TheException
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,109
- Reaction score
- 111
So after turning all the lights off and preparing to go to bed, my girlfriend and I were cuddling and talking when a very interesting conversation thread began to take place.....I want you guys to notice the "frame" that took place...and the attitude from which it sprung.
So we were talking about when we first met each other and how she "really liked me", "I was different" etc (been dating two months) and she confessed...I would say not really realizing what she was saying...something veryyyy interesting. She essentially admitted how nervous she was when we first started seeing each other(non exclusive) and how she "didnt want to screw up, and scare me off". READ THAT AGAIN. SHE didnt want to scare ME off....
A lot of guys have the reverse mindset...they never want to screw up with a girl. They come to these forums...and ask how to either "fix a mistake" or "what to do next" because they arent sure. These sorts of questions come from a mentality that is seeking to please the woman. They dont want to "screw up their shot at getting sex". This is the wrong mindset gentlemen. We talk often(although not often enough) about the PRIZE MENTALITY. Its application is essential in getting the most out of your "dating/love life". I have fully prescribed to this way of thinking but its always good to get a little reminder that it truly works. The dynamic of a relationship ESPECIALLY in the early stages needs to be like my girlfriend felt, in order for a relationship to spring. She needs to constantly be feeling like "if she screws up...you wont call her again". This way it reinforces that SHE IS CHASING YOU.
Remember...this mindset is not only important for the beginning, but for the entire course of a relationship. As a matter of fact....its important for your ENTIRE LIFE. Tips to stay on track + achieve this mindset:
1.)Always be spinning. ALWAYS. Even when in a LTR, I still hit on other girls. Its just who I am as a person and its beneficial. Not saying I cross any lines, but I will banter with a woman even in the presence of my girlfriend. I never have the mindset that I need "only one woman" to satisfy me in my life. For if my girlfriend ever becomes not worthy of a relationship I am not scared to end it. Having this mentality always keeps your girlfriend/plate on her toes and lets her know...you are desired by other woman and will leave her if she ever screws up and/or no longer satisfies you.
2.)Life before Love + Sex. Always have your personal goals and career goals above your women. Again...reinforces your priorities.
3.)Never become disillusioned about your girlfriend/plates. ALL WOMEN HAVE THE POTENTIAL to screw up. Whether thats cheating, sh1tty behavior, absurd jealousy, etc. At any moment ANY WOMAN has the ability to no longer be as she was at the start when she is on her "best behavior". Even though I like my girlfriend and may one day love her....I will never unconditionally love her. Meaning...there will NEVER be a day, where I look at her and think...."theres nothing you could do to make me leave". I know it sounds obvious on paper as you read that...but many a betas have forgiven their girlfriends for heinous acts...including infidelity. You must never let those type of thoughts infiltrate into your mind.
So we were talking about when we first met each other and how she "really liked me", "I was different" etc (been dating two months) and she confessed...I would say not really realizing what she was saying...something veryyyy interesting. She essentially admitted how nervous she was when we first started seeing each other(non exclusive) and how she "didnt want to screw up, and scare me off". READ THAT AGAIN. SHE didnt want to scare ME off....
A lot of guys have the reverse mindset...they never want to screw up with a girl. They come to these forums...and ask how to either "fix a mistake" or "what to do next" because they arent sure. These sorts of questions come from a mentality that is seeking to please the woman. They dont want to "screw up their shot at getting sex". This is the wrong mindset gentlemen. We talk often(although not often enough) about the PRIZE MENTALITY. Its application is essential in getting the most out of your "dating/love life". I have fully prescribed to this way of thinking but its always good to get a little reminder that it truly works. The dynamic of a relationship ESPECIALLY in the early stages needs to be like my girlfriend felt, in order for a relationship to spring. She needs to constantly be feeling like "if she screws up...you wont call her again". This way it reinforces that SHE IS CHASING YOU.
Remember...this mindset is not only important for the beginning, but for the entire course of a relationship. As a matter of fact....its important for your ENTIRE LIFE. Tips to stay on track + achieve this mindset:
1.)Always be spinning. ALWAYS. Even when in a LTR, I still hit on other girls. Its just who I am as a person and its beneficial. Not saying I cross any lines, but I will banter with a woman even in the presence of my girlfriend. I never have the mindset that I need "only one woman" to satisfy me in my life. For if my girlfriend ever becomes not worthy of a relationship I am not scared to end it. Having this mentality always keeps your girlfriend/plate on her toes and lets her know...you are desired by other woman and will leave her if she ever screws up and/or no longer satisfies you.
2.)Life before Love + Sex. Always have your personal goals and career goals above your women. Again...reinforces your priorities.
3.)Never become disillusioned about your girlfriend/plates. ALL WOMEN HAVE THE POTENTIAL to screw up. Whether thats cheating, sh1tty behavior, absurd jealousy, etc. At any moment ANY WOMAN has the ability to no longer be as she was at the start when she is on her "best behavior". Even though I like my girlfriend and may one day love her....I will never unconditionally love her. Meaning...there will NEVER be a day, where I look at her and think...."theres nothing you could do to make me leave". I know it sounds obvious on paper as you read that...but many a betas have forgiven their girlfriends for heinous acts...including infidelity. You must never let those type of thoughts infiltrate into your mind.
