Long Term Relationships

[Eternal]

"Long Term Relationship." I'm sure most of you guys will laugh and go "LTR? Eternal, you are freaking nuts! I'll never get into one of THOSE!" Laugh if you must. Now leave (get out) . This is for the people out there who want one or have one and want to make it better. I'll say somethings I've done and been told. This is NOT to brag, but to say "hey, I've done it and it works. Might be worth a try."

There are a few things that are very important to a Long Term Relationship:

* Communication: Honestly guys, that whole "mysterious" bit...Yeah, it works, but if a female doesn't feel comfortable around you, that'll be more work for you and things won't be as great. I don't mean tell her your life story, but the whole "I know everything about you but you only know my name" is not gonna work.

* Spontanious: My girl loves the fact that I don't follow a set pattern. Just the other night while she was on the computer, I got up, started kissing her neck, pulled her up, and...Well, she didn't get back to the computer for a few hours. Now of course, I don't do that all the time, but it is GREAT to be a little crazy and "non-standard." Nothing is more fun.

* Romance: Yes, learn how to be romantic. It is NOT that hard. The other night was me and my girls 6 months. What all did I do to make it great? Dressed up nicely (I usually wear jeans and t's. This time, I was looking good and did my hair.) Took her to a place we haven't gone to together before (Chili's.) Then came back here and had some vanillia candles flickering and some massage oil (the kind you can get at Spencers.) Total cost: $50; Look on her face the entire night: Priceless. You don't have to spend a lot or do a lot to be romantic. Less = More.

* Caring: Guys, when you are with your girl, you can just KNOW something is up. I ask my girl "you ok?" every so often. Why? Because stuff is piling up for her recently. If you know your girls life is getting tough, acting all mysterious and like a jerk isn't gonna help. Remember: You'll feel bad at some point and wouldn't you like it if she cared? I thought so.

* The Parents: You'll have to deal with them at some point. How you are percieved by them is vital. If they don't like you, they'll try and break you two up. If they like you...Whew, the feeling is great. Treat them like humans. Look like yourself, be yourself, and they'll like you more. If you try too hard, they'll notice.

* Gifts: Yes, gifts are important. No, I don't mean huge gifts that are expensive as hell. Little things are great. Stuff she likes is great. Talk to your girl, find out what she likes. Remember that. Write it down if needbe. I knew my girl likes Care Bears. Got her one for our anniv. To say she was happy woulddn't be enough. If your girl says she likes a certain animal, get a stuffed animal of it. Not those GIANT ones you see at the Fair. Those little 1 foot tall ones for $5-10 in stores work perfectly. Shop around too and don't think more expensive is great. It IS the thought that counts. Go to the mall and find those carts that are around. They have great stuff for cheap and things that are great.

* Trust: Guys, this is a giant one. Learn to trust your girl. Learn to let her trust you. Don't be an ass and sleep around behind her back. If you are with her, STAY with her. Don't just break up with her to go sleep with someone else. That's just ball-less. Be a man. Take responsibility. If you can't, you don't deserve to be in an LTR. Also, if you are single, FIND SINGLE WOMEN! Don't be the ankle grabber that sleeps with another guys girl. If you resort to that, you are lower than a two. Single women are everywhere. If you aren't good enough to pick them up, then you suck.

* Be Yourself: When you are with your girl, you don't have to put on an act. If you are funny and a little shy, that's ok. You don't have to sit there and act bold. Be that little shy. She'll respect you more because you are being yourself. It's better to be dumped for being yourself and being comfortable than for being fake.

That is about it for now. Remember, you can make or break things. If your girl is bored, it's YOUR fault. Get up. Go out. Do stuff.

 

[penkitten]

patience = the art of holding your tongue and actions when the other person in the ltr does something stupid ....

 

[Desdinova]

There's a few things I'd like to add. Women respond very well to actions. Any kind or non-selfish act will be just as good as any gift. Run her a bath when she gets home from work. Cook her a dinner with her favorite dish. Combine the action with doing it spontaneously will make it even better.

Remember, romance is a seasoning to make the relationship better, not the main course. Would you like eating a plate full of salt with a few chunks of meat and corn? It's the same with a relationship. Trust, care, commitment, co-operation, and fun should be the main course. Season with a little bit of romance to make the relationship better.

Unpredicability also works well in the bedroom. When the two of you go in there, she shouldn't always be expecting the same position, the same foreplay, the same order of orgasm, or even orgasm itself. By all means, keep your favorite positions and methods but don't let it be the same all the time. Take some time to enjoy touching her body or give her a massage before sex.

When it comes to being yourself, you should have practiced all the self improvement enough that your personality has changed to the point where you don't have to worry about being confident or becoming a doormat. Confidence and self-respect should now be part of "being yourself".

 

[MetalFortress]

And also, make sure it is fun to be with her. My sister and her boyfriend are young, but watching their relationship has shown me that. They don't engage in stupid drama and aren't even all that mushy, they're always just screwing around, teasing each other, interrupting each other, and he even tells me new ideas on how to pick on her. You can really tell they are having fun though.

 

[penkitten]

when she has pms or is on the rag..... find a way to make her laugh. especially when she gets crabby... this will work wonders for you

 

[Wacky-1]

If I may, Eternal, I think these rules only apply to a relationship in its later stage. Most people usually screw up their relationships early on. I did, once, learnt from that and never looked back . Yeah, but I think all your points need to be SLOWLY implemented though. Thanks, those were some good tips man.

 

[Eternal]

Originally posted by Wacky-1
If I may, Eternal, I think these rules only apply to a relationship in its later stage. Most people usually screw up their relationships early on. I did, once, learnt from that and never looked back . Yeah, but I think all your points need to be SLOWLY implemented though. Thanks, those were some good tips man.

Well, yah...Hence the "LONG TERM" part of "long term relationship."

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

On the same topic, I would say you can't determine the longevity of a relationship. Even if you know you want to be exclusive with this one girl, it might be exclusivity for a week, a month, a year, or a life, but expecting to know that up front puts your fortune telling skills on par with a fortune-teller.

If you can do and keep the relationship cool for a short-term, then going longer will be an extension of that, as well as a test of your skills IN a relationship.

*Creativity
*Patience
*Communication

Up front, you're just testing each other, or interviewing each other, to see if there's any basis for further dating.

Another point...

Feel good when a woman makes a point to tell you something, even if it's out of anger. Alot of people make the mistake of becoming defensive. What for?

If a person takes the time to tell you how they feel, regardless of their delivery, generally speaking its because they care. When a person doesn't care, it's rare they'd take the time to tell you what they feel.

I've found it INFINITELY more powerful to maintain my calm almost 99% of the time, actually listen to what's been said, and devise a well-thought out retort, than attempt to stay toe to toe with the person as if we were jabbing each other in a ring. When some becomes so frustratingly not worth it, walk. Life isn't meant to be THAT hard.



Good post


A-Unit