"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Is this a rebound or a BPD/Narc?

Quick_Isk

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 7, 2017
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Its not easy to stay detached in these cases. Normally I do not get attached, but with this one the constant texting, messages declaring interest, compliments etc its easy to get sucked in. To be honest it is the first time I encounter such a woman and was not prepared for the sudden change in interest level. Where there red flags? Yes! Am I guilty of getting attached a bit early? Yes! But it is hard to remain detached with such women. Whoever has experienced it knows.

Adding to that the story of being heartbroken by the ex, pretending to be shy, polite, and considerate...and then suddenly boom, the mask falls off. It is as like the person you have met never existed and is replaced by someone else that you have trouble identifying. The cognitive dissonance is so huge it is difficult to accept that a person that was so attentive, seemed to be thinking about you 24/7 has suddenly devalued you in a blink of an eye.

There were also some things said by her, like that she hates games in relationships, that kinda make me put my guard down a bit. Plus the "I am falling for you" and "you are so amazing" etc etc. It is so much more than just a fling or a breakup, even if it doesnt last very long. She seemed to be obsessed with me on every level, from my body, the sex, my achievements, humor, it was hard to believe she would flake like that. I am at an age where I dont like playing games or acting the dude. I did it in the past and I have grown tired of such BS. You cant go around all your life totally detached and only thinking about tapping some ass. After all we are human, the problem is getting involved with the wrong type of people.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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