OK I gotta a real problem with jealousy. I'm dating a really good looking women right now and the jealousy bug is getting the best of me. I always get about the same time within a relationship. Everything she does (with out me) I start having feelings of jealousy. I don't mention it all the time, but sometimes I do. It makes me feel like I a fool. This weekend she is volunteering at a Power Networking Seminar. I got this unbelievable fear of her meeting someone rich and has his stuff together and wanting to be with that person (she's friendly and likes to talk to people, which of course drives me crazy). This whole jealousy thing is eating me alive. I see a therapist, but that not helping much (maybe I need a new one). This post is just the tip of the iceberg. She knows of my jealousy and I've been better lately, but I've had my moments in front of her. When she goes out with her friends I usually just drink myself to sleep. I read an article on sosauve.com that says that a women will be more attracted to you if you let her do what she wants (and not ask any questions). I kind of find that hard to believe. What do you guys think.
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jealousy-I NEED HELP
- Thread starter mongoose
- Start date
stormwriter
Senior Don Juan
Oh, this one is simple:
Either hire a private investigator, or just follow her around in disguise.
If she does something wrong, you catch her, then dump her!
Seriously though, jealousy is a big turn-off. The only POSITIVE thing i can think about jealousy is that you "were thinking of them"....
You have to decide in your head to CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR, or to continue worrying about it. It doesn't sound like you're too happy with your jealousy, so that leaves you ONE OPTION:
Change it. Stop it. Do SOMETHING.
Are you going to sit in your house all weekend with alcohol creating mock scenarios in your head of your girl meeting and consequently banging some rich guy?
Dude, that is going to drive you nuts. When left up to it's own devices, your brain will undoubtably think the WORST.
Jealousy is a form of insecurity. What are you insecure about? Are you afraid you aren't good enough for her? She's too good looking for you?
You might want to get to the ROOT of the problem first, which is your insecurity.
Let's say your girl meets some rich guy and dumps you.
GOOD!
Seriously, that is GREAT!
You weeded out a gold-digging bit** who was going to sap your money and run your poor little through the wringer anyways. So, better sooner than later, right?
Oh, and if you haven't figured it out already, DO NOT LET YOUR GIRL KNOW YOU ARE JEALOUS. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE STILL FAIRLY EARLY ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP. It's one thing to be jealous if it's your wife of 5 years, cause then you could beat the crap out of her and scare her into not being around other men.
OK, that was a joke.
Dude, you have to do something. Just STOP STOP STOP being jealous. I know that sounds easy, but man, whenever you get a crazy thought that she's cheating on you, replace it with the thought of a dancing banana, or something. Just STOP thinking about it.
"I read an article on sosauve.com that says that a women will be more attracted to you if you let her do what she wants (and not ask any questions). I kind of find that hard to believe. "
OK, well lock her in the basement then.
Doesn't that sound less desirable to her than not controlling her and exposing YOUR insecurities?
You gotta do something dude, cause you are being weak. You gotta know that YOU ARE THE PRIZE, and that if you are keeping this chick happy, then SHE WON'T EVEN THINK OF LEAVING YOU FOR ANOTHER DUDE.
I don't know what else to say. You gotta stop caring, in a way. That is, unless you like feeling like a fool, and drinking yourself to sleep over a chick.
Either hire a private investigator, or just follow her around in disguise.
If she does something wrong, you catch her, then dump her!
Seriously though, jealousy is a big turn-off. The only POSITIVE thing i can think about jealousy is that you "were thinking of them"....
You have to decide in your head to CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR, or to continue worrying about it. It doesn't sound like you're too happy with your jealousy, so that leaves you ONE OPTION:
Change it. Stop it. Do SOMETHING.
Are you going to sit in your house all weekend with alcohol creating mock scenarios in your head of your girl meeting and consequently banging some rich guy?
Dude, that is going to drive you nuts. When left up to it's own devices, your brain will undoubtably think the WORST.
Jealousy is a form of insecurity. What are you insecure about? Are you afraid you aren't good enough for her? She's too good looking for you?
You might want to get to the ROOT of the problem first, which is your insecurity.
Let's say your girl meets some rich guy and dumps you.
GOOD!
Seriously, that is GREAT!
You weeded out a gold-digging bit** who was going to sap your money and run your poor little through the wringer anyways. So, better sooner than later, right?
Oh, and if you haven't figured it out already, DO NOT LET YOUR GIRL KNOW YOU ARE JEALOUS. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE STILL FAIRLY EARLY ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP. It's one thing to be jealous if it's your wife of 5 years, cause then you could beat the crap out of her and scare her into not being around other men.
OK, that was a joke.
Dude, you have to do something. Just STOP STOP STOP being jealous. I know that sounds easy, but man, whenever you get a crazy thought that she's cheating on you, replace it with the thought of a dancing banana, or something. Just STOP thinking about it.
"I read an article on sosauve.com that says that a women will be more attracted to you if you let her do what she wants (and not ask any questions). I kind of find that hard to believe. "
OK, well lock her in the basement then.
Doesn't that sound less desirable to her than not controlling her and exposing YOUR insecurities?
You gotta do something dude, cause you are being weak. You gotta know that YOU ARE THE PRIZE, and that if you are keeping this chick happy, then SHE WON'T EVEN THINK OF LEAVING YOU FOR ANOTHER DUDE.
I don't know what else to say. You gotta stop caring, in a way. That is, unless you like feeling like a fool, and drinking yourself to sleep over a chick.
Yeah that's good advice.
She already aware of my jealousy, is it too late. Like I said, I've been acting better lately. Some things just eat me up though.
I'm not sure how I got this way, but I have been sh**tted on before. That might have something to do with it...maybe. Everytime she goes out (which really isn't that much) I can't stop thinking about her and crazy scenarios. I'll take your advice and try to just stop. I know that will drive me crazy, but no crazy than I am now.
She already aware of my jealousy, is it too late. Like I said, I've been acting better lately. Some things just eat me up though.
I'm not sure how I got this way, but I have been sh**tted on before. That might have something to do with it...maybe. Everytime she goes out (which really isn't that much) I can't stop thinking about her and crazy scenarios. I'll take your advice and try to just stop. I know that will drive me crazy, but no crazy than I am now.
stormwriter
Senior Don Juan
Mongoose,
Just take your jealousy as a good sign that you like this chick. She's WORTH getting jealous over. Now that you have determined she's a good looking quality chick, you know that you don't want to blow this.
Try to think of how things can blow it with her, and don't do (or minimize) those things. So, at least you know that jealousy CAN piss women off and lower their interest level.
Have you ever had a jealous girlfriend? Sucks, doesn't it? They bi**h and harp and nag on you, even when you haven't cheated. It makes you want to cheat anyways, cause she already thinks you have cheated!
I understand that it's impossible to NOT think about it. But, it IS POSSIBLE to not let HER know that its bugging you (when it is).
Its like that dumb duck analogy on the pond: it's just casually strolling along, all peaceful on the water, but underneath it's feet are paddling like crazy.
So, just don't let her see it.
Oh, another thing: Try and figure out if it's a test, like she's trying to make you jealous for a reason, or if it's just you worrying about nothing. That's something to think about...
Oh, and isn't the past tense of s**t: SHAT?? haha
Just take your jealousy as a good sign that you like this chick. She's WORTH getting jealous over. Now that you have determined she's a good looking quality chick, you know that you don't want to blow this.
Try to think of how things can blow it with her, and don't do (or minimize) those things. So, at least you know that jealousy CAN piss women off and lower their interest level.
Have you ever had a jealous girlfriend? Sucks, doesn't it? They bi**h and harp and nag on you, even when you haven't cheated. It makes you want to cheat anyways, cause she already thinks you have cheated!
I understand that it's impossible to NOT think about it. But, it IS POSSIBLE to not let HER know that its bugging you (when it is).
Its like that dumb duck analogy on the pond: it's just casually strolling along, all peaceful on the water, but underneath it's feet are paddling like crazy.
So, just don't let her see it.
Oh, another thing: Try and figure out if it's a test, like she's trying to make you jealous for a reason, or if it's just you worrying about nothing. That's something to think about...
Oh, and isn't the past tense of s**t: SHAT?? haha
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Tell your gf "I could tell that my jealousy bothered you, so I've decided to be more trusting of you from now on."
But, the first thing that you have to do is this : Anytime that you start wondering what your girl is up to, or is late, or whatever triggers your jealousy, that you immediately think of how she is probably thinking of you. Then, find something else to do in the meanitime.
But, the first thing that you have to do is this : Anytime that you start wondering what your girl is up to, or is late, or whatever triggers your jealousy, that you immediately think of how she is probably thinking of you. Then, find something else to do in the meanitime.