"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Looking for a solution...

thebestthing

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Sup DJ's, I'm a bit lost in my situation here and I know I made some mistakes, but I need some solutions to fix them.

So there was this cute girl that seemed to have an interest in me these past two weeks. The problem is I think I put a bit too much pressure on her; I heard from someone that she said I had been 'getting annoying.' I was direct and asked her about it and she said its' because I've been talking to her too much.

Now, I have read the DJ bible and I can see where I screwed up. This girl was showing definite interest in me, but she's never had a boyfriend. There's a guy a year older than us that plans on asking her out this week, and she's told me she was going to say yes.

My question, is there anything I can do in this situation? Should I be direct and tell her what's going on? Or should I just create distance?

Thanks peeps.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Analyzeit

Senior Don Juan
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I really don't know if other guys get the same as me so i'll hope they'll post about my post.

But here goes...

Every girl that has been actually interested in me always wants to talk to me and most of the time wants me to be with her.

In my experience, she pretty much told you not to talk to her.

You've lost her man, too late
 

jeffthechef

Master Don Juan
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i think analyze is right
consider it: if you were a silly little girl who was boy crazy...and the guy of your dreams was always talking to you..wouldn't you be happy?

HOWEVER

there is a slight possibility that she is INDEED interested...but you DID overtalk...in this case though, her interest level isn't as high as you might like..but there is some

...now taking into accountt he older guy...your chances are slim now if he does...girls love going for older guys even for no ****ing reason sometimes...
to be safe, i would give her space this week, talk to her only when she's nearby and you don't have to go out of your way...AND when you do talk, ask her questions..let her do all the talking...but keep it to that limit this week...if by chance he doesn't ask her....you are in a better situation with her..but make sure you update...don't follow one read forever..
 

Igetit!

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Yeah,Analyzeit and Jeffthechef pretty much covered what went on here and how more than likely,you'll probably need to just move on. However,I'd like to drop in my two cents.

thebestthing said:
So there was this cute girl that seemed to have an interest in me these past two weeks. The problem is I think I put a bit too much pressure on her; I heard from someone that she said I had been 'getting annoying.' I was direct and asked her about it and she said its' because I've been talking to her too much.
Hmm,that's a first. A girl complaining about a guy talking too much? You say that you had been putting too much pressure on her. What do you mean by that? What were you saying to her that put her under pressure? I ask that because whatever it was you've been saying to her and whatever it was she was talking about when she said that you've been getting "annoying" are the same thing. It's good for you to back off for a while,but whenever you do start talking to her again,you'll need to avoid bringing up the subject that caused her to be annoyed with you in the first place. Otherwise,you'll just get on her nerves again.

thebestthing said:
There's a guy a year older than us that plans on asking her out this week, and she's told me she was going to say yes.
HUGE RED FLAG HERE. Some other guy plans on asking her out,and SHE TOLD YOU she's going to say yes?

Alright,question here: How did you two get into a conversation about her dating another guy? Nevermind you hearing about some guy who plans on asking her out. How did you end up talking to her about her dating other people?
That's a one-way ticket to the friendzone my friend. The LAST THING you should be talking about with a girl you like is her dating other people. That's what girls do with their girlfriends. If you've been talking to her about other guys instead of the possibility of you two dating,and you've been doing this for a while,then morethan likely,it's lights out dude. It's over.

thebestthing said:
My question, is there anything I can do in this situation?
Well,if you're in the friendzone,then no. It's over with. However,if you're not there yet,then the first thing you need to do is STAY AWAY FROM HER FOR A WHILE. Now don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm NOT SAYING to give her the silent treatment. If she speaks to you,then fine,you can talk to her about school,or whatever subject she brings up. Or just ask her what she's been up to.....BUT DON'T start back talking to her the way you used to,and DON'T bring up the topics that caused her to get annoyed with you. Also,don't talk to her as much as you used to. Speak a little while,then leave....EVEN IF she tries to get you to hang out a little longer with her. Do all of this if she approaches you to talk to you first. But if she doesn't,then you just go about your business. Laugh,talk,and enjoy yourself with your other friends,and let her see you enjoying yourself. If you two are about to pass each other in the hall,then say hi/what's up. If she stops for a second,then you can talk to her briefly,then move on. What will happen is she'll start to wonder why you know longer give her all the attention you once did.

thebestthing said:
Should I be direct and tell her what's going on?
NO.

thebestthing said:
Or should I just create distance?
Do this,but do it the way I told you. Don't just get quiet and completely ignore her,or walk by her not saying anything if she speaks to you. She'll know something's up and think you're mad or something.
 
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