Just dont play mind games

[Who Dares Win]

Im talking about that phase in which you feel like she is playing games and you do some yourself as well.

Lets say that she pretends she doesnt care about you only to get the upper hand so you pretend you dont care either as some kind of emotional revenge.
Stuff like this more or the less.

Well Im getting the opinion that its not worth, it doesnt lead to anything good while sucking energy out of you and your nerves.
Most of the time it becomes some kind of d1ck measuring contest about whos the strongest one in emotional terms.

I start to believe that the best attitute is being honest, and I mean honest in your intention with a firm and secure direction, nothing afc like being over romantic or emotional about it nor being apologetic or accommodating.
Just be a man who talks clear with no fear or weakness but honesty.

The reason for that is no relationship is gonna be enjoyable from a struggle nor will probably even start, plus girls have so many guys around that whatever you are doing someone else is doing as well.

Second, sure most of the girls are cvnt no doubt about it but at the same time they follow a frame which has been inculcated in their head regarding to relationship and if you break that frame restoring the natural order of things, there are good chances it will be a breath of fresh air for her as well.

And if that doesnt work or she still try to mindfvck you just walk away with no doubt of possible different outcomes since all the cards were clear.

In the end is not so complicate, if two parts like each other game meant as not screwing up is more than enough while game meant as manipulating the relationship factors is useless if there is not some attraction and compatibility to begin with.

The more time pass and the more experience I have, the more Im convinced that what matters is your personal value and the avoidance of some major mistake with no need for particular games or hard attempts.

Be a man who knows what he wants, doesnt follow any alien script and is unapologetic and sure about his goal.

 

[floydb25]

Agreed. This applies to being an *******, as well. When you do these things - all youre going to do is attract crazies and *****es. This is the ONLY way to keep loser, dysfunctional, low self esteem women around. And, it wont change. Chaos and drama is all they know; create and respond to. Your entire relationship will be based around drama, games, control, etc - right from the outset.

I dont think a lot of people understand this; have low self esteem, co-dependancy and approval seeking issues themselves. Theyre placing loser women on a pedestal, because they cant attract them by being normal. So, they make them out to be something special; play games, change their persona into becoming full-fledged retarded *******s, and all these things - only to attract toxic people in droves. Theyre waving their sign in the air, saying "hey morons, come to me!" Then they complain that acting this way only attracts the bottom of the barrel (see: 90% of the posts on here). Then they lower themselves and complain even MORE. All while wondering why women are so bad. I hate people.

This is the same thing certain women do with bad boys and douche bags. Theyre all looking up to, and trying to gain the acceptance of LOSERS. Likely because theyre unattainable and delusional (ie, if youre not retarded, worthless, and shallow - youre beneath them - when the only ones not worth a damn is THEM).

But yea, all this crazy **** is unnecessary - unless you want to attract crazies yourself. Its actually a good way to weed them out - by NOT doing these things, and NOT dishing it back.

Youre always given a preview of things to come. Crazies LOVE to play games, start fights, cause drama, break up and get back together, fight for control... They NEED to be walking on eggshells and having that intense emotional feeling of uncertainty, neglect, abuse, abandonment, etc. Hence, why they are so attracted to bad boys, and seek them out over and over. They provide all these things.

So, if you HAVE to do these things, or they start doing them - youre about to enter Crazyville, Tennessee (I hear theres a lot of crazy people there). If this is familiar and comfortable territory, and you dont know anything else (ie, all the women you ever associated with were crazy) - YOU are probably crazy, too.

 

[zekko]

I start to believe that the best attitute is being honest, and I mean honest in your intention with a firm and secure direction, nothing afc like being over romantic or emotional about it nor being apologetic or accommodating.
Just be a man who talks clear with no fear or weakness but honesty.

I agree with this completely.

But yea, all this crazy **** is unnecessary - unless you want to attract crazies yourself. Its actually a good way to weed them out - by NOT doing these things, and NOT dishing it back.

Right. I know they teach you to play games here. But I have no patience for fake games, neither from myself nor from women. And I find that since I don't play games, the girls that are interested in me are the nice, decent girls -which are the ones I'm interested in.

That said, a lot of guys here ARE douchebags, and ARE interested in attracting the crazies. I notice these types of people kind of have their own little society, and they can all live in that world together. I certainly have no interest in being part of it.

 

[betheman]

Mind games are infuriating and really boring after a short while. they certainly are not condusive to a good relationship, therefore if either of you are into mind games, its going to be a bumpy ride.
That said, its obviously good to be aware of mind games, what is going on and how to defend against them, its easy to get sucked into a tennis rally type of mind game, tit for tat, that really weary at times.
as a guy, yeah its good to be up front and honest, the trouble with this approach it is rarely reciprocated and then its pretty much time to walk

 

[sylvester the cat]

This thread kind of renders this forum redundant then, doesn't it?

Although I must say the only times I have 'acted' like an bad boy is when I've not been interested in the girl.

And the only girls that have been interested in me when i've acted like an bad boy are extremely insecure ones which is why i wasn't interested in them in the first place.

 

[zekko]

This thread kind of renders this forum redundant then, doesn't it?

Not really. Just because you don't play games doesn't mean that things like attraction factors don't exist. It's helpful to know what those are. It's also helpful to know what areas are best to improve yourself in, and how not to be a needy, desperate, weak, pedestalizing, sissy boy AFC.

Oh, by the way, I've been told several times by younger girls that they like older men because they are more mature than guys their age. I think a big part of this is that I don't play games while the younger guys are playing bad boy and douchebag.

 

[sylvester the cat]

Everybody plays games.

I'm pretty sure you're not called Zekko in real life so you're not entirely being yourself on this forum, are you?

 

[Atom Smasher]

The principles on this site are only training wheels that should teach you how to balance properly and then be discarded in sense of degree.

Unfortunately mind games are a part of most women's makeup, and we need to know how to deal with them.

I find it effective to convey to a woman VERY early on that she is expendable. That nips a lot of problems in the bud and can prevent her from deploying her games on you.

You need to have such a strong frame that it is as obvious to you as the sky is blue, as real as the air you breathe. In other words, to question it would be unthinkable. She will either fit in and conform to you or fight you. If she fights, she's out. If she conforms, she is doing so ostensibly by choice.

On another note, I've often wondered about the jealousy game that is frequently touted on this board. I can't see how that wouldn't just become a tit-for-tat out of control spiral. That's why I'm always careful about not letting that genie out of the bottle.

 

[sylvester the cat]

This is where I get confused though. According to Sosuave itsself, a girl playing mind games is no more than a girl testing you (see below):

http://www.sosuave.com/romance/david/179-how-why-women-test-you.htm?forum

In this sense, isn't the mind game to be expected and isn't it our job to be able to get around them without succumbing to them?

one the one hand i am being told to walk away from a girl that plays mind games and on the other i am being told how to deal with them.

unless walking away from them IS a form of dealing with them as opposed to getting sucked into them and whining about them?

 

[betheman]

This is where I get confused though. According to Sosuave itsself, a girl playing mind games is no more than a girl testing you (see below):

http://www.sosuave.com/romance/david/179-how-why-women-test-you.htm?forum

In this sense, isn't the mind game to be expected and isn't it our job to be able to get around them without succumbing to them?

one the one hand i am being told to walk away from a girl that plays mind games and on the other i am being told how to deal with them.

unless walking away from them IS a form of dealing with them as opposed to getting sucked into them and whining about them?

Mind games/sh!t tests..they will happen, inevitable! its more about frequency and degree. too much or too often...walk is my advice. mind games should be deflecting the random punch from a girl, you should be able to control it and put her in her place. if you keep getting them or a few blows land, remove yourself.
another silly anaology but Ive had a couple of glasses of wine

 

[bigneil]

"People are inherently perverse. An easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one; we are only really excited about what is denied us, by what we cannot possess in full. Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction. Most people miscalculate and surrender too soon, worried that the other person will lose interest, or that giving the other what he or she wants will grant the giver a kind of power. The truth is the opposite: once you satisfy someone, you no longer have the initative, and you open yourself to the possibility that he or she will lose interest at the slightest whim. Remember: vanity is critical in love. Make your targets afraid that you may be withdrawing, that you may not really be interested, and you arouse their innate insecurity, their fear that as you have gotten to know them they have become less exciting to you. These insecurities are devastating. The, once you have made them uncertain of you and of themselves, reignite their hope, making them feel desired again. Hot and cold - such coquetry is perversely pleasurable, heightening interest and keeping the initatiave on your side. Never be put off by your target's anger; it is a sure sign of enslavement."

- Robert Greene (Art of Seduction page 71)

 

[Poonani Maker]

If you wanna see some of the Biatchiest, mind-gaming type women, enter into a cosmetic store like Ulta or Sephora, etc etc. Talk with or just overhear the girls speak, and you'll've have met the ultimate b!tchy mind-gaming conniving females in action. A beauty salon for females only/mostly will also do I guess. Them some 2-faced catty muthafvckas. I've had my fill of them and usually disregard any/everything they say lol

 

[sylvester the cat]

apparently when a woman 'tests' or plays mind games, she is testing to see if a man gives up without putting up a fight for her affections.

how does walking away fit into this? mightn't she see it as giving up without putting up a fight for her?

 

[JohnChops]

This may be the best thread ever. Ive been seeing it now lately, ive been acting more *******ish towards women and im getting the crazies, boy have i been getting crazy fvcking women. I think that just being a genuine man, focused on himself, is the correct way to go. Teasing/kino/etc all still apply and are fair game though

 

[zekko]

I find it effective to convey to a woman VERY early on that she is expendable. That nips a lot of problems in the bud and can prevent her from deploying her games on you.

I completely agree with this statement, that is exactly what I do. And it's not playing games because she really IS expendable. Here's an example:

Let's say I go out with a girl, and she decides she wants to play games with me by flirting with some other dude to make me jealous. I don't get all butthurt over this, that would be insecure. But when the date is over, I withdraw all attention and interest.

Then if she contacts me (which she will, if she is high interest), I tell her that "I am not attracted to women who flirt with other men while out on dates" and/or "I have no interest in having a girlfriend who flirts with other men while they are out with me". This will usually prompt an apology, and a vow to never do it again. I think this is actually a sort of relief to the girl, because then she knows I won't play games, and that I won't tolerate her playing games, so she won't have to play games. We are then free to enjoy each other on an honest and direct level.

This is not playing games, because if she does not want to live up to the standards of behavior I expect from a woman dating me, I really do lose interest in her and will move on to the next one. Either way, I win, because if she is doesn't meet my standards then she is not worth my time.

Notice the phrasing - there is no ultimatum, no expression of jealousy or insecurity, just a simple statement: Your behavior is causing me to lose attraction to you, and to lose interest in you. Which is true.

Despite what they say about "I am the prize", most guys here seem willing to dance around a minefield of sh!t tests to prove that they are worthy of the girl's interest. This is completely backwards. The girl needs to prove to you that she is worthy of your interest.

Now you may have to be a certain value level to pull this off. I know some of the younger guys here probably haven't built up thier value yet, and I know I went through times when I was younger when my value level was down. But I know I've heard it said somewhere that the best way to pass sh!t tests is not to play them at all.

By the way, check out Die Hard's post in this thread, he's saying pretty much the exact same thing:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=198652

 

[teakroy]

Point is this forum was created for picking up women at start. ( Reading old threads )


And picking up women in clubs and other lame circles is not a place to find a great girl. ( Because 70% of time you won't find the perfect woman in there. Unless you're a junkie who wants a junkie wife)

Pump n dump. Those women are TRASH. Bottom of social circle. Hell if you read the the autobiography of Slash from Guns N Roses he was explaining people in clubs, and who's in there.


Most of us guys here are searching for monogamous relationship with decent girl, using games which only turn on the TRASH women.


Being honest with confidence ( which should be REAL confidence) will filter out those trash women. Rejection ? Hell no ! FILTRATION !

You look like a wimp to her ? Who gives a **** for a trash woman who will be selling at Mc Donalds burger. Stupid ****s.

Follow your dreams, and be rejected billion times, find a proper woman and don't let her down. If she leaves you ,she was never worthy. Too many ****s to worry about.


This is what I realized last night.


Stop trying to attract trash for LTR.


Few things that nobody likes is exceptional neediness and bad hygiene.

Good post!:yes:

Trash is almost everywhere... I mean even a trash girl stay with you sooner or later this will be going wrong.. so i guess ... there are a lot of trashes there that want to suck only our time and give nothing that realy matters in exchange.