"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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lol pawnage

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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J

Julius_Seizeher

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Ugh, you have to feel sorry for Britain. Maybe us Yanks should save them from the feminist hellpit they've dug themselves into.

She acted like talking down to a man was just part of doing business.

I want you men to punch a ***** in the face if she ever said that to you.
 
N

Noodles

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Julius_Seizeher said:
Ugh, you have to feel sorry for Britain. Maybe us Yanks should save them from the feminist hellpit they've dug themselves into.
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That's Australia, mate. Different country. Different hemisphere.
 
R

runner83

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Noodles said:
That's Australia, mate. Different country. Different hemisphere.
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Holy sh!t! Makes you realise how prevalent this sort of thing is. I'm attuned to noticing it, whereas a lot of other people don't.

Hard to tell from the clips, looks like a decent sort, probably a lot from the make up, maybe a bit thin....

Proper DJ response?:

"I wouldn't know, they're your t!ts not mine"

Just imagine the outcry if he'd said that!
 
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