Lack of Desire to Pursue Girls

[jlazz]

These past few months, I just have no desire to pursue girls. This is completely the opposite of how I used to be. I used to be very outgoing, mingle with girls a lot, very flirtatious, and lately I've just had no drive to do any of that. If anything, I see it as a hassle to do it. I don't keep in touch with a lot of the girls I know just because I don't feel like it.

There's this 1 girl that I used to hook up with every now and then - she always tries to hang out with me and I say yah we will, but then never do because I don't really feel like it. I feel like I don't have the sex drive and urge to get laid.

How can I regain my desire to pursue girls and get laid. I feel beta nowadays in social situations, where in the past I was care-free and the guy everyone looked to.

My past 2 years of college, I had a different girlfriend both years and would have sex 2-3 times a day. I was always horny and wanting to have sex w/ my gf. Now, I feel like my sex drive is down or is it mental? Even when I go out to parties now, I feel beta and don't pursue girls. I find myself alone in bed at night watchin porn...

Need some advice.

 

[Splendidostring]

I'm in the same situation. I've never been a HIGH chaser but I still had more activity a 1-2 years ago. Now, the only girls I see are at school and they all look silly and boring to me. I feel like they're aliens. Gotta admit I'm a 25 old guy in a 17-25ish school.

Still, in my case I moved into a new town last year and I figure it has something to do with it, new town, I don't know lots of people. I guess I'm rebuilding my life from scratch and It just doesn't seem important right now.

I guess my point is : there might be something that changed in your life recently?

 

[jlazz]

I'm in the same situation. I've never been a HIGH chaser but I still had more activity a 1-2 years ago. Now, the only girls I see are at school and they all look silly and boring to me. I feel like they're aliens. Gotta admit I'm a 25 old guy in a 17-25ish school.

Still, in my case I moved into a new town last year and I figure it has something to do with it, new town, I don't know lots of people. I guess I'm rebuilding my life from scratch and It just doesn't seem important right now.

I guess my point is : there might be something that changed in your life recently?

Well, I've noticed that I've been more insecure about myself lately. I've been pretty judgemental of my own self. I've been working out for like 3 years and have gotten much bigger, but lately from all the drinking and such, I've put on a little fat, but nothing really noticeable, but I do. Besides that though, I'm pretty confident about myself. I've noticed though that when I was in a little better shape, I was extremely confident, almost on the verge of being ****y, but girls definitely noticed the confidence.

Working out has only made me more self conscious. I always feel like I'm not big enough or fit enough. Its bad.

Any tips on regaining my confidence? Thats the 1 thing thats really holding me back.

I've also been out of the game for a while...ever since my ex-gf the end of last yr. Its like I forgot how to talk to girls the way I used to. I used to be very flirtateous and girls ate it up. Now I can't do that anymore. I'm always thinking about how people are viewing me rather than just doing whatever I want.

 

[Splendidostring]

Arg dude, wish I knew how to build back confidence.

Still, I'll give it a try.

Working out is good, it makes you feel better about yourself but I don't believe it actually builds confidence. Gives an ego boosts then becomes a habbit.

To gain back confidence I think one individual needs to place himself in a situation where he IS the reference. Exemple : Let's say you're a great dancer, become a teacher. I'd believe that this way you would find yourself in a position where people actually see you as a major reference and want to relate to you. I guess confidence is just feeling like "a master of life". Like one of these old kung-fu guys who always kick your ass and give you some harsh but yet useful insight of life. I know it sounds cheezy but that's all I can come up with.

Good luck