It Is Easy For Most Women To Move On

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Think its important to mention women in most cases usually have much stronger social circles than men do and these social circles could likely win a Nobel prize for their victimisation therapies

Nothing will be the chicks fault , there will be lot of " you go girls " and "Slay hunny" blah blah the ex BF was a deadbeat she can do so much better yada yada

Men will kind of get a slap on the back maybe a half hearted offer of a beer in a dive bar and then left to get over it alone

I mean when my 4 year LTR fell apart, I don't think anyone so much as batted an eye lid , my Ex was having 24/7 counselling by her toxic friends and parents

I mean "mens mental health" is a heavily virtue signalled topic on social media , but in reality theres not that much support for any type of emotional trauma out there

It is literally just " your a man suck it up and get on with it "

its also a lot harder for older men to find new prospects which can lead to long spells of loneliness and sexlessness

Most Women can fire up a couple of swipe apps and have dates lined up within 24 hours if they wished too

So yea basically what I'm getting at is , theres a much more clear pathway for a woman to get over a breakup

some distillation of truth. There is a narrative among women that if a man really wanted to date, he could. He could even get a dime piece without issue. This isn't true, most single men would like to date and have a supply of reliable ass especially during winter season when the loneliness and dry spells cut deeper. The harsh truth today in most metro cities in the USA is that the average man isn't good enough for the average woman. I see this spilling over to Mexico too. What’s the first thing a chick asks you “what do you do”. She don’t care bout your name unless she is genuinely an uncut diamond in the dirt. Even current dating can’t escape h0eflation.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I know that you're afraid of women and the power they seem to sway over you, 'Mr. Alpha'. 'Weaponise men's primal instincts against them'.

Don't try to make this a 'battle between the sexes' when you're just incapable of the emotional self-control and maturity to deal with feeble manipulations on the most basic level imaginary.

The basic knowledge that you can be manipulated by others to do their bidding should've made you skeptical, not fearful.

Many women manipulate others via tears, and many men do likewise with anger/threat displays. Such has been life, likely from the beginning

 

[Vanderdonck]

Many women manipulate others via tears, and many men do likewise with anger/threat displays. Such has been life, likely from the beginning

True. Difference should be this.

Woman: "He manipulated meeeee." [friends and orbiters hug her.]

Man: "Sh*t, I let myself get played. That was dumb."

 

[nismo-4]

No need to overcomplicate it and make it a philosophical treatise.

Most men are clingy betas who hang on for dear life to any kind of pu$$y they can latch onto.

Women bounce back quicker simply because they always have more options, which means they can get over it quicker.

Women always have in their mind "Ah if this doesn't work, I could just DM one of my IG followers." Most men can't really do that unless they're blue-checked lit millionaires.

 

[SW15]

They never move on from that ONE guy. That meme is correct but incomplete. Women can only really love 1 man in a lifetime. If he breaks up with her she will always compare every subsequent man to him. It will be very difficult to snap her out of it. The only way to do this is to be so much better than the ghost of the other guy.

Yes they can move on quickly from 99% of men. This is because they are still not over the man they really wanted. This is why it is so important to be with the girl you imprinted on. Be with the girl that gave you her highest score. You break it you keep it type of thing.

It's always relevant to remind people of @Desdinova and his High Score Theory post. I agree with that idea too.

High Score Theory

Ever notice how women can just write off a guy and treat him like he was only a tiny blip on her radar? Well that's because he was. The more sexually experienced a woman becomes, the more accustomed she is to just throwing guys away. Every new guy she dates seems to earn mediocre to low interest...

www.sosuave.net

That's because women break up emotionally with a man months before they do so physically.

By the time they break up with him physically they are mentally done with him whereas the guy is blindsided many times.

Yes. This is relevant in medium to longer term relationships (1 year+).

It's why I practice stoicism, because it brings me peace when I expect the unexpected; nothing truly surprises me anymore

Any day I could get fired
Any day someone I love could die
Any day there could be a natural disaster
Any day I could find out my spouse is cheating or leaving

It forces me to be completely unattached, but at the same time everything is more beautiful because of it. Mundane moments turn into future memories.

Stoicism is a good idea.

Employers today have zero loyalty and are notorious for doing mass layoffs without zero notice.

The typical woman today is arguably as bad as a typical white collar corporate employer on her lack of loyalty too.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Women don't have force, they have manipulation

Crotch Rot vs Gonorrhea, hombre... Same phenomena. From '17-today, we here in The Post-Industrial West have been pissing away irreplaceable minutes of our lives, desperately trying to prove each other wrong at all costs, rather than honestly sharing thoughts and ideas

 

[Manure Spherian]

This is so true.

Not to generalize, but if a relationship is going sour women are more likely to be mentally checked out weeks, even months in advance. So by the time the break up happens they move on faster, perhaps because they've already dealt with the aftermath of the breakup. They've mourned the end of the relationship while it was still happening. So while it appears women move on quicker, in reality they suffer just as much. On the other hand, guys tend to break up and then feel the sting of it after, when the girl has already moved on. To him, it appears as though the woman is cold or heartless, but they both just had a different timeline of grief.

Can you give the female perspective on why women stay in these burnt-out relationships for weeks or months? I mean, I think I know why, but the female perspective would be good to read.

 

[SW15]

After dealing with an "Alpha" some women (especially ones that are ready for children) are more then happy to go the "beta provider" route as they can't gamble again with the wall fast approaching. They reframe you as an azzhole (reinforced by social circle), bury the emotions and move on. And I'm sure this manifests in problems for the new guy down the road. Don't be that guy.

This can happen. There are women who realize that they aren't going to get a commitment out of high tier men and then they accept a lower tier beta male in order to get the wedding and the babies.

This is likely what happened with Courtney Ryan, who settled for dweeb with money Teddy Baldassarre after numerous alpha/sigma men pumped and dumped her. She had the wedding in 2023 and will likely start a family soon. Courtney Ryan did this earlier in life than the typical woman.

In my social circle, there was a couple formed like this, where the woman met the man in a sports bar cheering on sports teams around age 30 in the latter part of the 2010s. She was attractive and he was mid (bit of a dweebish look). It is likely that prior to when they met, she was ran through by a lot of top tier guys and he didn't get much attention.

There will be problems for him down the line. He is beta and she's a hottie. It's a somewhat challenging interaction to explain, but she was able to get in her "Last Call" babies in her mid-30s. She chose to get in "Last Call" babies with a committed beta rather than chase the highs and dopamine hits on the penis carousel into her 30s and likely remain childless.

On the other hand, if you didn't rock her world, she will get over you in a heartbeat.

This is true. If it's the combination of a beta male (most men are) and a shorter relationship with no entanglements (12-18 months or less, no children, never lived together), then the woman isn't going to think much about it after the end.

if a relationship is going sour women are more likely to be mentally checked out weeks, even months in advance. So by the time the break up happens they move on faster, perhaps because they've already dealt with the aftermath of the breakup. They've mourned the end of the relationship while it was still happening. So while it appears women move on quicker, in reality they suffer just as much. On the other hand, guys tend to break up and then feel the sting of it after, when the girl has already moved on. To him, it appears as though the woman is cold or heartless, but they both just had a different timeline of grief.

I think women go through this process of checking out slowly and gradually more in longer term relationships with more entanglements. Entanglements are things like children and living together. A longer, non-marital and no cohabitation relationship might experience this. It's difficult to pinpoint where that moment would be in that type of relationship. I think it is somewhere around 12-18 months. I could imagine a woman doing something like what @saige describes in a 2 year long relationship with no children and no living together happening.

If it's a shorter, non-marital relationship with no children, the woman will go through this process much faster, if at all.

The other thing that is happening now for women is greater abundance. Since online dating got de-stigmatized 20 years ago, women have been able to find new partners faster. A woman starting from nearly scratch in her romantic life after a breakup can't find the same number of options from the combination of real life orbiters, 2-3 nights per week at bars, and getting approached in non-bar venues as compared to what she would get from swipe apps. She can also supplement her swipe apps with social media DMs too.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Quality advice

 

[saige]

Can you give the female perspective on why women stay in these burnt-out relationships for weeks or months?

Sure!

Well, IMO there are a variety of reasons why she'd stay despite being burnt out/losing all attraction. One of the biggest ones being stability. She may have decided that even though she's checked out mentally, the benefits of commitment and having someone steady by her side outweigh the cost of leaving. She may crave validation and getting a stream of compliments from her partner is less effort and boosts her self-esteem. The woman may also view him as being higher-status objectively, and stays because she doesn't want to take the chance if she becomes single again.

This isn't a comprehensive list of course, but generally, this is why women stay in bad relationships. Its honestly not too different from some men. They're lonely, scared of being by themselves, and want to be assured that they have romantic companionship no matter what.

It doesn't make sense to me because I'd rather be single than be in a relationship where I'm constantly on edge. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years and so far, smooth sailing, we both are low drama people who are fairly good at communication.

I believe most issues arise in a relationship when there's boredom or stress. Those are the two big killers.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Can you give the female perspective on why women stay in these burnt-out relationships for weeks or months? I mean, I think I know why, but the female perspective would be good to read.

Guys, it is not rocket science

They'll keep you around for validation, the eventual lay, and some sort of security...

...Until she finds another dude.

They can't live without it, so they will keep you around, that's a fact.

But those days where you are left wondering where is she, why is she distant, non respondant, etc...
She is vetting for other dudes. This process happen of course online, and in friends night out and such.

And you can bet your azz, she is doing it.

By the minute she finds a suitable replacement, she swings. That's monkey branching.

She won't leave one branch before holding on to another.

I'm not calling them slvts or anything. Most of them won't commit to fvck the other dude until they dump you, because they don't want to be seen as slvts, even by their own selfs. I'm saying most, not all. But that is the process.

That is why the best thing for you to do is as soon as you see these signs, you call it off. If it does not change, you dump her azz.

Of course she will find another suitor, but that's not your problem anymore, and you won't be left sucking your toe.

Bottomline: The Book of Pook - Lesson 14: Always have a backup chick

Having a backup chick(s) works because if/when she begins with this behaviour, you change your focus to the next chick.
It actually works wonders, because then you start growing distant, that's actually attractive for the first chick. She thinks she lost a good thing.

There a many writings about this in this forum. This one hits the spot:

Imagine her anxiety level like an EMPTY GLASS.

Once she dumps you, she usually has a little bit of anxiety. If you start to cry and blow up her phone, she TRUSTS HER DECISION and she feels no anxiety towards it. She looks at you and you are done.

The DEAL IS SEALED.

However, if on the other hand, you don't cry and you walk away with a big smile, she will wonder what happened. Give it a week, and that "glass" will start to fill up. Her anxiety level is going to rise.

Then she will try to call you. You don't answer. Unconsciously she starts to think you are better than she is and she lost a good thing. Her anxiety and fear of loss go through the roof.

When she sees you with another woman, jealousy emotions will kick in and she will lose her mind.

She WILL and i repeat. SHE WILL GO THROUGH A CRYSIS PHASE.

You let that anxiety stay at a peak.

Her anxiety will be overwhelming to her and she will start to slowly build up other emotions toward you.

When a woman is given EXTREMELY strong emotions from a man, like ANXIETY or HAPPINESS or FEAR, or any other, she will begin to think she is in LOVE WITH HIM.

Yes.

You read that right. You will make her feel high anxiety levels and she will start to think she is in love with you after a while.

Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? But that is the way the human mind works.

All these discussions regarding abundance for women, should be applied for us as well. Go for many, and don't fall for the trap.

Easier said then done.

Cheers guys!

 

[Manure Spherian]

Guys, it is not rocket science

It isn’t. I wanted to see if a woman would spill the beans.

 

[jhonny9546]

Very interesting. Really.

And it reminds me a lot of what I read a long time ago about keeping a monogamous relationship alive.

The Lazy Way to Stay in Love | Reuniting

web.archive.org

Subtle gestures every day. Physical contact.

That's why it doesn't take much to become strangers.

Out of sight, out of mind.

At least for women


ps: btw, Just reading the article, you could find a list of things, that really look like beta and AFC behaviour.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

It is biological imperative - women are supposed to bring children to this world - therefore they need to have more practical approach to dating men (once the appropriate male is captured, usually the children are brought to life). If the man is lost, female either misses him (if it was arguably the top SMV male she could ever capture) or not so much (if the next man is of superior SMV than the previous one). Thus what we tend to call "alpha-widow" does not really match the actual situation as in modern society alpha-widows are usually women past their prime (+25-28) which were long time together with high SMV man that was eventually lost to her (alas it is actually much easier for a woman to accept the death of the lover than lover leaving her for another female, as the second situation means she stopped being good enough). It is twice as painful as she knows the best years she had were invested in the lost prospect

So most of "alpha-widows" are widows only metaphorically and what every following man is unfairly dealing with are female's own issues. There's always additional risk that alpha-widow will monkey branch back to her former lover even for ONS if opportunity shall arise.