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Is this uncommon am i weird?

Ryan Adams

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As yall know i was ghosted by a chick whom a really liked. Ive never clicked with a female like her so it was almost to good to be true. After 4 months of hanging out 3-4 times a week i was randomly ghosted one day. I have ana amazing genuine gf now whom is awesome and funny smart makes good money great sex etc. But we dont click like i did with ghoster chick. I 100% would never take ghoster chick back that would be an incredibly dumb decision. But i think about her almost every day. And when someone i know says they say her that wave still comes over me a little bit. The sharp edge of being ghosted sucked at first but its dull now and i dont want her back but i still would like to just have a chat with her or anything. Ive said before apparently she did same thing to guy who she basically ghosted me for. Didnt bang him and never let him fck. Not being a hater but this dude was fatter uglier had less money and was way trashier but i think he would buy her anything and by the way he looked i cant see him gettin laid often and i think she preyed on that. Or who the fck knows maybe they just clicked better. But what do yall think is wrong with this girl. She did come off as ive said before super to herself and had a very sweet personality almost innocent like. But her actions show otherwise obviously. Why in the fck am i atill thinking about this crazy broad?
 

Chi Town

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Either she lost interest over time or she met another guy.

Your going to continue thinking about her until some time as went by, time heals all wounds.

Keep meeting women
 

oldmanofthesea

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Look at it this way: Even if she didn't ghost you, the reason she would have given you would likely not have helped you understand any better. When women leave you, they don't give you an honest reason 9/10 times because they either don't want to hurt your feelings, don't want to risk getting into an argument/debate over it (since they already made up their mind and know nothing you say will change it), or because they themselves don't actually know why they lost attraction to you - they simply know they aren't into you anymore.

It really sucks because as men, we are problem solvers and we want to know exactly what happened so we know how much of it was just her issues and how much of it we were responsible for. Knowing this would make it easier to accept and understand and then work on ourselves to improve. But we usually don't get these needed inputs so all we can do is continue moving forward and never looking back.

It doesn't surprise me that you still think about her like that. It will take time. And you will find another girl, or two or ten, who you click with equally or more, and when you do, it will help you forget about her. In the meantime, just keep moving forward. If the current girl you are seeing isn't knocking your socks off then you shouldn't be in a committed relationship with her. It should be casual so you can see additional girls at the same time until you find the one you click with and decide you want to get more serious with.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Yes @LARaiders85 that's how it was with my clinically diagnosed BPD ex-wife. Took me a lot of time to figure out which complaints she had about me were valid and which were not. Fortunately, my ex wife was the only one who did that and the other women who have broken things off with me haven't been ugly about it. I'm sure it will happen again though, but I tend to avoid the types of women who seem likely to do that kind of thing though you never can tell.
 

Ryan Adams

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Either she lost interest over time or she met another guy.

Your going to continue thinking about her until some time as went by, time heals all wounds.

Keep meeting women
She met another guy. But i heard the new guy she did the same thing to. Lived in his house still didnt fck him etc... she ghosted him and did same thing she did to me to him. i have a gf now who is great so im good on that aspect i just find it odd i continue to even care to see her
 

Ryan Adams

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Truth is, after looks men probably put an engaging personality near the top of the list. The issue is that a woman with looks and an engaging personality is essentially a master seductress due to her high demand, so yeah hard to keep around. On the flip side, I've experienced several women throw great chemistry down the toilet bc my looks/money/status weren't up to par, so consider that stuff just isn't a top priority to women.
I get that. Thing is this chick isnt that hot has no body and 0 ass lol. The new sap who she was using was fat ugly and a drunk. Me and her just has very similiar personalities and clicked very well which is why i fell so damn hard.
 

Ryan Adams

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Look at it this way: Even if she didn't ghost you, the reason she would have given you would likely not have helped you understand any better. When women leave you, they don't give you an honest reason 9/10 times because they either don't want to hurt your feelings, don't want to risk getting into an argument/debate over it (since they already made up their mind and know nothing you say will change it), or because they themselves don't actually know why they lost attraction to you - they simply know they aren't into you anymore.

It really sucks because as men, we are problem solvers and we want to know exactly what happened so we know how much of it was just her issues and how much of it we were responsible for. Knowing this would make it easier to accept and understand and then work on ourselves to improve. But we usually don't get these needed inputs so all we can do is continue moving forward and never looking back.

It doesn't surprise me that you still think about her like that. It will take time. And you will find another girl, or two or ten, who you click with equally or more, and when you do, it will help you forget about her. In the meantime, just keep moving forward. If the current girl you are seeing isn't knocking your socks off then you shouldn't be in a committed relationship with her. It should be casual so you can see additional girls at the same time until you find the one you click with and decide you want to get more serious with.
Yes this makes sense. And my new girl has all of the qualities i need in a woman and we get along good just not as good as ex ghoster chick. I do like her alot im just as you said not blown away.
 

Ryan Adams

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The ghoster girl never berated me or anything like that. She came off as very sweet as ive said. But in the beginning i had a gut feeling not to get involved with her. I just think she was a big bs'er i mean her excuse a few times were im going through family issues and im super stressed out... plus the fact that we didnt have sex in those 4 months of hanging out.. when she would get drunk she would hold my hand and cling on me so as you see it would confuse me. Is what she did fcked up or am i just being salty?
 
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