"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is a kiss on the first date MANDATORY?

otr4

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Tonight, I went out with this girl I met on the internet.
(YOU CAN MEET AMAZING WOMEN ON THE INTERNET).
She is younger (18, almost 19) and I'm 24. She is very attractive--very thin and model looking (she actually wants to be a clothing designer). Beautiful girl and cool personality.
We hung out for a little while, talking and laughing over coffee, getting to know each other and went on a brief walk. She also took me back to her apartment where she shows me some of her art work.
At the end of our time, while finishing a cig, I say I have to go. She tells me to call her anytime and that I should come to a party she's throwing the day after tommorow--it sounds like she wants to see me again for sure.
We hug.
NO KISS.
I usually try to go for a kiss at the end of a first date, but I just didn't do it this time.
What is your guy's opinion on the "first date kiss?"
Is it mandatory? Do you guys think it always has to happen on the first date? What is your guys experience with this? Have you not kissed a girl on the first date, but usually gone on to have success with the woman?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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-HPNOTIQ-

Master Don Juan
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I'm not going to go into all this scientific detail about the cause/effect of taking this step..doing that move..speed seduction stuff.

IMO - When it comes to a first date..the ONLY thing that is MANDATORY is that YOU had fun, and enjoyed your time on the date. If you did, then she's worth a second date.

Some guys on here will say a kiss close is mandatory, sex is madatory, her paying for the date is mandatory...blah! Women aren't a one dimensional creature who's every thought, step, and desire can be predicted. Some will kiss on the first date, some will f*ck..different cultures, different ages, different upbringings will determine how she will react to you.

Stop the traps, snares, and other crap...all you need to do is guage her interest level. From your post, it sounds pretty high. Don't act sappy, and don't act needy. Don't suplicate and don't be pushy.

Sounds like she's already invited you for a second date at her party. Confirm and go have fun. This is a great way to see how she acts around her friends and to guage her interest in you. An important thing in this party is to find some time there where you can get her ALONE with you. Get her away from her friends and away from people who will gossip. BUT DO THIS DISCRETELY. The best opportunity to make any kind of move is when she doesn't have to worry what her friend's or other people will think or say.
 

BRYCEicl

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Only if...

I think a kiss on the first date is mandatory only if you like the girl and if you want to kiss her. You obviously wanted to kiss this girl, but you didn't because her beauty probably intimidated you. Strive for the best and you will be closer to being the best. You've better kiss her the next time, and when you do don't do it for her, but do it for you. Get out of your comfort zone and jump on in, see what she'll do.
 
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-HPNOTIQ-'s got it absolutely right: the interest level is the most important thing, and there is no "one answer fits-all" solution like that. I would agree that she sounds interested in you, so keep your DJ knowledge handy and go have fun!
 
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