"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Is it over for me?

jlee

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So theres this chick I've been seeing for awhile. Everytime I see her I would always make out with her. I would pick her up and toss her on my bed and just make out. This week though is a different story. I tried picking her up and doing what I always do and then she says no and resisted. So I said fine and let her go. So I grab her instead and hug her from behind like always, she told me to let go, I didn't and she tried to move my arms away, then she said it was no fun, so I let go. But before I always did this and she wouldn't say anything, I would kiss her from behind before. I'm not sure what the deal is..

She was in a hurry to leave my place and left fast. I tried giving her a kiss good bye like always but this time she moved her mouth away and said no kissing. Kinda shock me there, so I just kiss her forehead instead. I haven't had the exclusive talk with her. Maybe I should? I just text her afterwards and told her sorry for messing around earlier.

The week before she made out with me and things seem well. The only thing different this week, she went out with some old friends to a party for Halloween, I ask if I could meet her afterwards and she said she was going to the bar with them and it would be too late. You think she met a new guy? Maybe she found someone else.. I thought things were going well with me and this girl and let my guard down. She knows a lot bout me. I care about this girl. Should I give her the exclusive chat talk and ask if she's seeing anyone else? Confused.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Monkey

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Never pursue whats running away from you.

The 'exclusive' talk has NOTHING to do with it at all, shes simply lost interest for one reason or another. Let her go.
 

NickSCFC2000

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Yep let her go mate, who knows she might get jealous of you not giving a **** about her and start chasing you again.

I said MIGHT.
 

jlee

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So i call her up today after work. I ask her why i was feeling a weird vibe from her. I asked if there was something wrong? I then ask if she was unhappy about something? She said no, everything is fine, nothing is wrong. So i said "am I imagining this weird vibe between us yesterday?" She said you might've just imagined it. But I continue to question her, instead of stopping because I knew something was wrong. So I said well I just felt this really weird vibe between us yesterday. I wasn't sure if something was wrong or if your unhappy about something.

She then busted out, I see us as friends only and don't want to kiss, touch or make out with you.. I really like hanging out with you though... Maybe thats why you felt such a weird vibe.. Ouch painful indeed. Kinda caught me off guard. Awkward moment of silence and I told her i had to go and hung up. Maybe I shouldnt' have kept asking her about it but I needed to know why. Somewhere along the line I mess up.. Got to comfortable with her maybe..

I finally got the answer out of her... and it really hurts.. I'm not sure what to say or what to do now..Did she really find someone else, should i even ask her about it? Or it doesn't matter and I should just let go.. Should I even be her friend? My mind is in absolute turmoil because I've been seeing her for 6 months. I guess i'm not sure how to deal with this at the moment.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Alphamale1821

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Dude you had her alone at your place, you should have escalted to sex b/c thats what she wanted, yet you waited a week and now she is losing interest. Women like dominance and if knows she will have sex with you, but you don't take full charge of the situation then afterwards she can lose interest. Chalk it up as a lesson learned. When you have a women alone always try to set the mood right so you can possibly escalate to sex. Hell you had her alone and you were making out with her, why the hell did you hesitate to escalate sex.

If not that it could be bad breath or a bad smell. Thier is this one chick that likes me,but i don't like her so much because her breath smells and she smells sometimes. It's just a complete turn off kissing a girl who smells or has bad breath.
 

jlee

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I don't have bad breath. I make sure my breath smells good when I make out.
 

aliasguy

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It is over for you.

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surfdog

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man dont worry about it..act like you don't care..and that it's her loss dumping u...get on with ur life and find another girl.
if you still want her don't show it but rather act like you've already moved on and make sure she knows about it when you hook up with another girl..it'll fire her up ;)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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yeadude

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yea dude, its over. Last time i posted on here was about the same thing that happend to you, think it was 05. She gave you ONE chance to escalate but you didnt follow through, there is NO 2nd TIME.You became predictable at just having her over and making out, sooner or later you need to escalate it until she says NO. You might have thought to yourself that by making out you are getting some where but that is not the case.You got too comfortable, you said it yourself, and i think that what got her bored with you. She liked you at some point, enough to make out with you but i bet you took it for granted and felt that you already got her so why try anymore. I'm assuming this was an open relationship, if so, don't do the exclusive chat or other relationship chat. It won't help you and its akward and brutal lol. Just see it as a fling and move on (Anything here sounds familiar? lol)

On the plus side, its a good experience to have and learn from it. Had a relationship started because of this . You never know who will come out of the woodwork : ).
 

dav22

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If you'd have left it like the other guys said and shown her you don't give a **** you might not have had to have that talk.

jlee said:
So i call her up today after work. I ask her why i was feeling a weird vibe from her. I asked if there was something wrong? I then ask if she was unhappy about something? She said no, everything is fine, nothing is wrong. So i said "am I imagining this weird vibe between us yesterday?" She said you might've just imagined it. But I continue to question her, instead of stopping because I knew something was wrong. So I said well I just felt this really weird vibe between us yesterday. I wasn't sure if something was wrong or if your unhappy about something.

She then busted out, I see us as friends only and don't want to kiss, touch or make out with you.. I really like hanging out with you though... Maybe thats why you felt such a weird vibe.. Ouch painful indeed. Kinda caught me off guard. Awkward moment of silence and I told her i had to go and hung up. Maybe I shouldnt' have kept asking her about it but I needed to know why. Somewhere along the line I mess up.. Got to comfortable with her maybe..

I finally got the answer out of her... and it really hurts.. I'm not sure what to say or what to do now..Did she really find someone else, should i even ask her about it? Or it doesn't matter and I should just let go.. Should I even be her friend? My mind is in absolute turmoil because I've been seeing her for 6 months. I guess i'm not sure how to deal with this at the moment.
 

Tenzen

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Damn thats about the same crap i was going through as well, but i did try to escalate! WTF? Except i never got the lets just be friends speech and i never asked her at all about it... Maybe thats whats keeping me hanging by a thread with this 1 girl.
 

Tenzen

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damn, i read your earlier posts yeadude. Its all too similar with the situation i'm in. How did u start a relationship out of one of these?
 

KontrollerX

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Its not necessarily over for you but what you need to do is this painful as it may be...

1. If she contacts you again to hang out as "friends" you say thanks but I have enough friends and leave it at that.

2. Spin more plates.

If she comes around she comes around and if she doesn't no loss as you'd rather be making out with her than being her girlfriend listening to stories from her about guys doing to her what you'd like to be doing.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Being_the_Don

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Alphamale1821 said:
you should have escalted to sex b/c thats what she wanted, yet you waited a week and now she is losing interest. .

You didn't read the OP. He's been with her for 6 months.
 

Being_the_Don

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jlee said:
So theres this chick I've been seeing for awhile. Everytime I see her I would always make out with her. I would pick her up and toss her on my bed and just make out. This week though is a different story. I tried picking her up and doing what I always do and then she says no and resisted. So I said fine and let her go. So I grab her instead and hug her from behind like always, she told me to let go, I didn't and she tried to move my arms away, then she said it was no fun, so I let go. But before I always did this and she wouldn't say anything, I would kiss her from behind before. I'm not sure what the deal is..

She was in a hurry to leave my place and left fast. I tried giving her a kiss good bye like always but this time she moved her mouth away and said no kissing. Kinda shock me there, so I just kiss her forehead instead. I haven't had the exclusive talk with her. Maybe I should? I just text her afterwards and told her sorry for messing around earlier.

The week before she made out with me and things seem well. The only thing different this week, she went out with some old friends to a party for Halloween, I ask if I could meet her afterwards and she said she was going to the bar with them and it would be too late. You think she met a new guy? Maybe she found someone else.. I thought things were going well with me and this girl and let my guard down. She knows a lot bout me. I care about this girl. Should I give her the exclusive chat talk and ask if she's seeing anyone else? Confused.

You posted about this girl in another thread. It was already over before the Halloween party. It's not what you want to hear but it's the truth. You've been with her for a while so it's gonna hurt but you've got to pull back from her. It won't be easy b/c you've invested feelings in the relationship but you've got to do it. For whatever reason she lost interest in you. You might be able to generate it again if she sees you with other women. But if you are into another woman down the line and that woman is seriously into you IF your ex comes back and tries to win you back, it shouldn't phase you. By that I mean, if you're into a woman who is seriously into you then YOU won't want YOUR ex back. Gradually work your way into talking to other women again. Live your life and be happy without her.
 

yeadude

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Tenzen said:
damn, i read your earlier posts yeadude. Its all too similar with the situation i'm in. How did u start a relationship out of one of these?
Haha, well the girl i was having a fling with was pretty hot and i guess the hotter the girl the more jealous other girls get. One of my friends at school, well more of an acquaintance, started talking to me. Thaught nothing of it until we had lunch and got to talking about relationship. She said " So i see you finally have a hot girlfriend", at this point i knew she was intrested because 1) it was an open relationship 2) she doesn't hang out with most of my friends so it tells me she just been seeing me around the campus with the other girl and assumed it. And all this time i thaught she was taken haha
 
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