"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Just broke up after 4 months - BPD/Cluster B or typical 20 yr old? Head spinning...

Non Juan

Don Juan
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Hey, been on here recently reading about relationships & BPD's to try make sense of what just happened to me. I think it's a great forum for relationship issues as opposed to just picking up girls so it seems a good place to look for answers from you guys who are experienced in these matters.

It seems that there are a lot of similaities between the way young girls are by nature, and cluster B's/BPD's, and i'm really struggling as to whether my girl was nuts and I was in an unwinnable situation, or I messed up somewhere and it was an issue with me. In which case I want to address and resolve it so that I don't mess up with the next girl I fall for.

After reading up, and really thinking about her actions, i'm pretty sure she had a disorder, but at the same time I think maybe I just rubbed her the wrong way and she got her claws out and played me big time.

It could have been that she was just a young, very pretty, immature, testy girl who lost her initial high interest level, and I couldn't recover from it.

Or it could be that she had BPD or similar and the games and mind fking in the relationship were inevitable from the start.

The thing is i'm stuck in a conflict as to which it could be because there are so many similarities in behaviour between BPD's girls in general! Eg...

...We could say BPD's are very jealous, but so probably is a young girl in love.

We could also say perhaps a girl consistently trying to make you jealous, or being flakey could be traits of either.

And what about emotional distancing and pushing you away, this could be a BPD's fear responce to intimacy OR a girl losing interest and pulling back!

So i'm kinda stuck...

Can anyone here make some key distinctions between a young 'in love' girls' actions and those of one with a personality disorder like BPD?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Zarky

Master Don Juan
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really open-ended question, why don't you tell us what she did and some of the amateur psychiatrists here will try to tell you whether they think it's "normal" or not.
 
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