Well dude, you have to develop a connection with a girl in order to really feel she's something special.
Realize, there's a difference between love and just being really attracted. Love is something you share, attraction (for men) is based on traits/characteristics you observe. For example us men find beauty, health, flirting, kindness, etc. attractive, and when we get emotionally attached to a girl we feel like we're in love.
Infatuation and emotional attachment create an illusive feeling that tells us we're in love. No. Bullshyt. Love isn't like that; love is a two-way street.
It's actually a good thing that you aren't falling hard for girls anymore because it means you are less likely to be infatuated (I would consider this a strong DHV,) and you don't get emotionally attached easily.
Love is something that really takes investment, but with love there is usually a sense of mutual understanding and security.
So all in all, back in your AFC days, you confused attraction with love.
It's that simple man, but now you're a better man!
Either that or you're insecure about your feelings, but I STRONGLY hope it's not that way. I doubt you're like this, but you did use the word "suffering" which implicates an emotional resistance that you've put up to shield yourself from getting painfully rejected.
Now that you know though, you can kick that feeling! No sweat.