left my girlfriend after a quarrel

[intellectual-apeman]

Hi guys, here's the story.
I got into a quarrel with my girfriend of 8 months cos she was late and i was rushing to somewhere. Whilst she is angry she said many hurtful things. She's got a thick ego and pride that needs to be broken down.

I believe she is insecure cos i am such a challenge to her. SHe even said that i am the first man that she has to please so much and she wants someone to be there more for her when she needs him.

What do u guys think if i leave and kept quiet for 2-3 weeks and keep a deaf ear to her pleas to come back. What is the effect of this to her? It's not the first time i did this but most of the other times, i left for not more than 10days. This time i got a ticket out of the country and will be away for 3weeks.

Any wise DJs could help me out and let me know of the cause and effect of my actions. Thanks guys

 

[joekerr31]

if shes the one for you there should be no need for games like this.

the games should all come in the beginning and set the ground work for the future.

based on the info you gave its hard to give advice with absolute certainty.

i mean, is she right? theres a difference between being a challenge and an *sshole.

is she just with you out of her own insecurities? and does that mean you will have to spend your life making sure that she is always insecure or fear losing her?

personally i will only accept a strong, hoenst woman as a mate. and she must be someone who has some degree of maturity and humility. which is to say that she doesn't think she is always right just because she FEELS right, and that she is prepared to grow and adapt. She must also be prepared tos upport me and wish the best for me, not because she gets anything from that but because thats what caring about someone means. And i would also expect her to expect the same from me.

LTRs should be a partnership - which means there should be a common goal that the two of you are working towards.

too many relationships have NO common goal. the only point of the relationship is what i like to call - mutual narcisssism.

not enough info in what you've provided to really direct you here. It does sound however that this relationship has a ways to go before it could be considered fully matured.

J

 

[intellectual-apeman]

ok here's more info... i'm 28 and she is 21 n we've been together for 8 months..
i like her for her submissive traits towards me but the point is she was married and had a kid.. they are not stayin together anymore for over a year and the kid is with the ex which she doesn't visit at all.
from her story she got married to the guy because she was pregnant with the kid but she was never into him that much but his pursuing of her is the one that made her cave@in...
in the long run, their relationship got bad because her ex was hiding another replacement and lowering her interest level very much at the same time....she didn't know anything bout the replacement but they were always into bitter quarrells until one day she was asked to leave and she left, it ended and it was 1 year ago........
she met me later on but i kept the relationship a challenge always trying to find out as much as possible bout her and was always a challenge and no words of affection escaped from my mouth... only actions of care, concern and affections........i caught her still in contact with her ex through sms and i left her but her pleading emails and messages made me think of a second chance...
she promised me no more hang ups and i will be the only one but it seems this letting go of something that was there (her ex) made her feel vulnerable cause she has to trust me completely... she doesn't know whether to trust me or not and even resorted to initiating a mock break up to get my attention and get words out from my mouth. She knows that if i get mistreated i will leave so she's been ok for a while but i believe she's frustrated that i am in control of the relationship so she tries to act as if she doesn't care but indeed it bothers her... Last week was when everything blew up and now i'm outta the country for 3 weeks.

will this info help guys? Hope to hear more from u guys. Thanks man.

 

[WestCoaster]

Do you have track shoes?

How fast can you run from this gal? You wrote:

********************************************

is she was married and had a kid.. they are not stayin together anymore for over a year and the kid is with the ex which she doesn't visit at all.
from her story she got married to the guy because she was pregnant with the kid but she was never into him that much but his pursuing of her is the one that made her cave@in...

*******************************************

A woman who doesn't see her kid and is not "into him that much" is a total, 100 percent b-tch who is adding to our societal problems in this world. A kid needs a father and a mother, and even if they're divorced or not together, he/she needs them both.

She's no good ... run fast, or put yourself in misery by dating someone with a cooooooooooold heart.

Let's see, she doesn't see her kid and gets mad at you ... wow, I'm getting a stiffy already! (sarcasm alert)

 

[intellectual-apeman]

but isn't it good for me cos i don't have to think of the ex or the kid?

 

[WestCoaster]

Run ...

... that's all I can say is, run. I wasted part of my 20's dating some chicks with kids. At your age you can still go into the nice 18-25 single/no kids/no serious ex market and do well. College chicks are great (18-23) because they're not quite into dirtbags just yet ... they usually get that later.

Run, run, run far, far, far away from this gal.

* Note: If there's problems during the dating process, those will only be exasberated when you're married or engaged.

Run.

 

[joekerr31]

the only potential this woman offers you is as a FB.

to see her in any other light would be a huge mistake.

aside from that, my police is chics with kids never work out long term unless you are looking to be a daddy. chics with kids want a daddy more than a man (in the long run).

28/21 isn't the best match up. i mean, it can work, but its rare - just such a gap in maturity, life experience and future ambitions.

that said, if the woman for you happened to be 21 i wouldnt say not to pursue it.

but this doesn't sound like the catch of all catches.

FB her or run away as West said.

J

 

[intellectual-apeman]

wow u guys are direct...:kick: no hopefully she could be a better person or something but it does make sense...
if i were a wuss and suck up to her, i would definitely be used and abused.
Could it be the challenge that made her stay on? I know i am always trying yo UP her interest level and lead the way. I dun think i am such an arsehole cos if shes good i'll give her what she deserves but she's been bad. So could it be the challenge that made her stay on?

 

[joekerr31]

its probably that you think shes attractive and like screwing her.

J

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Good riddance, a woman that challenges almost more than half of your decisions is just too much drama for anyone. No amount of pvssy or blojobs is going to make up for the b1tchness.

Here is my Elite SoSuave Golden Rule: If a woman does not make you feel like a man in a relationship - consider the alternatives seriously

 

[intellectual-apeman]

Originally posted by joekerr31
its probably that you think shes attractive and like screwing her.

J

god, u are so right on man
one of my best screws...
so fvuckbuddy her yes...LTR is a NO

 

[MightyMate]

Should work and fix her. I know *****es with those huge egos.

 

[intellectual-apeman]

Originally posted by MightyMate
Should work and fix her. I know *****es with those huge egos.

what do u mean by work and fix her dude?
u mean i should try to influence change on her?

 

[WestCoaster]

The myth of the fb

I would say about 1 out of 1,000 people handle the fb well, and probably 90 percent of the time one of the two people involved in fb relationship wants it to be a real relationship. I know, exceptions to the rule, ERIC! probably has this down to a science, good for him.

But look at all the posts here, MEN are wondering why this, why that, how this, how that and don't understand the dynamics of the relationship. Too late to put this in fb status on this post, the man is already wishing for dinners, hoping for phone calls, wanting more.

A gal I knew in grad school said she had a "friends with benefits" deal with an old boyfriend. Her next line, "I guess he likes me, I don't know; he won't hold my hand in public" ... and she almost started crying. She was the one who said it was an fb relationship and then didn't really want that.

I think the fb thing is a huge myth in this country. If people want to have such relationships, fine. One person is usually going to take it differently. Just say you have a relationship.

I'm into myth bashing as is this site. I think the fb is a huge fallacy in this country. You're better off having a serious relationship, or dating many women and having a few you sleep with (use protection). Most women take the fb thing as a pathway to a serious relationship, many guys do, too.

As with this thread, I'd totally break off contact physically and emotionally. When you're under 30 you should be dating as many women as possible.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Originally posted by joekerr31
if shes the one for you there should be no need for games like this.

Shame on you. There is no ONE.

 

[Tazman]

SHE DOESN'T VISIT HER KID AT ALL!!! That's all you need to know. Why on earth would you want a serious relationship with a woman who denies her very nature to CARE for her children?