Loser friends?

[Alex DeLarge]

Anyone else on this board have a social circle of semi-loser friends? I don't necessarily think my friends are complete losers, a lot of them are pretty intelligent and observant.. But a few of them have their own issues to battle such as...

-constantly getting fired from jobs due to being bad employees which results in being broke all the time (IE: no money to have fun with)

-drinking and drug problems, they just smoke WAY too much weed. I'm okay with smoking weed ocassionally, but they smoke to the point where they can't do anything without being stoned. They also get drunk every day.

-no ambition to do anything with their lives other than work a sh1tty job (if they have one) that will just pay the bills and other expenses.

Today 4 of them asked if I wanted to hit up the mall tonight, so I said "Yeah sure if you guys can throw me $10 in gas" (Now this is only $2.50 per person). Then my friend called me up and said that none of them have enough money.. Really bro? You're 22 years old and you don't have $2.50? Maybe you should go job hunting instead of shopping...

Just felt like ranting about this.. I really get sorta pissed when I see my friends at this age still pulling the same **** I did when I was 14.. (Not having a job, car, responsibility) Post your stories if you got them guys!

 

[Voice]

I met a lot of good people to hang out with when I went away to college. I don't know if you went to school or not, but college is the best place to find people who have their heads screwed on right.

 

[element0]

Definitely, but in recent months I've moved away from hanging with the semi-loser ones, and focused more on hanging out with the successful ones. Luckily, I didn't have to change social circles completely, I just started hanging out more with the people who were on the outside of my old social circle.

The first step is realizing it, once you realize it, you'll move away from them naturally.

 

[TheJazz]

You chose who your friends are, you know? If you're really unhappy because of them, it's entirely your own fault. If I were you, I'd try to get them to improve. If they fail to, I'd get a new set of friends. Bada bing, bada boom!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I met a lot of good people to hang out with when I went away to college. I don't know if you went to school or not, but college is the best place to find people who have their heads screwed on right.

I met plenty of interesting people when I went to school, however I lived outside the neighborhood most of my classmates lived in and did not hang out with them very often. I eventually dropped out of school because I realized that I did not have much passion for the subject I was studying (Although I still maintained a 3.2 GPA).

I'm contemplating going back to school to study fine art, but the tuition costs are so incredibly expensive. I would rather just find personal mentors than go for the actual degree. I actually discussed this matter with my friends before and they just have ignorant responses such as..

"Art school is stupid"
"Why? You all ready dropped out of school you're gonna go back"

Sh1t conversaton like this just seems like a waste of breath to me. If any of my friends ever talked to me about pursuing college I would encourage it 110%. But instead they just sh1t on the idea. I personally think our college educational system is very fvcked up at the moment, but learning valuable information and applying it for self fulfillment is priceless to me. Apparently not to these guys haha.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

You chose who your friends are, you know? If you're really unhappy because of them, it's entirely your own fault. If I were you, I'd try to get them to improve. If they fail to, I'd get a new set of friends. Bada bing, bada boom!

Not necessarily unhappy with my friends, they're really fun to be around.. But they can just be very nihilistic.

I should probably find more optimistic friends though hah.

 

[Borknagar]

I know how it is all too well. I had this conversation with a friend with was 27 at the time a couple years ago, when I was offering to help him get into my work:
Me: Dude we're hiring, just keep yourself free from weed for a month and come apply.
him: What? Dude **** man, it's not worth it man.
Me: Are you serious? You can't stay sober for a month?
him: If they're gonna test me It's not worth it man.


Needless to say I don't hang out with him any more.

Seriously, I don't know HOW many people I tried to help get them into my job, which pays pretty good for requiring that you graduated high school.

One of them just had a kid, and would rather make $8 a hour at a restaurant.

Another is fat and lazy and always complains about knee problems, yet wants to go to school for automotive.

Seriously, do people even think about responsibility?

I don't know how many people make stupid irresponsible choices in life. Like the ones having kids. Everyone I know how ends up having a kid is someone who's already broke as ****. No one I know is makin decent cash is even considering kids at this point.

I used to have a friend who didn't have a job for years, he just collected social security living at his moms getting high all the time, and getting fat as ****, yet wondered why chicks didn't like him, and always complained about life.

And it seems some people when they actually do wanna work, apply for the crappiest low pay jobs they can find. I keep telling people to stop applying at ****ty $8 an hour fast food, gas station, etc jobs. No one over 22 should be applying unless as a last resort. Cashier jobs that serve the public aren't the only jobs out there.


I also used to be into the metal scene, now that is loser central. Like some of the music and all but seriously, every show is a damn sausage fest, mosh pits are a very homosexual activity, guys care more about their go nowhere band than they do about jobs and careers, 75% of them are druggies.

Until the last year or so MOST of the people I knew didn't have a car, their own place(they lived with parents) or even a decent job. That's pretty ****ed up when you're in your early 30s. It's ok to be kind of a slacker in your early 20s, finding yourself, and still being like a teenager a bit. But there comes a time you need to pull your head out of your ass.

 

[sexysuave]

Just curious, why were you asking them for $10? That's kinda odd.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Just curious, why were you asking them for $10? That's kinda odd.

Because we all wanted to go up to the mall, but I would have been driving. So I figured it would be fair that they pool together $10 for gas expenses. I usually just pay for gas on my own because I don't usually care, but I've been tight on money these past few days.

 

[Upside]

I met a lot of good people to hang out with when I went away to college. I don't know if you went to school or not, but college is the best place to find people who have their heads screwed on right.

Really?... At least in my experience I have a different opinion and I don't go to some Generic State University. Most of the kids I know who have access to cars and live where they do because of strong family support and tend to take advantage of the fact. I live in a cheap ass place and I rely heavily on public transportation. My folks are helping me enough, I don't need a lot of the fancy amenities.

 

[Voice]

Really?... At least in my experience I have a different opinion and I don't go to some Generic State University. Most of the kids I know who have access to cars and live where they do because of strong family support and tend to take advantage of the fact. I live in a cheap ass place and I rely heavily on public transportation. My folks are helping me enough, I don't need a lot of the fancy amenities.

I actually do go to a big D1 state university. In a way they are advantageous to small schools. There are sooo many different types of people so you have a huge selection of people to make friends with. The majority of the people are intelligent and in my opinion more mature and nicer than high school. Join clubs, fraternities, play intramurals etc and you'll make friends easily. Also dorm life gives you a huge advantage over those who commute to school. Coed dorms are the sh1t. In my experience you make the closest friends your freshman year in your dorms. I also take public transportation, luckily it's provided by our school. Currently I'm living in my fraternity's house which is absolutely sick. Can't wait for our parties this year. I LOVE college life and I'm going into my senior year. I DO NOT want to graduate.

 

[European-DJ]

That is a luxury issue compared to my social circle!

In europe gas prices are HUGE atm, 2½$/L, and i am the only one in my social circle who has a car. I have no problem using it and borrowing it, but i spend just about 100-200$ pr. month on gas with my friends (decent money when taking in consideration my age), when i ask for as much as 20% of the trip coverd, everyone turns their heads ... It pisses me off..

Next to that, they all seem to have it in their moth. "I hit her, and her and ...." Even though, when we hit the clubs, they sit ALL-night long with their Jack D. & Cola in the corner, sipping it like pvssy's not approaching anything - at anytime whatsoever.

Next to that, no one seem to have a job, and their ambition level is below a 2-year old childs..

They are really pulling my strings...

Okay, this was me raging a bit ..

 

[REPEM]

Yeah I had a loser friend. I got sick of his **** so I stopped talking to him.

He works a dead end job that pays crap money. He's 28 and still lives at home. I tell him he should move out and live a little, but he's like "nahh".


He has 60 friends on facebook, yet he updates his status 3+ times EVERY day. Um, who the **** are you announcing your status to? He's obviously just looking for attention and reeks of it.


He finds the BOTTOM OF THE BARREL type girls on plentyoffish and gets oneitis. Girls that are like 2/10's. It's disgusting. and he's a decent enough looking guy. Out of shape, but he could probably get in really good shape in 2 months at the gym but he has no motivation or effort.

I invite him to work out but he never comes. He never leaves his home city to go to bars unless its to visit some pig from POF.


He's the type of guy who's frustrated and disappointed with life but doesnt do anything to help or change his situation.

Sorry for ranting but as you can see I'm obviously annoyed with this loser friend! I had to cut the dead weight.

 

[sexysuave]

I dunno dude, I'd never ask my buddies for money because I'm driving somewhere lol. But that's just me. Oh let's go to the mall, dish out the gas money,, I mean it's whatever, I just dont' personally agree with it. Plus you ragged on them for not having money to do 'anything fun", yet you need a $10 to go to the mall with them lol, just sayin man..

Originally posted by Vice
I actually do go to a big D1 state university. In a way they are advantageous to small schools. There are sooo many different types of people so you have a huge selection of people to make friends with. The majority of the people are intelligent and in my opinion more mature and nicer than high school. Join clubs, fraternities, play intramurals etc and you'll make friends easily. Also dorm life gives you a huge advantage over those who commute to school. Coed dorms are the sh1t. In my experience you make the closest friends your freshman year in your dorms. I also take public transportation, luckily it's provided by our school. Currently I'm living in my fraternity's house which is absolutely sick. Can't wait for our parties this year. I LOVE college life and I'm going into my senior year. I DO NOT want to graduate.

Ha ha, I also went to a big D1 state university and had the same experience. I absolutely freaking loved it!! You're spot on about everything, it's sooooo easy to make friends, pull girls, go to parties, I mean it's ridiculous. High school was fun and all, but mannnnn, when I went to college I was like yessss lol, this is the sh*t!! Ahhh, I'll just leave it at that, I dont' want you getting me depressed now or anything!! lol Enjoy your last year dude!! Make it count!! I'm jealous!!

PS. Also totally agree with you on joining all sorts of clubs, sooo easy to meet just tons and tons of people, and you guys do ish together, and chances are, you'll end up nailing chicks from each club you join lol,,, mannnn ok I'm gonna stop now,, Funny how years fly, I can remember it like it was yesterday!!

 

[IShotTheSheriff]

It does not matter what they do with their lives - its the attitude thowards you that counts.

If someone threats me with respect, is friendly, reliable and fun to be with I dont care if he is just lazy and does not have a job. I call this guy one of my friends.

If some guy never calls me back, is unreliable, and threats me like he does not care about me I dont care how successfull he is or how much money he has I wouldnt spend my time with him or call him my friend.

 

[GhostWriter]

Birds of a feather, flock together. If you keep hanging around losers, you're going to do loser tendencies.

If you are constantly hanging around successful people, their actions will influence and rub off of you. They may indirectly teach you things that you may never have even thought of that will lead to a successful life.

If you hang around losers doing nothing productive, then you will be a loser yourself.

So ditch your loser friends, because people also view you by the people you surround yourself with.

This forum constantly talks about raising your value, well hanging around losers is going to lower it.

Also don't let anyone give you a guilt trip or a moral dilemma about being a crappy person for dropping your loser friends despite how long you've known them/experiences/etc...

You've got to look out for number 1.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

The only reason I asked them for gas money is because they suggested it, and I'm tight on money this weekend because business slowed down a lot at my work. I never usually do this unless a long trip has been planned. Usually I'm not this stingy lol.