loss of motivation-natural bachelor?

[Lingham]

Do any of you guys ever just lose the motivation to pursue women? I often do. I see an attractive women, talk to her a bit but I just go in my head, "feck it!" I don't have the time or energy for this romance game. Dates, conversation, expectations, etc . . etc. . . Can't be bothered you know. Of course I'd go for a quick shag and some non-commital conversation anytime. But not the whole fecking girlfriend/boyfriend game.

Maybe I just haven't met any worthwhile women in a while. Maybe I'm just a natural born celibate. I've got many other interests in life. I just can't be bothered to pursue women. I've allowed that "falling in love" (obssessing) thing ot happen in the past and it has been just too stressfull and idiotic. I'm a sensible guy, I'm not gonna let myself get strung out over a chick.

Is there a cure for this nonchalence? Or is it even a problem to begin with?

 

[AlwaysExcel]

I really hear ya on this! For me, lack of motivation is one part being comfortable with my life, one part being really busy, one part laziness, and one part making too much of a big deal out of the romance process (fear from overthinking). My motivation actually comes from feeling like I am less of a man if I don't master this part of my life. We humans are sexual and emotional beings. If I have no control over potentially fulfilling these needs, then I am incomplete.

It's not that a woman would complete me. I can get myself off better than most women I know! I don't want to get married and I am having too much fun with this game to have a steady GF right now. If I had a GF, I would feel that I didn't get a chance to fully explore and develop my PU skills. I just feel incomplete if I am powerless over a certain part of my life. I want to at least have the potential to get laid, get a GF, or get married IF and WHEN I want it. To me, this pursuit is all about personal power.

 

[Lingham]

Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
I really hear ya on this! For me, lack of motivation is one part being comfortable with my life, one part being really busy, one part laziness, and one part making too much of a big deal out of the romance process (fear from overthinking). My motivation actually comes from feeling like I am less of a man if I don't master this part of my life. We humans are sexual and emotional beings. If I have no control over potentially fulfilling these needs, then I am incomplete.

Well you probably just about nailed the reasons. But here is maybe the biggest. I have absolutly no interest in ever raising a family or living a householder lifestyle. And I'm not just some kid saying that. I'm 24. I know kids say "I"M never gonna get married" all the time, all my married and pregnant siblings said just that. Anyways I think some women have a 6th sense about that fact they can tell I'm not family raising material. Bleh I just think too much!

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Hehe! I'm 25! The way I see it, why waste your 20s and even early 30s being tied down in a relationship. These are the years to explore the world and enjoy being young!!

I doubt women avoid you because they sense you do not want to settle down. These dudes are exactly the types that women want to TAME and domesticate. Women just probably sense your sexual neutrality toward them or lack of dating ambition.

 

[dietzcoi]

If you already know you are NOT the marriage and family type, then DON'T GET MARRIED

I am not the type either, but I did it, due to many reasons... all wrong.

I suffered for 15 years of it.

It sucks.. all this children, zoos, playgrounds, kindergarten, etc,e tec

I do not know how I survived it. Man was I AFC!

Don't do it. Be free to live a man's existence!

Dietzcoi

 

[High Voltage]

Lingham,

I don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm sure we all loose our motivation periodically and for various lengths of time. Having no desire to persue chicks gives us time to relax and focus on other things in our life - a nice break if you will.

You say you don't want to persue women you think aren't worthy? What is wrong with this? Why would you persue them? It is perfectly logical to not persue any women if you don't know any that are worth persuing... make sense?

I get apathetic to the whole dating game as well, but I no longer look at it as a process or as work. I only do it if its fun. However, the only way I got to the stage where I can view the whole game as fun is through dating lots of girls in the past and just *knowing* if I screw things up this time another girl will come along. You just have to not worry about the outcome too much.

See the girl as a person you can have fun with, not *just* another puzzy you can screw.

I used to think eternal bachelorhood was the answer for me. I really value my freedom, can get myself off really well, and love being able to go into a club and grind with random chicks. However, I know some single guys in their 40s and it is not where I want to be at that age.

My motivation now is practice for the right girl later, the girl I will share my life with. When the time comes that I want to get married, I want to be able to pick up that right girl, and I want it to be fun.

- HV

 

[WestCoaster]

I've been there

For a span of three years I had no motivation. I lived in one mid-sized town and one metro city with lots of ugly women (Portland, Oregon -- full of granolas, dykes, and goths). My attempts in both towns ended up with dud dates, shutdowns, or just plain bad experiences.

I gave up.

Which was a horrible thing to do because I lost confidence and needed polish.

Dating is like baseball: You need to get a lot of at-bats to become a good hitter. You need a lot of dates to become comfortable.

But I hear ya, I was in a routine big time and it didn't involve women. I wasn't unhappy, I just wasn't doing anything with my social life. It's best just to force yourself out there.

 

[Chemistry]

Who's talkin about romancin her takin her everywhere and the rest...

We're talkin about runnin game on these women and gettin one thing from them, somethin which you can do with a quickness on a lot... I'm talkin 10 minutes of seein her in the club, 5 minutes taxi ride, and couple minutes while she gets changed before I'm gettin some.. no romancin etc etc there, spin a couple lines, look and move the part, and get some

The whole settlin down is only one side of the coin...

Now on the other hand if you don't want sex either then do you... the idea is to be happy with what you're doin, so if you're happy without a woman and doin you then do that... the only time I ever warn against it would be those people who kid themselves that they don't need a woman cos they're just unsuccessfu; with 'em, and know inside that they do want some...

 

[Lingham]

thanx for the usefull replies guys. Good point about having fun and not doing it if it seems like work. I figure once i'm less busy with animation school other career stuff I'll get back into it. There aren't many girls at my school where I spend most of my time. They make up less than a quarter of the students and a lot of them are kind of geeky. Only about 3-4 girls in my whole school do i find attractive. Not too many chicks go for animation industry yet.

Last poster may have a point too about how maybe I'm just afraid of not being successfull with them. I don't have a great track record.

D