Keeping the conversation interesting, not like an interview

[Fumbduck]

I hate the "where do you live", "what do you do", "what are you studying" type questions. They are soooo boring and so common.

From experience, what topics, tactics have you used to learn about a girl's personality without the routine BS interview questions.

 

[rocket87]

Just be utterly and completely random; it'll lead to good topics to discuss. (I've found the less I try, the more random I become - which is great BUT can be difficult especially when you are becoming anxious about losing a conversation.) This also reflects your alpha personality in not giving a f$ck about what you say/what you talk about/being non-predictable. Everyone has been in that weird situation where you can't think of anything to come up with, so I know how you feel. What's something you've done a lot of that others haven't? For me, I've traveled quite a bit for my age... Always leads to good topics to chat about.

If you are really having a lot of trouble with it, try reading up on Style's storytelling methods. He has some good pointers for storytelling if you are lacking there. Most people suck at telling stories (I know I did at AFC camp) so this can be highly beneficial.

Also, I think this is really important to mention: Some girls just aren't very engaging with conversation and rhetoric (which is against the norm, since the average women could chat all day about whatever is on her mind). This can happen even if they are into you, which can be a weird feeling since talkative women = sign of attraction. It can also just be shyness/lack of comfort, or she could be very submissive and expect you to lead every conversation (if she's submissive with you leading elsewhere, this is actually a good sign.)

Finally, I suppose if I ever get "stuck," I just think of anything that could get her talking about herself. Asking open ended questions about the future is pretty good for judging personality.


Looking forward to others responses to your question. It never hurts to better ourselves when it comes to making/continuing conversation - Not just with women but in general.

 

[crazyboy]

Im just in a typing mode today. But i generally ask open ended question. Like if you met her at school. what subject are you taking how are though classes. Then my favorite what you like to do for fun. That my favorite question because most women go down a list they like. Which give you list of conversation topic to continue with. If all in all if you get stuck with something say or to lead with. Talking about your surrounding if your at restuarant talk about the ambience or whatever you take your date.

 

[IamJosan]

You should try pointing out something funny about her and open her from there. If she can't laugh about herself, then I wouldn't want to be with her. Would you?

 

[Veridin]

Like rocket says, be random and show that you are there to have fun. But keep in mind not to ramble, which is easy to do.

For me, being high on coffee right before the date helps a lot. (Since I don't usually drink coffee - free radicals, gives you wrinkles.) Just one cup gets me going like the Energizer Bunny.

A quirky tip I heard: Write "f*ck you" on your toes, the letters pointing outward. It keeps you from feeling nervous and stale in a conversation.

I could point you to the DJ Bible and the articles in Step 7: Conversation. Instead I'll show you Hot Girl, episode 6 from The Office, season 1.

http://www.cucirca.com/2008/06/16/the-office-season-1-episode-6-hot-girl/

Skip forward to 18.09, where Jim is going to talk to the girl who sells purses. She is attractive and most of her customers are men, "They buy them as gifts." (Yeah, right.) Through the episode you have seen Michael and Dwight trying to come on to her beta-style. She reacts politely, probably being hit on every day - it's how she sells purses.

So Jim decides to be just casual and quirky with her. And he is NOT gonna buy anything. A short scene but well-written, the delivery is excellent. The dialogue in itself isn't enough, it's about the style in the delivery.

JIM: "Hi, I'm Jim by the way."
KATIE: "I'm Katie."
JIM: "Hi Katie, nice to meet you."
KATIE: "You sit out there, don't you?"
JIM: "I do, that's what I'm best known for. Sitting out there. All right, let's talk about purses!"
KATIE: "Okay, Um..."
JIM (fake serious) : "Katie, but, you know what? Don't try to sell me one. Okay? Seriously, 'cause I'm just here to learn."
(Katie laughs, by now it's clear Jim is taking charge and Katie is following.)
KATIE: "Okay...."

And he doesn't let up on this after the initial success. He keeps up the quirkyness later.

JIM: "All right, now, I'm gonna warn you. Don't freak out, okay?
KATIE: "Why?"
JIM: "This is a really nice car. In case you haven't noticed, this is a Corolla. Okay?"
KATIE: "It's all right, it is a very nice car."
JIM: "So you're not gonna freak out."