Learned helplessness

[oakraiderz2]

For the past few months i havent felt like my past self. There will be times when im happy, but i seem to get depressed about things a lot more than most people. I know i shouldnt attribute where i live to my success, cause its not that bad of a place. I know im responsible for what i do with my life. But there are times that i feel like i can only do so much here. I want to move some place else but i question it a lot so i cant make a decision. When i talk to my parents all they can say is "wait and finish school." I kinda think my parents philosophy of life is just to wait. Its hard for me to look at them night after night after goddamn night doing nothing. My mom stays in her room all day watchin tv and doing a little cleaning, she has no job. My dad works, comes home and gets on the computer in the basement until he goes to bed. As of late hes been sleepin in our empty bedroom. I hear what i think to be my mom cryin at random times in the day and feel bad for her, but it makes me want to leave so i dont have to be around an enviornment which is detrimental to my psyche. I'll occasionally try to talk to my mom about moving and all she says is why?, just finish school first, and blah blah. I was at the point where i looked forward to moving out and i would embrace the excitement. Now im more worried about the thought of it. I think about everything that could go wrong, nothing that could go right. I used to be excited about approaching girls and getting numbers and stuff. Not anymore. Nothing really excites me. At times i think im depressed because i always end up in a mood which leads to writing stuff like youre reading now. I wish i could go to a psychologist but i dunno, all i have at this point in time is everyone who reads/responds to this post. I have no one to talk to about this...it sucks.

 

[MuayThai]

I could have written a post exactly the same as this for myself right now. I'm at possibally the lowest point i've been at since my dad died. I need to move and life is a complete uphill struggle.

All we can do is persevere and keep running towards what we want out of life.
Endure and treat life and your mind as a ***** to be tamed.

 

[thefonz]

I also could have written this post. I"m in a complete uphill struggle both financially and socially and my mom wants me to stay in school no matter what (even though she has no interest what exactly it is I'm doing in school)

I find imagination to be the most important part of getting to where you want to be. I keep the images of me finally achieving independence as my motivation to break out of those bad moods. I imagine my muscles bulging out of my shirt when i work out. I imagine going to clubs, buying new clothes, going on fancy dates when I'm at work or looking and applying for jobs. These are my dreams and they're getting me through the bad times.