Is this a s*** test or a red flag?

[AllDay85]

I have been seeing this particular plate for about two months now. By seeing, I mean once a week we go out on a date (hockey games, comedy club, dinners, movies, clubs, etc). We started having sex after the third date, and at the fourth date she started hitting me with questions like "are you seeing other women." For the most part, I have maintained frame and a good sense of mystery. I've passed the usual **** tests. She's definitely interested.

I'm 30 and in great shape, look 25 and have a middle class income. She's 23 and a HB 8 with good aspirations. She's allowed herself to be dominated physically and I've picked and controlled almost all the dates. The sex is good and she is enthusiastic.

And now comes (possibly) the biggest **** test yet, at the moment i truly felt this woman was ready to beg me for monogamy. I'm traveling right now, and she just went on social media tagging herself with this guy hanging on him at the club. She doesn't do that much so it seems really telegraphed. Keep in mind that I'm at a point in life where I'm bothered less and less about competition with other males. I would never let her manipulate me with jealousy, a mindstate gained from spinning multiple plates.

My question to my fellow Don Juans is this: Is this anther **** test I'm supposed to navigate? Is she testing my alpha cool, or is this women genuinely not interested? Was looking forward to partying at South Beach with her, as she was my top prospect, but now considering another plate.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Bro, I know what the experienced guys will say.

Do not let this bother you or affect your frame. You have to come off like u never seen these photos and if and ONLY if she brings them up, just keep it casual. I've done something like "that guy looks familiar. Hmm just can't think of where." And kept the convo flowing. I also do not recommend leading the convo to the direction of that discussion either...so please man, no "so where was you partying at this weekend?" Your traveling and doing your own thing, F what she's doing! She's going to try to force the convo in that direction...stay aloof and bored. Act like you lost something and are trying to find it within that conversation. If it's over phone, act like someone in the room is bothering you with questions.

Imo for a chick to be into a guy and then tag a guy, yes...she knows there's potential of you looking and seeing/hoping if you'll bring it up in discussion.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women seldom do things by accident. Flush from your mind and pretend you never saw the picture. So what, she might be fvcking another dude, go get other girls. If she brings it up, just tell her you only care about what she does when she is with you, what she does on her own time is no business of yours.

This is not a sh!t test. This is a power play. She is trying to use jealousy to exert control over you. This happens to me frequently, and I don't want to give you bad news, but it is usually a sign that you're about to get dumped, unless you are ready to commit to a relationship... she is about to bring up the "what are we" conversation... if you are okay with monogamy with this girl, then you should go ahead and negotiate what this 'relationship' is going to look like, and agree or you will lose her. I usually don't care and just go get other girls, but I know there are guys out there that like exclusivity... it's just not me. Tried monogamy when I was married, not going back to THAT.

Look, she is going to feel a lot more comfortable if she thinks she has some control, but it sounds like she is falling for you, so it won't matter. But if you play into this, her attraction for you will drop. Maintain your frame, you are the prize... you have no competition... you're doing great. There really is nothing you can do except to be your awesome self. My only advice would be to go after other girls... but that's up to you, the fact that you are wondering about her indicates she is already too much on your mind.

 

[AllDay85]

Thanks guys for the solid advice. I am the prize, and I lost sight of that for a second.

Although I wish my prior successes were a perfect shield against it, oneinitis is a fire that can never truly be extinguished.

 

[fastlife]

Just a **** test. If they had actually hooked up he never would've ended up on her social media. But she is insecure and trying to get your attention--the equivalent of a guy taking pictures with rando club sluts to 'show how well he's doing after a breakup.'

The key is to not positively reinforce this behavior--or else she'll know that jealousy plot lines are an effective way to get your attention and control your behavior, which can and will be used against you in the future. Just proceed like nothing happened or disregard (your choice).

But I think the reason you're running into this issue in the first place is that you started out from the boyfriend pathway--elaborate dates, waiting so long to sleep with her, etc.--and now you're pulling a lane change to fb/plate status. The faster you sleep with girls the longer you'll have before she starts pushing for or expecting commitment--and it'll be more from the frame of her trying to convince you by proving her value to you (supplication) instead of negative behavior and emotional pressure to realign your behavior to the expectations you initially laid out.

 

[El Payaso]

If she's a "plate" then her hanging out with other guys should not bother you.

From the looks of it, it seems you are catching the "feelz" and considering wifing her up.

Other wise, I don't see why you would be on her social media worried about what she's doing with other guys.

Be honest with yourself and act appropriately.

 

[NSX-R]

You said it yourself. You are the price , let her fight to have you. She has high value in you because as you said she lets you lead her.

It's a shyt test , don't fall into it and don't mention it . If you start complaining means that she's exclusive to you and you to her. As long as you see her as a plate don't evolve emotions into it.

 

[AllDay85]

gigantic red flag...at the club with another guy without you

We're not in a monogomous relationship together, so this isn't necessarily true.

 

[AllDay85]

If she's a "plate" then her hanging out with other guys should not bother you.

From the looks of it, it seems you are catching the "feelz" and considering wifing her up.

Other wise, I don't see why you would be on her social media worried about what she's doing with other guys.

Be honest with yourself and act appropriately.

I asked if this was a **** test or a denouncement of interest, nothing more mate.

While onenitis is always lurking in the periphery, I really am spinning plates.

She showed up in my news feed, I wasn't seeking out her page.

I agree with you though, there is cause for concern. Thanks for your input.

 

[parkthebus]

If you're not commited there is a possibility its a **** test but if shes tagging him she obviously knows him from her social circle so its not necessarily a hook up. Isnt a red flag because she's just with a guy she knows in a club. Even if she ****ed him, shes single and can do that. Nothing wrong with that because right now she's your plate and youre hers.

 

[beforeimgone]

I have been seeing this particular plate for about two months now. By seeing, I mean once a week we go out on a date (hockey games, comedy club, dinners, movies, clubs, etc). We started having sex after the third date, and at the fourth date she started hitting me with questions like "are you seeing other women." For the most part, I have maintained frame and a good sense of mystery. I've passed the usual **** tests. She's definitely interested.

I'm 30 and in great shape, look 25 and have a middle class income. She's 23 and a HB 8 with good aspirations. She's allowed herself to be dominated physically and I've picked and controlled almost all the dates. The sex is good and she is enthusiastic.

And now comes (possibly) the biggest **** test yet, at the moment i truly felt this woman was ready to beg me for monogamy. I'm traveling right now, and she just went on social media tagging herself with this guy hanging on him at the club. She doesn't do that much so it seems really telegraphed. Keep in mind that I'm at a point in life where I'm bothered less and less about competition with other males. I would never let her manipulate me with jealousy, a mindstate gained from spinning multiple plates.

My question to my fellow Don Juans is this: Is this anther **** test I'm supposed to navigate? Is she testing my alpha cool, or is this women genuinely not interested? Was looking forward to partying at South Beach with her, as she was my top prospect, but now considering another plate.

Definitely a chance for you to reassert yourself.

Let her know that s**** like that isn't going to fly. Tell her to take it down. She'll respond with something other than ok to which you reply "enough talking. take it down." Every response afterwards will be "take it down" until she does it.

Don't forget to thank her and butter her up a little after she does it, mate!

 

[Floydispink01]

The pic is not worth even mentioning to her.

Just brush it off and carry on as normal when you next see her. You will lower yourself if you bring it up.

You are traveling on hols having fun - that should be your priority at present. Not some silly pic on social media.

 

[AllDay85]

By that same logic why would you even ask if it was a s*** test? Because you assume that there was something more going on. If you honestly believed she was free to go around and f*** anyone she wants and furthermore expected her to do so you would not have made this thread. The difference between me and the other posters here is that I agree with your expectation of her good behavior.

She led you to believe she wanted monogamy and all the while is doing this. Unless you flat out told her no exclusivity its a red flag.

I agree with a lot of what you said. In the past I've successfully not given a **** about this kind of behavior to great success. Latent oneitis is always a battle. I'll continue to spin plates. But are you suggesting i drop her all together? Because of this?

 

[AllDay85]

Definitely a chance for you to reassert yourself.

Let her know that s**** like that isn't going to fly. Tell her to take it down. She'll respond with something other than ok to which you reply "enough talking. take it down." Every response afterwards will be "take it down" until she does it.

Don't forget to thank her and butter her up a little after she does it, mate!

If we were exclusive, maybe. Otherwise why go through all the trouble when I'm spinning other plates?

 

[beforeimgone]

If we were exclusive, maybe. Otherwise why go through all the trouble when I'm spinning other plates?

Because even though you are spinning other plates, it helps you in the long run to keep her in line

 

[FCB]

Definitely a chance for you to reassert yourself.

Let her know that s**** like that isn't going to fly. Tell her to take it down. She'll respond with something other than ok to which you reply "enough talking. take it down." Every response afterwards will be "take it down" until she does it.

Don't forget to thank her and butter her up a little after she does it, mate!

This sounds like the worst possible course of action. Sure it might work some of the time, but its going to backfire a ton. If you are in a relationship I think its fine, but even then I'd be downgrading the girl at that point anyways. This is the ultimate **** test, don't get all bent out of shape and controlling, just let it roll off your back and it will drive her crazy.

 

[Juan Rabo]

agree with the majority of this thread. she's testing you. her posting this picture is no accident. she knows you are traveling, and her competition anxiety is probably driving her nuts. she's probably imagining all the women you are hooking up with while you are traveling.

pretend like you never saw the picture and pick up right where you left off with her when you come back. she will probably drop the "what are we/where is this going?" conversation pretty soon and it's up to you to navigate this according to how much you like the girl and if you think she is worth a monogamous relationship. good luck brother.