Last Night (is more than just a mediocre song by The Strokes)

[AKA FLEX]

After a night that saw me fire on all cylinders all night like MJ in the playoffs, I'm truly baffled as to why this girl's interest level seems to be waning.

Some background info: this girl is a college student in the town where I am interning for the summer, finished her finals last week, and is leaving tomorrow (Saturday) night to go home for a couple months. I met her last Thursday night, waited 5 days--until Tuesday--to call, and set up a date for last night.

I picked her up at 10 for dessert and a drink at a local bar where a line-up of amateur comedians is performing. Bad comedy is God's gift to a man on a first date. My C&F game came across as even more impeccable when contrasted with the blockheads on stage. Plus the comedians were so cheesy it was hilarious, which create a light and affable atmosphere. At one point she got up to go to the bathroom and returned with two fancy-pants high-class drinks, one for me and one for her. At this point I got the feeling that she was trying to get me inebriated to the point where I wouldn't be able to drive home--a good 25 miles--and would have to stay with her, who lives right behind the bar where we were hanging out. I did nothing to stop her, because at the time I thought that staying the night with her was a favorable situation to driving home and masturbating.

When the comedy act--if you want to call it that--came to a close, we relocated downtown at some hopping dance club. I bought the first round of beers, and when we finished them, she offered to go buy us each another. I accepted. She was touching me and doing everything she could to get close all night. Literally every joke I told--even the occasional one that wasn't even that funny--elicited a genuine, hearty belly laugh from her. All night she was giving me what my high-school senior cousin refers to as "sex eyes."

Eventually, I took her back to her apartment where we watched TV for about thirty minutes. I sat down on the couch first, then she squeezed in right beside me (the couch could comfortably seat three people) and leaned up against me. Throughout that half-hour, the kino was good and the conversation was great.

I looked at the clock and realized it was 3:30 AM. I had a training session for my summer internship the next morning (this morning) at 11, so I told her that I should get going. By this point I had also decided that I would not make myself so available as to spend the night with her the first night and try to get more play on Saturday. I now realize that decision was stupid, but like I realize now that when I was 12, stuffing a sock in my pants was
not the best way to get girls at the pool to notice me, hindsight is 20/20.

She got up and walked me to the front door where we embraced and kissed for about 20 seconds. It was a good kiss that she seemed to enjoy as much as me. She asked, "Are you sure you're okay to drive"--possibly a subtle effort to get me to stay--and I said yes. She said that we shoud "hang out on Saturday" before she goes home and I told her that I would call her Friday (today) to make plans.

I left her a message at 4:30. It's now 11 and she hasn't returned my call. Now I am not a 13-year-old girl and normally I would think NOTHING of a girl not returning my call within seven hours. I don't have one-itis either. It's just that this girl is leaving tomorrow--though she will be back in town periodically throughout the summer--so obviously I need to talk to her soon--like real soon--if I'm going to hang out with her and get some more play before she leaves. And I won't lie: this girl is SMOKIN' hot with a KILLER rack.

My question to you experienced DJs like me is twofold. First, if something did go wrong and I am not just paranoid because I haven't gotten any in a while, what was it? Should I have stayed the night at her place and tried to tap the muff? Could she possibly think I'm a pu$$y for leaving with just a kiss? I'm baffled.

Second, if there is no message on my cellphone from her upon waking up tomorrow--I'm staying in for the night, too much partying this week (I turned 21 on Tuesday)--should I give her another try or just say the hell with it?

Thanks for taking the time to read this long-ass post and thanks for your help, DJs!!

 

[AKA FLEX]

Okay people...

...I give advice here much more often than I solicit it, but right now, my knob needs your help in order for it to get wet tomorrow night!

I know my post is long, but I have a writing style that's easy to read, plus I make my stuff interesting by throwing in witticisms and wordplay whenever possible. If you think you might have some good advice to offer, please read my post--I promise it won't be painful--and post your thoughts.

 

[trajhenkhet]

I always make it a point to keep things light when first going out with someone. Not saying can't have sex early on, but just not expecting anyone to hold any form of commitment right off the bat. As a DJ I now know the value of dating. If she didn't call me for example, she would just get placed at the backend of the dating bus.

 

[AKA FLEX]

I appreciate your reply, and I for the most part agree with your dating theory. However, the way in which my situation is different from a typical dating scenario is the cause of my need for everyone's help.

I'm working within a very limited time frame. This girl leaves town TOMORROW NIGHT. She is planning on visiting Knoxville several times throughout the summer, but even she isn't sure when.

What I need to know is, if I wake up tomorrow--I am about to get in bed--and she has yet to return my call or leave a message, should I give her another try. I left her a message early this afternoon and have heard nothing. She had told me that she wanted to hang out tomorrow before she leaves.

So what should it be?

 

[bp1974]

You blew it when you left.

My guess is she's thinking "What's wrong with this guy? He spent all night acting like he wanted to f*ck me, then when I let him come back with me he got cold feet and left.. WTF? Maybe he's a virgin or something.. or he doesn't like me anymore because I was too easy (a*shole!).. oh well, it would have been fun.."

The way I see it, you've got two choices.

1) Don't call her, but know where she's going to be tonight, find your way there and play a BLINDING game of kino, p*ssy-teasing and talking to other girls to get yourself back into her "He wants to f*ck me, and I want it too" arena.

2) If you've no way of knowing where she'll be tonight, call her. Whether you call her today to find out her plans, or wait until tonight when she's out, ask where she is and say "great, I'll see you in 30 mins", is your choice.

You've got nothing to lose by trying, but you better have your game on. And for God's sake, this time f*ck her or send her to me.

bp1974

 

[violator]

Perhaps it is too early to play Monday morning quarterback since there is still a window of opportunity here. But, I sense that you blew this one. Having made the same mistake myself, I now realize that you should never try to be a challenge when the girl is basically giving you all the signals that she wants get fycked. This is especially true when 1) you are dealing with a HB and 2) you are not going to see her for a while.

Women, especially the hot ones will feel rejected if you get them all hot and horny and do not follow through. A rejected woman, especially a very attractive one can become bitter. So my play on the situation is that she said to herself "WTF, I got him to my apartment, gave him all the signals and he walks out?" One hot girl that I walked out on spread a rumor that I was gay. Yes, they can be quite bitter.

Whatever Doc Love says about being a challenge only works when you are trying to seduce a girl over the long term. But, when she is the seductress giving you the signs that she wants to get plowed right then and there, by all means embrace your manhood and give her what she wants.

 

[AKA FLEX]

Another option

Hey guys, I appreciate the great advice!

It's 11:40 AM and I've still heard nothing. It isn't like I have anything invested in this chick; at this point I really just want to know what I did wrong, or if I even did anything wrong--maybe she just doesn't want to get too attached before she leaves--because this is an unusual situation for me.

I've been a member of this site and a DJ-in-training since 2000, and I've gotta say, my game has become pretty damn good. I rarely get blown off like this. I could call her within the next hour, but my pride doesn't really want to, as I left her a message yesterday to which she didn't respond.

What do you guys think of this option: wait 3-4 days and if I
still haven't heard anything, call her up on her cellphone and simply ask why she blew me off because I want to know for future reference how to handle the situation differently.

Or I could just call her today. With my new idea in mind, any suggestions?

 

[Quick]

If you don't call her now, don't call her later asking what you did wrong. I doubt that'll produce good results. As far as calling her now goes, I wouldn't. It's not an accident that she didn't call you back, and I know I'm not going to chase women any longer.

As far as what you did wrong, who cares? You know that what you do works most of the time, so no reason to worry. If you had stayed, you could have had her, so you didn't really fail with her. There's always the slight chance that she didn't get your message, and if you call her, you might get some. What does your intuition tell you?

 

[violator]

You called and left a message and I am assuming she also has caller ID. Ergo, she knows you called and the ball is in her court. I see no reason why you have to call for the second time around. You will only come off as being desperate. I have been in similar situations where I want closure and need to know the reason for the blow off. Who cares?

Just let it go and let it serve as a lesson in the future, which is never take an opportunity for granted. If she is interested she will contact you. It could be today, tomorrow or next year. But, succumbing to AFC tendencies will only prove to be counterproductive. Like you said your game is tight so there is no need to worry about this particular episode. Once in a while things just don't go according to plan and you have to accept that and move on.

 

[bp1974]

But, succumbing to AFC tendencies will only prove to be counterproductive. Like you said your game is tight so there is no need to worry about this particular episode. Once in a while things just don't go according to plan and you have to accept that and move on.

Good advice, worth repeating.

bp1974