"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Lift your comfort zones

Aware

Don Juan
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Your comfort zones are real, whether you want it or not. This fact is important, especially if you are beginning socializing with people. Going alone to clubs sounds intimidating for a newbie introvert, doesn't it?

Don't try to breach them. It takes great amount of mental effort to do that and your willpower may simply be too weak to forcefully breach a comfort zone.

Fortunately, there's a way to fix that. It's like with weight lifting - it's possible to press 100kg, but only with previous training. Your willpower is just like a muscle and can be trained.

Moving this analogy further, there are many comfort zones and each needs a specific "muscle group" training. For example being great at picking up chicks won't make you an ace at job interviews. Train each of your comfort zones, if you want to move your life further in those areas.

However just like weight lifting improves greatly your overall health, moving comfort zones improves your overall confidence and mental energy (power). Take small steps in many areas of your life and you will see noticeable changes in no time.

This is how to train a particular "muscle":
If you want go to clubs alone start by simply leaving your apartament at night. It may sound stupid, but it works. Next day or next week hang around places that are busy at night and observe people. Then talk to people around those places. Then go to bars and chat with bartenders. Then chat with people in bars. Woah, it's time to hit the clubs!
Some of you may want to skip earlier parts of this training, but the general principle applies to every comfort zone.
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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