needimprovement250
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2021
- Messages
- 519
- Reaction score
- 180
- Age
- 32
I just learned this the hard way a couple weeks ago. I spent the Christmas season working at a tree lot and it was mostly male coworkers, which is to be expected because of what type of work it is. But there was one girl in my age group who worked as a cashier. We didn’t talk beyond her saying hello, but one day it was raining and I was hanging price tags on the new trees. She walked by and said that you’re getting soaked do you want to come take a break? My response was no that’s okay it doesn’t bother me. I looked up and she was still standing there silent and said well don’t get too wet. It took me less than 5 seconds to realize how much of an idiot I was. She could’ve been giving me an opportunity to get out of the rain and talk to her and what I said might have made her think that this guy would rather get rained on instead of getting out of the rain and talking to me, and made her feel rejected.
I really think I need to seek outside help because I had my confidence damaged and repeatedly bruised while growing up to where I ended up avoiding women during my formative years and I’m now 30 with no experience. I still catch myself acting very avoidant towards women, I won’t look directly at them because I don’t want to come off as a creep who stares, but I realize that there’s a difference between staring and a passing glance. I will also not initiate conversation most of the time and will pull out my phone and look at it if a female coworker or classmate walks by. From doing this, I’ve found that this makes women feel uncomfortable and singled out by you. I did this with the girl I just mentioned and I noticed she acted differently towards me than she did towards everyone else, this was after the rain incident to be clear. This is because I would talk to everyone else but act avoidant towards her. I’m really starting to think I should talk to a therapist or something to get over this because my upbringing ingrained this behavior into me.
I really think I need to seek outside help because I had my confidence damaged and repeatedly bruised while growing up to where I ended up avoiding women during my formative years and I’m now 30 with no experience. I still catch myself acting very avoidant towards women, I won’t look directly at them because I don’t want to come off as a creep who stares, but I realize that there’s a difference between staring and a passing glance. I will also not initiate conversation most of the time and will pull out my phone and look at it if a female coworker or classmate walks by. From doing this, I’ve found that this makes women feel uncomfortable and singled out by you. I did this with the girl I just mentioned and I noticed she acted differently towards me than she did towards everyone else, this was after the rain incident to be clear. This is because I would talk to everyone else but act avoidant towards her. I’m really starting to think I should talk to a therapist or something to get over this because my upbringing ingrained this behavior into me.