Journal of a late bloomer

[Lingham]

Hey all,

I am well on my way to becoming a 30 yr old virgin. (i'm 27 right now)
Laugh all you want, I had social anxiety, I focused on career and spirituality, but ultimatly none of that is an excuse. NOW i'm ready to do something about it.

I've always been about 10 years retarded when it comes to women.

THere is no time like the present to work **** out. And NOW that I've finished school and started my career, I REALLY must focus all my attention on getting this area of my life straightened out.

In the past whenever I made a full effort in something I always achieved my goals. So I don't see why this should be any different.

This will be my journal of efforts and transformation.

THE WAKE-UP CALL:
so for the past 6 months I was hanging out with a Taiwanese girl who had come to my city to improve her english. At first I was not very attracted to her and just wanted to practice some ****y and funnny and other stuff on her a bit.

Then at some point we had become such close friends that i felt attraction for her. But she would turn away when I tried to kiss her.

I however, still spent lots of time with her after this OBVIOUS sign of non-attraction. I even slept beside her in her bed the last 3 nights she was here. But no sex or lip kissing! (she would turn away or "wince" if I tried to kiss her lips)

Anyhow this is an embarrassing tale of complete wussyhood and One-itis. This girl now sends me lots of text messages and says she has feelings for me. (But of course she is back in Taiwan now). But I see it is too late. I really need to move on. She is still hung up on some guy who only spent a fraction of the time I did with her and she kissed him. She described him as "kind of arrogant". DAMN! He is the guy who is doing things RIGHT!

SO
THE PLAN:

I've dropped a wad to get David D's Advanced Dating program. It should arrive next week and I will study it hard. And try and do whatever they recommend.

I HATE noisy bars and can't talk to people or concentrate on conversation in a noisy atmosphere SO I need to meet girls in better settings. I am now looking at some courses and clubs to join to meet girls (and improve myself through what the courses teach). I will put myself on some online dating sites but mosly what I need is HARD EXPERIENCE. I need to get out there. Any suggestoins of places other than bars and danceclubs welcome.

I'm actually slim, muscular and often strangers tell me I look like Clive Owen (Sin City dude). So I realize it is really my personality and how women perceive me (status) that need tons of work. I also am an artist and work in animation (almost no women in this field) So I believe I have a lot to offer, but I need to be able to create attraction and not just good friends.


This will be my journal.

Any and all advice welcome. If you live in TORONTO let me know because we can talk about location specific strategies.

cheers,
Linguam

 

[warpy]

well i find myself at the same situations from time to time, tech studies no girls. what i do is when the time comes and i see any female that looks attracting i just try to talk to her, its been said here many times that you need to start with the boot camp stuff that actually works, even though i never did it the properway, just by looking at girls and not chickening out, smiling back, and talking to strangers males and females, your social skills will grow and you will find yourself comfortable talking to anyone, and before you know it you will be able to approach any girl you want to talk to, make her laugh and get her number, yeah its harder at first but after 10 tough times it gets easier.

also if the girl doesnt want you to kiss her, next her. if the girl wants to sleep with you from taiwan, make sure she comes over to your house lol. next her anyways.

i am such as yoruself hate bars, its cluttered and noisy but know that girls go there to give their numbers to strangers lol. you dont need to share your life story to get a number or laid.

you might not have wanted to get that advice, but i am offering it anyways cheers.

 

[decades]

Welcome Lingham and I admire your courage for coming here and putting yourself on the line. First is there any way that you friend is going to come back for a visit or is she gone permanently? If she is going to visit in the future, then I would continue to try and work on your skills with her. When she arrives you can take it from there.

Other than that I think you should just push against your fears. Get in touch with what you are really afraid of (with women) and push yourself to get in those situations and experience them and learn how to handle them. Your communication skills will be important here. Best of luck and welcome.

regards

 

[d9930380]

As for the girl from Taiwan. Don't try and get back with her. She sees you as an AFC and that isn't going to change, she's not going to have some awakening where she realises whe wants the nice guy. Chances are if she does show some interest she just wants to use you, maybe to pay for a plane ticket etc.

Realise (and I think you have) that you've been going about it all wrong and seek to be different with the next girls you meet.