Jealousy

[Wiesman44]

This girl I'm dating now has a sh#tload of guy friends. I was never really jealous of her going out w/ other guys, but my friend told me today:

"watch out for 'Jen' . My friend told me she wanted to hang out with him tonight. So he left a voicemail for her. "


I talked to Jen tonight and asked what she was doing online, and she goes " X wanted to chiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllll"


I know Dj's shouldnt be jealous, and I dont want to feel jealous, but its a natural freaking reaction.

What do I do in a case like this ? I mean, how do I curb my jealousy. I think its b/c I havent had sex with her yet and Im worried im going to lose her before I do have sex with her.

So give me some advice on how not to be jealous guys.

Just telling me there's plenty of other chix out there, doesnt help much. I really want to play the roll as the dj, but i cant surpass this damn jealous barrier.

 

[italostud]

If you're prone to getting jealous, as it appears you are, you're with the wrong kind of girl.

You already care way too much about this chick.

Turn your emotions off and everything will be better.

BTW, find another girl or two.

 

[JonJack]

If you wanna rid yourself of or control the feeling of jealousy you've got to start understanding that this feeling all stems from the fact that you fear losing. This fear of losing goes hand in hand with your lack of self confidence and self esteem.

If indeed you fear losing her before you've had the chance to have sex with her, you are putting way too much into picking this chick up.

If you feel this whole jealousy thing is becoming a problem, you better not look at it as being a natural thing to you. If you do, you might not do anything to curb this feeling.

One last thing. A DJ would never put so much stock in one girl. A DJ would never be afraid of losing one girl and moving on to another. A DJ would get what he's looking for and not just continue walking into a brick wall.

 

[tristan22]

I get jealous for no reason sometimes. I hate some people just by the way they look....wtf?

 

[Wiesman44]

JonJack, if u read my post, I know what a DJ is and how he should act.


But its a lot tougher when you are experiencing feelings of jealousy and there's nothing you can do about it.


What the hell can I do about it ?

 

[JonJack]

Do you even understand why you feel jealous? Do you like that feeling? Do you want to give in to that feeling?

Don't confuse "I know what I need to do but I just can't bring myself to do it" with "there's nothing that can be done about it".

I have felt jealousy before. I know it makes a person feel like shyt. I understood what I was jealous about and why I felt that way. I did not like it. It made me seem weak and afraid. People around me noticed it, especially her. Worse part was that I behaved and felt that way so that I could get the girl back but in reality what I was doing was actually moving me in the opposite direction.

So, can you actually bring yourself to achieve what you want? Or are you going to just let yourself continue doing what you feel in the hopes that a miracle would happen and you would be happy?

 

[sk24iam]

Jealousy is a *****. Everytime I get jealous over a girl I think to myself, "Don't worry about it, theres no reason to be jealous." Now even though you may convince yourself not to be jealous, it probably will still be in the back of your mind. The trick is not to show your jealousy. When a girl I'm seing tells me she is hanging out with some guy, I tell her thats fine, I'll be jsut hanging out with so and so(some other girl) for the night. Usually that makes her jealous and she'll cancel her orignal plans.

 

[defiancy]

better forget about your emotions or else you'll lose your power

if you have a variety of girls you wouldn't need to worry because if one messes with you then you have 7 more to choose from

hope you're not developing oneitis
-have some more variety

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by italostud
If you're prone to getting jealous, as it appears you are, you're with the wrong kind of girl.

You already care way too much about this chick.

Turn your emotions off and everything will be better.

BTW, find another girl or two.

It has nothing to do with the girl, jealousy is about a lack of ability to handle your feelings. You may say that you trust your partner, but actions speak louder than words.

Trust in others is a measure of the trust you have in yourself. If you don't trust yourself, you'll have trouble believing in others.

Acting jealous is similar to picking up soap in the shower. The harder you squeeze it, the more slippery it becomes. When you relax your hands, you can pick up the soap. Likewise, you can "squeeze" your partner away.

Ask yourself, "What's my payoff for being jealous? Is the payoff worth the sacrifice?" Jealous people are often looking for power, and jealousy is a way to command and control another person.

Do you know what you want that you don't have? Stop resenting what others have, and get what you want. Set goals and make a plan to reach them.