and climbing (just to use an arbitrary number). She couldn't get enough of me today at work.

My plan is to wait a few more days, and see if this trend continues. It's all too sudden for me to believe she NOW wants me out of nowhere and didn't before.

I find it strange. I'd love to hear other stories if anyone has 'em.


-Dharma

 

[jakeyboy]

yeah well, this is specific for my case only so... here goes.

as i said earlier... i kinda lost interest in her because she said she didnt want to ruin anything between us, and suddenly within the next few weeks she was rubbing up to me and kinoing me, telling me how sexy i looked.

this was in my ultimate AFC days, so i fell for the trap... i asked her out. then of course you can guess what she said," i thought i told you i didnt wanna ruin the friendship we have now? why are you asking me again?"

i gave her a pissed off look and swore never to talk to her again.

she's a c*ck teaser.

 

[MrCode]

My opinion is that a normal, nice, genuine woman can and will gain interest in a man that she sees changing in a positive way. Once you were a supplicating AFC, now you are on the path to DJ, and she can no doubt sense the change. Approach the situation with the mind of a DJ, ask her out, and if she declines, oh well, at least you now know for sure. Having doubt about "the one that got away" is much worse than rejection, believe me.

 

[TurboLover]

Watch out for this one. She knows you like her from your past attemps. She may just be stroking her ego.

You work at her work so your conveinent to tease. If your going to give one more shot, then you can't ask her out formally.

You should go about it like, "hey, I am heading over to ....., would you like to join me?" or "I am going to ....., and your welcome to come." To her it will sound like it won't make or break you with her answer.

If she is interested then she will go. If she doesn't then she is just mind f-cking you.

In any other case I would just make a move when she was kinoing you. But your at work so you need to make your move somewhere else. Act don't tell.

Your a grown man I don't need to tell you about the company pen and ink thing.