Is She Spinning Plates?

[CaConfused]

Hey Guys, let me list a bunch of facts for you - I'm not sure how to proceed.

- Met girl on OK Cupid
- First date, drinks, we make out
- Second date, dinner, we make out all over. She flinches when I try to escalate more.
- Third date, day date at2pm - park, hiking, make out, she massages me. But at 7pm she says she has errands, etc, and has to get home.

Who has to get home by 7pm on a Sunday? I'm guessing she's spinning plates. I want to escalate

I haven't texted her since. What should be my next move? I was thinking of NC for awhile. Thoughts?

 

[CaConfused]

What do you recommend?

 

[ARrocket]

Who cares if she's spinning plates or not? It's not in your control.

What I suggest is that you stop meeting up with her for "dates" and to instead invite her over to cook dinner and watch a movie. Tell her to bring the wine

 

[LorenzoVonM]

Who cares if she's spinning plates or not? It's not in your control.

What I suggest is that you stop meeting up with her for "dates" and to instead invite her over to cook dinner and watch a movie. Tell her to bring the wine

This. You spin plates and you won't give a shvt if she is or isn't. It is a waste of mental energy.

Yes. No more dates. Set up logistics so you can isolate her and escalate to sex.

 

[pinkfl]

She's spinning plates by virtue of being on OKC.

This.
You have to assume that until you are exclusive in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship she is likely dating other people, especially if she is on an online dating site.

 

[nismo-4]

I want to rule she doesn't see you in a sexual light. Or she just doesn't get wet for you.

All women spin plates. Always. Extra points if she's into online dating. Drop her ass since she didn't put out on date 3. Either that or sexually escalate.

 

[CaConfused]

This. You spin plates and you won't give a shvt if she is or isn't. It is a waste of mental energy.

Yes. No more dates. Set up logistics so you can isolate her and escalate to sex.

I've gotten her back to my place twice. We made out several times. Tried escalating. She resisted that. She also offered me a back massage at the river we went to. Which made me think things were on track.

Asked her out for Friday to try once more. Turns out she's out of town (I know it's true).. but she didn't offer an alternative

 

[LorenzoVonM]

I've gotten her back to my place twice. We made out several times. Tried escalating. She resisted that. She also offered me a back massage at the river we went to. Which made me think things were on track.

Asked her out for Friday to try once more. Turns out she's out of town (I know it's true).. but she didn't offer an alternative

Ok, so subconsciously she sees you as a man because you are isolating her and escalating. That is good. She is going out with you and making out so it would seem she is somewhat attracted. Again good. Some girls take a little longer than others.

My advice is to let things breathe, don't contact her the minute she gets back into town. You're a busy guy right? And you probably met a bunch of girls that want to go out with you over the weekend? If you do finally decide to text her then give her two nights you will be free. Come over to your house for some dinner, bring wine. You don't really have to ask her. Assume she wants to already. If she balks with no counter-offer, go ghost.

When she comes over and you start escalating, if she puts up any resistance, you're totally cool with it. Pull back and take away attention. Don't keep pushing forward. Its like a little dance which you have to be in control of. Then go back in and try to push it a bit further. If she's only down for kissing again then the choice is yours. Myself, if I don't get further then kissing after the second meet then I'm gone. Sometimes they will start to chase because the realize they fvcked up. Other times not, but who cares, way too much energy. These things should be easy.