Is this good, bad or what?

[jcb1772]

Ok first off, I’m only a high school freshman, and I’ve never had a gf. But there’s this girl I like at school a ton. A month or 2 ago, I started making a lot of eye contact with her in the halls and stuff, so it seemed kinda like we had something trying to start in a way. But I, being my typical shy self, didn’t do much else to advance…except have a few very small conversations here and there in one of my classes with her, but nothing special. The problem is, now things have started to get real awkward between us. Every time we pass by, we both notice each other but now try to avoid eye contact. If we catch each other making eye contact, one or both of us will quickly turn away, and I can definitely tell she gets tense when she passes me. I get real tense when I see her too, dunno if she notices that or not. Either way, it’s gotten to be very awkward, and seems to be getting worse. I didn’t even do anything (or did I?), which makes me very confused. But then whenever I’m sitting near her in class, she always plays with her ear/earring closest to me (one of the telltale signs I’ve read of interest). Now I don’t know if that rule applies when a guy is just NEAR a girl rather than talking to her…if it doesn’t then forgot I mentioned that.

YES I’m very aware I’ve made myself look unconfident, and I realize I need to get some balls soon (saving some of you the trouble to tell me that ). I hate that, and I want to interact with her confidently for a change. So I got 2 questions. Is what I described about her a common sign of young, shy-girl interest? She IS pretty shy, and I hardly ever see her talking with other guys, so I’m hoping that her nervousness may be a good thing, but it’s hard to tell. Second, is it too late for me to try to approach her? I really want to, and every time I chicken out speaking to her I feel awful. She’s probably losing interest…but surely there’d be renewed hope if I go up to her and ask her something nice (like what she did over Thanksgiving, etc) when school starts again, right?

Help appreciated.
-Justin

 

[Thraxeh]

Originally posted by jcb1772
if I go up to her and ask her something nice (like what she did over Thanksgiving, etc) when school starts again, right?

thats it

that will give you yeaps of things to talk about. make sure u have something to say about ur thanksgiving.

 

[jcb1772]

Yeah that's what I plan on doing, just hope I don't chicken out yet again (I'll be at myself if I do), and I hope she hasn't given up on me. Guess I'll find out. Thanks.

 

[Smoothaswetsoap]

If I were you, I would go and just talk to her casually. Make her laugh, and feel comfortable. Try to get her number and call her. If you wait too long, you will either be friends = no pvssy OR you will look like a b1tch = no pvssy. So, if you want to hook up or whatever with this girl, be a man and ask her out.

Think about this when you're about to do it. "I'm still a freshman, I still got more than 3 years in ahead of me. I will probably get more than 50 numbers, if I can't get one, oh well."

Ask for her number before someone else does.

 

[jcb1772]

Originally posted by Smoothaswetsoap
If I were you, I would go and just talk to her casually. Make her laugh, and feel comfortable. Try to get her number and call her. If you wait too long, you will either be friends = no pvssy OR you will look like a b1tch = no pvssy. So, if you want to hook up or whatever with this girl, be a man and ask her out.

Think about this when you're about to do it. "I'm still a freshman, I still got more than 3 years in ahead of me. I will probably get more than 50 numbers, if I can't get one, oh well."

Good advice.

My plan is to go up to her next Mon in the hallway and just (in friendly way) ask her what she did over Thanksgiving, and then let the conversation take its course from there. But since it'll be in just the limited time before class, I won't have time to invite her somewhere or get her # or anything.

I need a little help on something else though...let's say I get a warm response and plenty of interest signs during this brief talk. What am I supposed to do next? I'm thinking just start smiling and eye-contacting her more, as well as small-talk whenever I get the chance to. I'll also eventually want to take her to movies or something, but I don't feel comfortable inviting her to "come along" with me and my guy friends...because my friends are people she never communicates with, not to mention she IS shy around guys in general. Perhaps ask her to come, and say she should bring a buddy too? Or maybe before I invite her somewhere, just try to sit with her at lunch or something?

Again, this is all provided I go up to talk to her and it goes well. The response may be cold (and I'm prepared if it is), but I also want to be prepared for a GOOD response so that I don't make the common mistake of missing out on a relationship by not making the next move.

Thanks.
-JCB

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Holidays are a seduction gift from god!

Honestly . . .

STEP 1) - Have a great thanksgiving. Have at least one 1-2 minute funny story about what happened. Make **** up and exagerate if you have to. "OMG buddy youll never guess what happened, my gma is gettin clumsy in her old age, so when she reached across the table for a roll, before the turkey was even ready, her blouse draped into the candal and CAUGHT ON FIRE!!! My brother went to douse it with water but we only had little fancy glasses on the table, it didnt do anything. So my poor gma went running thru the house to the bathroom to dunk her hand in the sink!!! Dont worry she was ok... her blouse, thats another story"

STEP 2) - Be a changed man, you will go 4 days w/o seing her, you might as well come back with some balls. Dont try and stop her in the hall, but get to class right after she does [maybe stand talking to friends outside till u c her coming] and walk in, sit down next to her, and say "hey <hername> whats up?" She will probably be boring and say nothing u? Just say "recoving from thanksgiving!" dont even ask her how she spent hers, just rail off your story... THEN ask her about hers. That is a 3-4 minute convo and it will take you as far as you need to go.

STEP 3) - In class dont oodle her. Do you work. If you think of something fun to say... lean to her and say it. Raise your hand and give an answer in class. Believe it or not, if you do well in class [but you dont act like a ****in nerd] girls take notice.

STEP 4) - Start talking to her immediatly as class is dismissed. About anything. If you walk the same way as her, walk WITH her. When you part ways, say that you will TALK TO HER LATER as your salutations.

STEP 5) - Whenever you see her in the hall, even when you dont have definate eyecontact, say "Hey <hername>!" loud enough to be heard over the clammor of changing classes.

STEP 6) - You dont have to sit next to her in class, but make sure and just talk to her a little bit once in a while before or after class. GO SIT WITH HER IN LUNCH FOR A FEW MINUTES. Be walking by to talk to some friends and just notice her "oh hey hername - whats up?" joke about crappy HS food. Introduce yourself to her friends, ask which one is the 'troublemaker' of the group with a grin. If the conversation stays fun for more than 10 minutes then b like "Well Ive gotta go get something to eat, I am staaarving... but we should definatly hang out sometime! Lets exchange #s" If the convo gets in a lul before 10 minutes, dont worry about it, just work thru it, talk to her friends a little bit. If your having trouble, leave and dont close. Go back the next day, approach and close, no matter what.

STEP 7) - Call and chit chat for 10 minutes. Start to say how neat <movietitle> looks, and that your excited about seing it this weekend. Tell her "Hey <hername>, you should come... itll be fun, i promise!" Ask her what day would be best for her this weekend. Be decisive, set a time. Chit chat about the movie a little more - I hear its sooo funny [or whatever] then say goodbye, and that you will see her there.

BY THE WAY - you should MEET her at the theatre. Dont have your ****ing mom drive her, thats just akward unless your rents are REALLY chill and good @ talkin to your girlfriends.

 

[Supero Masculus]

I agree with tony mostly on all of those but #7. Movies aren't the best place to bring a chick. Not at all. When you ask her to go with you to a movie, it comunicates to her, "hey im not confident enough to think you would hang out with me so i will throw in another deal on top." the deal on top being the movie. Then when at the movie, the attention is directed to the actuall show, and then it can get akward fast. Not to say that it isn't a good place to go with a chick, it's just not the best. Especially for the first date. I would suggest doing something more casual and more focused on you and her. for example, Mini golf. It is fun, it is good for kino and it is focused on you and her, not on a screen.

That's my 2 cents.

And if you decide to go to a movie, make sure that the story sets the right mood.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

I agree with tony mostly on all of those but #7. Movies aren't the best place to bring a chick. Not at all. When you ask her to go with you to a movie, it comunicates to her, "hey im not confident enough to think you would hang out with me so i will throw in another deal on top." the deal on top being the movie. Then when at the movie, the attention is directed to the actuall show, and then it can get akward fast. Not to say that it isn't a good place to go with a chick, it's just not the best. Especially for the first date. I would suggest doing something more casual and more focused on you and her. for example, Mini golf. It is fun, it is good for kino and it is focused on you and her, not on a screen.

Oh I wouldnt take a girl to a movie in a million years. But the poster couldnt close on a girl who was randomly holding eyecontact and saying hi to him for a few WEEKS. Mini golf requires a lot of effort. Not to mention, as freshmen in high school there ARENT many expectations for conversation, connection, balblablal. Just being OUT with someone qualifies you as their main squeeze. This is prolly the posters first date... why make it difficult?

Ur 2cents is very correct, but just not the best advice for this situation.

 

[Smoothaswetsoap]

Go bowling. It's fun/casual/cheap and you can tease her or show off your skills. Also, time flies by so you don't have to worry about filling time... : )

 

[Supero Masculus]

Oh, i didn't read that he was a freshman. Funny though, im a freshman as well...

 

[jcb1772]

Re: Holidays are a seduction gift from god!

AWESOME advice Tony, et al...a few things I feel a little uncomfortable doing/disagree with though...

STEP 2) - Be a changed man, you will go 4 days w/o seing her, you might as well come back with some balls. Dont try and stop her in the hall,

Coming back with balls alright, but no stopping her in the halls? I see her outside of class several times a day, I'd rather stop and have a quick friendly convo rather than do what I normally did...that is, not say anything and walk by awkwardly. I mean, if I gotta chance, might as well take it rather than put it off until I have class with her IMO.

She will probably be boring and say nothing u? Just say "recoving from thanksgiving!" dont even ask her how she spent hers, just rail off your story... THEN ask her about hers. That is a 3-4 minute convo and it will take you as far as you need to go.

Dunno about this. I don't want to ramble and ramble about myself without asking her a question (besides "whats up")...I mean yeah, I'll say stuff about what I did, but isn't carrying it for several mins a bit much? I was going to ask her what she did over thanksgiving, let her respond and talk about HER time first. If she just says "not much, what about you", THEN I go off with a funny story.

Am I off base on these points?


Otherwise I like what you said and really appreciate the long post. Btw, yeah this is the first time I'm trying to get a girl. Lucky I found this board now while I still have plenty of years ahead to become a DJ.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

-The reason you dont stop her in the hall is because that is a COLD approach. Talking to her in class is a SITUATIONAL approach. In the hall, you have to give her a really good reason to stop, your intentions are obvious, her mind might be busy, ect. You go up to her before class and you are free of most of those problems. Do you see her in class regularly?

-The reason you talk first is because it prevents the convo from going sour due to her lack of comfort. In any approach you let out YOUR material first, so that they can become at ease with you and then lay out THEIR material.

Think about it, you meet some random girl in line at the food court and she asks you about your parents. Thats kinda weird so you just say their first names.

You meet some random girl in line at the food court and she just starts in telling you a funny story about her parents. She asks you about your parents, you say you can relate to her story and offer one of your own.

Your target will offer as much information as she feels comfortable. So just walking up and asking questions does not work. Ever. You gotta prefice it with small talk or your own stories so she'll open up with some of hers.

 

[rappermas]

Despite that you've pointed out that you don't have balls, expect to be flamed for it. I mean come on, we both know that if don't grow some balls pretty soon, this girl will only be a distant memory.

It's never too late to talk to a girl. Just because you haven't ridden your bike in a few months does it mean that you can't ride anymore? Quite the contrary. She wants you to approach, based on what you said here.

I'm getting the impression that you have no idea what to say to this girl. Here's some good advice. Comment on what she's wearing. Go up to her and say "Your shirt is pink", or something like that. She probably won't be expecting this so the answer will be very neutral. Then say "damn girl, you don't have to dress so nice just to impress me, you know." Then let the conversation flow from there.

Asking her about school and how her thanksgiving was will only put you into LJBF zone, trust me, I'm in that zone with many girls because i made this very mistake. Talk to her about what you want to hear.

My biggest piece of advice to you is this: you have one-itis and you need to get rid of it. Why are you obsessing over this ONE girl so badly? You're coming off as needy and insecure, not fulfilled and confident. GFTOW. You can't spend your whole life obsessing over ONE girl. Come on, get real, you're probably gonna get rid of her as soon as you **** her a few times, aren't you?

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Lets just be friends zone has almost nothing to do with topics of conversation. Your in it because your bad with women - "you dont gotta dress up to impress me" LOL. HAHAHAHAHAHA. OMFG AHHHHHHHH thats the stupidest thing ive read here in a while.