"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Lacking in Manners

Dynamited

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Hi Guys

After the end of my LTR a year ago, I have been dating rather aggressively to keep myself in the game.

I've noticed on quite a few dates after I paid for the bill, the girl just sits there and says nothing. I'm cool paying sometimes but geez..would it be that hard to just say 'thanks'.

Come to think of it, I've yet to have one tell me "I'll get the next round" or to that effect.

Some will send me a thank you text after the date and I appreciate that.

It's those that remain silent even after we've parted ways which pisses me off.

Needless to say I won't bother asking them out again.

Any of you guys experienced something similar before?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ubercat

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Yeah basically means pump n dump if u can be bothered. In an LTR they would be a p i t a taking everything as their due and never giving you any credit.
 

Dynamited

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I never expect them to get the next round. There's been debates my entire 10 years here on sosuave about whether a girl should pay for the first date. My answer has always been the same. It is the man's job to invite the girl out, so it is the man's job to pay. First date should be drinks and nothing more. If you guys have issues with paying for a drink or two, then you need to really look inward at your finances and any control issues that you have lingering, because you're basing all of your expectations on what should be rather than what is.

Now, if she never does send a text afterwards, acknowledging that she at least enjoyed my company, then I'm not going back to her. Because the interest level was never really there. But this is not that significant an issue for the guy who is spinning lots of plates and generating lots of options. You won't worry about it when you got more than one woman to entertain. If all of the women are treating you this way, then it's you not them.
I never had a problem paying for the first few dates. It's usually drinks or a quick bite so it's not going to break the bank.

A good tip on a text afterwards. I too use that as a gauge of interest level and how well the date went.

Thankfully this only happens to only a small number of females that i date
 

Dynamited

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Your own expectations are the problem.

You expect them to kiss your *ss because you bought them something. Maybe some recognition would be nice.. But for you to get all pissy about it is silly.
Why would saying thanks be taken as kissing my ass? It's just extending common courtesy to someone that did you a nice gesture. I always make it a point to say it when I experience that.

But ubercat made a point about a giver or taker. Best LTRs I had were with girls who exhibited an appreciative attitude from the get go.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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latinnova

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I'm not a big fan at all of women who lack in manners. I also find it a huge turn off if women have the sense of humor of a guy. What I mean by that is by burping loud as hell, making raunchy comments all the time, etc. etc.... that just makes me seriously not look at them as a woman that I want to fvck, but a cool friend I can hang around. I guess some dudes might like that, but it's an instant boner killer to me.
 

Dynamited

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I'm not a big fan at all of women who lack in manners. I also find it a huge turn off if women have the sense of humor of a guy. What I mean by that is by burping loud as hell, making raunchy comments all the time, etc. etc.... that just makes me seriously not look at them as a woman that I want to fvck, but a cool friend I can hang around. I guess some dudes might like that, but it's an instant boner killer to me.
Reminds me of this girl i dated once. Her swearing could make a sailor blush and she kept checking her phone.

Deleted her number after the date.
 

Atom Smasher

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I consider a woman's expression of appreciation to be very important. When I buy a woman lunch, let's say, I expect a thank-you. She may forget, being stunned and helpless within my magnificent presence, so I'll give her a second chance for a thank-you text soon after.

Politeness is very, very important to me. But to each his own. I get it that it's not as important to some men. For me, a thank you or a lack thereof speaks volumes about her character, and the fact is that I'll only deal with appreciative women.
 

Bible_Belt

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It's about interest level. I would just take it as her telling me she was not that interested. It hardly ever happens to me, because I spend a lot of time qualifying a woman before I will ask her out. I'm only meeting her if I think her interest is high. Maybe I miss some lays this way, but I don't waste any money.
 

exhausted

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Your own expectations are the problem.

You expect them to kiss your *ss because you bought them something. Maybe some recognition would be nice.. But for you to get all pissy about it is silly.
No you are wrong.
Grattitude and kindness are of value, if a girl does not display value get rid of her
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

exhausted

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I consider a woman's expression of appreciation to be very important. When I buy a woman lunch, let's say, I expect a thank-you. She may forget, being stunned and helpless within my magnificent presence, so I'll give her a second chance for a thank-you text soon after.

Politeness is very, very important to me. But to each his own. I get it that it's not as important to some men. For me, a thank you or a lack thereof speaks volumes about her character, and the fact is that I'll only deal with appreciative women.
Good for you and agreed.
Women who dont appreciate are also not kind or loving. good ridance
 
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