ahh, welcome to your quarter life crisis. hehe.
they talk about a mid life crisis, but some people (im one of them) are prone to once a decade crisises. hehe.
heres the problem. because of television and movies we are led to believe that our lives must become SPECTACULAR. that our lives, when we finally accomplish everything, must be tantamount to that of a rock star (but on a smaller scale).
the reality is that for most people (id say a good 80+%) we are victims of our fates. we dont control what we look like, we can't control how naturally intelligent we are, we dont really control what our proclivities are in terms of personality, we can't control where we are born, we can't control the people that surround us in childhood and who help form our understanding of life, etc.
yes, you can IMPROVE each of those areas a bit through hard work. You can elevate your natural intelligence by studying hard, you can better your physical appearance by working out - but at best all you can do is hit the upper range of your natural limitations!
this guy that you talk about - you have NO clue what kind of life he was born in to, what kind of personality he has, etc. which makes him able to do what hes doing.
for most people though the barrier to accomplishing their dreams is money. it costs money to pay the rent, tuition, etc. - you can only do it for so long before you're massively in debt. trust me, personally i think having the money to accomplish something is 90% of the game. whether that be having the cash, having hte contacts with the cash, or whatever. having the ideas, ambition and motivation are important, no question, but i know LOTS of guys who if you gave them a million bucks would do some pretty phenomenal things - but they aren't able to do so while busting their *sses at jobs they hate.
what you are going through is VERY common. I'm going through it myself ironically. im 32, have been working successful for the past 5 years at my chosen profession, making 6 figures a year. but part of me is now wondering if im wasting my time. but when i think about what i could 'do' which wouldn't be a waste of my time i'm hard pressed to find an answer.
philosophically this is referred to as existential angst - and it never goes away (kind of like herpes, it flares up now and then).
no matter how successful you are, there is always someone more successful that you can look at and devalue what you have. you could be an anchor on CNN but deep down always wanted to be a famous celebrity. you might make 100k, but then you see some guy who makes 2million a year and wonder 'why him and not me?"
the truth of the matter is that some people are just born to win the lottery. now i know im goign to get flamed for saying that. people are going to blast me with 'its all about how hard you work.' that's bs, and any success person who is honest will tell you its bs. yes, you always have to work hard, but monumental success ALWAYS depends on luck and opportunity. sure, successful people put themselves in a position to be lucky, but for every 1 person that becomes a successful film producer, actor, politician, etc. - there are hundreds of people who did the exact same things they did but didn't succeed.
anyway, there are plenty of people in the world who would look at you, probably, and think you have it good. most people in the world are starving, live in harsh conditions, are diseased, etc. its only because we have it so easy here in the west that we get 'bored' and long for excitment - but we can't figure out how to make that excitment happen. even worse, our concept of 'excitment' is totally unrealistic and based on fictional sitcoms and movies.
for most people life is a routine out of necessity - they have to pay the bills, they don't have the time or means to pursue their dreams. they accept those limitations and live with them and then one day die.
id even go so far as to argue that only in manufacturered mediums like movies and music videos is life ever a 'constant party'. i mean, look at cobain. the guy had everything. he was loaded, about as famous as you could get, could do whatever he wanted, had a hot wife, etc. - yet the dude goes and blows his brains out.
look at anna nicole smith. about as hot as you can get, could probably p ick and choose from hundreds of young uber rich tycoons if she wanted - ultimately lead a life of pain and misery and then died from an accidental overdose.
life is tough. and just because we have a marketing machine called hollywood that makes it all look glamourous and dramatic - it ain't!
more often than not its routine, boring, time consuming, and dysfunctional. no career will fix that. hehe.
so my long winded advice to you is to stop makign one of the biggest mistakes a person can make - wishing to be someone else! its a horrible mistake to make - because you dont truly KNOW that other person.
my advice to you is to forget the world even exists. just stop and think about what would you be excited to be doing in the world. maybe its joining the red cross and helping people all over the world. maybe its joining the army and killing people all over the world. maybe its joining the army, killing people, then joining the red cross and fixing them.
if you find that ultimately you don't want to work and you just want to make movies, well thats a bit of a problem, because not working means no money. and its hard to make movies with no money (at least movies anyone would care to watch).
and as for going back to school at 26. you know, this is YOUR life and you should do whatever the hell you want for it. schools are there for ANYONE that wants to learn something.
i doubt any of this has helped you much, but my key points are:
1) don't get too down in the dumps - 80+% of the world feels the way you do.
2) figure out what you really really really would enjoy doing in life, then find a way to do it. and if you can't afford to do it, then find a way to get the money together to afford it. and if you can't do that, then find a second, third or fourth passion that maybe is feasible.
