So..it has come to the point where I have to write down my thoughts and seek help from you guys. I'm on the verge of depression. Mainly due to girlproblems. I'm afraid it's going to be a long rant, but I just need to air my thoughts :s
After a tough breakup 18 months ago I found this site and started to improve my game. After a while I managed to see some degree of success with the material i used and my newfound confidence due to selfimprovement. I made out with lots of girls, went on dates and my confidence was pretty good. I wasn't very intimidated by approaching girls and I didn't take the rejections personally. I've slept with 9 girls after becoming single. Various quality, ranging from warpig to a solid 8. mostly average chicks though. Chicks i wouldn't turn my head after if i were sober. Even though I got laid, banging average chicks made my confidence go down. I think subconsciously it made me feel unworthy of chicks of higher caliber. In addition to this, I've dated several greatlooking girls. After hanging out with them, they lose attraction. Then I next them in fear of getting oneitis. This is also contributing to my falling confidence-curve.
I'm a very social person. Outgoing and have no problem making friends. That's a great foundation. I'm also decent looking, smart and fit. I'm a bit on the short side though. 5'6 or something (1,73cm)..
I've always relied on my looks for attracting girls in the past, because I have noticed that I get initial attention from girls. Lately I have not gotten ANY attention from girls. Not even prolonged EC. They just look for 1 second, then look away. This is a total confidencekiller for me. I've also been struggling with acne-breakouts these last months, and that has affected my general mood and made me very selfconscious and isolated. It's not the "me" I'm used to. Confidence is extremely appearence-dependant. I'm taking care of that now though. I'm on Accutane. Clearing up real nice. I've also started working out alot. It helps!!
I've started to become insecure about everything! Feelings of not being good enough, not having enough to offer, not being goodlooking enough etc etc. All these AFC-feelings that I thought were gone. I know I'm great. I just have a really hard time conveying that to girls. It affects all aspects of my life. It makes me need approval. It makes me very approval seeking thus making me low value and pathetic. I used to not give a **** what people think of me. If they don't like me, there must be something seriously wrong with them.
All these feelings have made me hide behind the bottle when I'm out sarging. I'm too timid to approach sober so I drink. Alot. I love to drink and I love alcohol. hanging out with my friends and drinking beer is one of my favourite things to do. It REALLY ****s up my game though because I can't seem to stop in time. Poof and I'm s*itfaced... I get NO attention. Can't attract a single girl. Not even the ugly ones. I don't focus at all. I just ramble on like an idiot and say the stupidest things. I don't listen to what they say, I just plow through and skip every single step. And then after having crashed and burned 50 times, the clubs close, and I walk home alone with kebab on my jacket while kicking trashcans in anger and frustration. I turn into the idiot I point and laugh at when sober... This is happening over and over again even though I'm aware of the problem.
When i open girls in bars or somewhere else, I can't think of a single thing to say. Which is weird, because I'm a guy who can keep a conversation flowing naturally for as long as I want when I'm sober. I say the first things that pops into my head, most of the time something outlandishly absurd or mean, drunkenly mistaken for a neg. I go straight for the kill. Starting to hit on them before I create attraction. My mind has some weird logic that since I know all this stuff and how it works, that i don't actually have to do it. Just have to be aware of it. That's one of my biggest stickingpoints. Actually applying what i know instead of just being a moron..or caveman if you will..
Another thing is that when I'm talking to girls or chatting them up, and some other goodlooking guys appear or engage in the convo, they light up and shift their attention to them. This hits me hard. It shows that girls are sooo into looks, and that I'm not on top of that list. Makes me jealous of other guys. Can't do much more with my look. I'm well groomed, clean, nice clothes etc. I just can't see how I'm going to be successful. All these things contribute to a catastrophical mix of low confidence, selfconsciousness (sp?), desperation, bitterness and anger.
In all fairness I have to add that sometimes, when i have the right alcohol level (courage but still in control of my mind), I can spit some great game. I've picked up a few greatlooking girls by using very seductive techniques and sexual kinoescalation. I just can't do it consistently and I can't repeat and copy the process.
I'm just so depressed these days. Rejections are starting to hurt. I question myself. Am I really not as great catch as I once thought I was? There must be a reason why other guys get the girls that I crash and burn with.. And even after having tried to form my mindset into a true DJ. The bad circle here is that the more I fail with women, the more i think about it, the more depressed i get, the more i fail again. I know that my focus should NOT be on women but to excell in all other areas in life, and it will all fall into place eventually. That is ALOT easier said than done...
I just don't know what to do anymore. When I found this site, I KNEW I was going to be great with women. Exceptional. Instead, I'm even worse off than I've ever been... I hate waking up in the morning because i know my day will suck.
I used to be such a happy guy..what happened?!?
After a tough breakup 18 months ago I found this site and started to improve my game. After a while I managed to see some degree of success with the material i used and my newfound confidence due to selfimprovement. I made out with lots of girls, went on dates and my confidence was pretty good. I wasn't very intimidated by approaching girls and I didn't take the rejections personally. I've slept with 9 girls after becoming single. Various quality, ranging from warpig to a solid 8. mostly average chicks though. Chicks i wouldn't turn my head after if i were sober. Even though I got laid, banging average chicks made my confidence go down. I think subconsciously it made me feel unworthy of chicks of higher caliber. In addition to this, I've dated several greatlooking girls. After hanging out with them, they lose attraction. Then I next them in fear of getting oneitis. This is also contributing to my falling confidence-curve.
I'm a very social person. Outgoing and have no problem making friends. That's a great foundation. I'm also decent looking, smart and fit. I'm a bit on the short side though. 5'6 or something (1,73cm)..
I've always relied on my looks for attracting girls in the past, because I have noticed that I get initial attention from girls. Lately I have not gotten ANY attention from girls. Not even prolonged EC. They just look for 1 second, then look away. This is a total confidencekiller for me. I've also been struggling with acne-breakouts these last months, and that has affected my general mood and made me very selfconscious and isolated. It's not the "me" I'm used to. Confidence is extremely appearence-dependant. I'm taking care of that now though. I'm on Accutane. Clearing up real nice. I've also started working out alot. It helps!!
I've started to become insecure about everything! Feelings of not being good enough, not having enough to offer, not being goodlooking enough etc etc. All these AFC-feelings that I thought were gone. I know I'm great. I just have a really hard time conveying that to girls. It affects all aspects of my life. It makes me need approval. It makes me very approval seeking thus making me low value and pathetic. I used to not give a **** what people think of me. If they don't like me, there must be something seriously wrong with them.
All these feelings have made me hide behind the bottle when I'm out sarging. I'm too timid to approach sober so I drink. Alot. I love to drink and I love alcohol. hanging out with my friends and drinking beer is one of my favourite things to do. It REALLY ****s up my game though because I can't seem to stop in time. Poof and I'm s*itfaced... I get NO attention. Can't attract a single girl. Not even the ugly ones. I don't focus at all. I just ramble on like an idiot and say the stupidest things. I don't listen to what they say, I just plow through and skip every single step. And then after having crashed and burned 50 times, the clubs close, and I walk home alone with kebab on my jacket while kicking trashcans in anger and frustration. I turn into the idiot I point and laugh at when sober... This is happening over and over again even though I'm aware of the problem.
When i open girls in bars or somewhere else, I can't think of a single thing to say. Which is weird, because I'm a guy who can keep a conversation flowing naturally for as long as I want when I'm sober. I say the first things that pops into my head, most of the time something outlandishly absurd or mean, drunkenly mistaken for a neg. I go straight for the kill. Starting to hit on them before I create attraction. My mind has some weird logic that since I know all this stuff and how it works, that i don't actually have to do it. Just have to be aware of it. That's one of my biggest stickingpoints. Actually applying what i know instead of just being a moron..or caveman if you will..
Another thing is that when I'm talking to girls or chatting them up, and some other goodlooking guys appear or engage in the convo, they light up and shift their attention to them. This hits me hard. It shows that girls are sooo into looks, and that I'm not on top of that list. Makes me jealous of other guys. Can't do much more with my look. I'm well groomed, clean, nice clothes etc. I just can't see how I'm going to be successful. All these things contribute to a catastrophical mix of low confidence, selfconsciousness (sp?), desperation, bitterness and anger.
In all fairness I have to add that sometimes, when i have the right alcohol level (courage but still in control of my mind), I can spit some great game. I've picked up a few greatlooking girls by using very seductive techniques and sexual kinoescalation. I just can't do it consistently and I can't repeat and copy the process.
I'm just so depressed these days. Rejections are starting to hurt. I question myself. Am I really not as great catch as I once thought I was? There must be a reason why other guys get the girls that I crash and burn with.. And even after having tried to form my mindset into a true DJ. The bad circle here is that the more I fail with women, the more i think about it, the more depressed i get, the more i fail again. I know that my focus should NOT be on women but to excell in all other areas in life, and it will all fall into place eventually. That is ALOT easier said than done...
I just don't know what to do anymore. When I found this site, I KNEW I was going to be great with women. Exceptional. Instead, I'm even worse off than I've ever been... I hate waking up in the morning because i know my day will suck.
I used to be such a happy guy..what happened?!?