Introduction, hoping for some tips.

[jimbo57]

Hey DJ'ers, I've been floating around these boards for a bit now and I think it's time to change my ways.
I'm 19 and am your typical virgin who has never had any intimate relationship with any woman. For a while, I went through a phase where I would just put a mental/social disorder to my problems and think everything is cool and that is reason enough why I cannot get close to any girls, but enough is enough! Seeing all my friends go on to get all these beautiful girlfriends and move on to bigger and better things has definately got me thinking, and thanks to a good friend of mine who gave me a speech I am now here seeking some help. Without being ****y at all, I would say I'm a pretty good looking person. My sister who is 21 and has very attractive friends, has approached me quite a few times saying she has a certain friend who wants to meet me, and I've turned them all down . I've been bodybuilding for 3 years and im in pretty good shape and play lots of sports, so physically I don't have much going against me...It's all in my head.

But enough speaking about that stuff. I came across this site (thank god, what a good site this is), and was surprised when I realised there are quite a few guys in the same position as myself, I guess it's kind of self centered to think I am the only one in the world with girl problems. I was reading this article http://www.sosuave.com/articles/rejection.htm
and though this was a genius idea on how to approach women. Has anyone tried this approach out who is in the same situation as me, and if so how did you approach women who you have never met beforeÉ Im going to a mall, (Vaughan Mills if anyone here lives in Toronto, Ontario) and was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to approach women in a mall type setting (at this point my keyboard is refusing to work, my question marks appear as an É)

All constructive criticism is gladly welcomed, be harsh if you have to, Im sure I have lots to learn!

 

[djjoe]

hi...

i`ve never tried this approach, but as it says, you won`t die if you try it...

especially if you are physically attractive, it might be much easier to get girls than you think...

I guess it's kind of self centered to think I am the only one in the world with girl problems

i personally got the feeling that you are not having any girl-problems, you are MAKING them...

you can believe me, you are not the only one....
(just think of all the typical overweight ugly guys you have gone to school with... compared with them, you are the prince of the kingdom, you are the alpha male)

so go out, collect numbers, PLAY THE GAME, it`s actually more fun than you might think right now...
you will experience fear, you might get rejected, but you won`t die...

and it`s getting more fun every day you play it and you learn and get better with every girl you talk to, kiss or ****...

but you can`t play the game sitting in front of the computer...

there are a lot of ladies out there who are waiting for a good-looking guy like you...

so what are you waiting for....???

 

[jt4aa]

I've only recently started to throw myself into approaching, but I think I've quickly learnt that before I can game any prospective women out there, I just need to feel easy in my shoes. To that end i'm just trying to make it so that I can talk to anyone I want without a care in the world. When I'm comfortable in that stage, THEN I can move on to experimenting with what works and what doesn't.

Just saying that for me breaking it up into little goals seems to work better. I'd say i'm at the stage now where I can start saying "right today i'm going to get rejected 10 times."

The hardest part so far for me has been getting the ball rolling...

 

[jimbo57]

Thanks for the responses guys, exactly what I needed. The problem with myself is pretty much just engaging in conversation. When I hit the mall up and see a girl I feel I could have a chance with, I just won't know what to say to spark a conversation...I'm probably making this out to be tougher than it is, but its like playing hockey, you aren't going to score a goal the first time you put your skates on right?

 

[Turncoat]

Hey man, I feel ya. A year ago, when I first joined this board, i had low-self-estem, utter confusion running through my head every time I chatted with a girl and was thinking I was gonna die a virgin.

Now, I have incredible self-esteem, can kiss-close within a half-hour and have thankfully lost my virginity. How did I accomplish this so fast? I read every damn post on this board. That helped like hell. But my succes came by 5 rules I implemented:

1) Become a natural, masculine man. Hell, border on being a caveman. Be strong, be willing to walk away and break her balls.

2) ACTION. ACTION. ACTION. Don't know when to kiss her? Isolate and do it NOW. Believe that you are the best motherfcuker she has ever met and she will believe so. Be DIRECT in your actions. Make sure she knows you desire her and knows you have the strengh of character to walk away if you are not satisfied with the way things are going.

3) Border on a dangerous lifestyle. Drive a bike. Stir some controversy. Break the speed limit. Grab her by the neck firmly while kissing her and push her towards the bed (this takes diplomacy to pull off, read 'The Game' by Neil Strauss; a PUA called SIN uses this technique) Show her what a rebel you are.

4) Throw her on a whirlwind of emotion. Piss her off one minute then kiss her the next. Laugh out loud one minute then grab her the next and tell her you want to do things to her no man has ever done.

5) Be scarce and flirt with other girls.

These five are CONGUENT with each other, and congruence doesn't lead her to question you. A girl I kissed within the first half-hour once told me she never accepted a kiss from a man that quick before. Why? Because they where never congruent. They would be calm and collected one minute, seeming shy and distant, and the next minute they'd try to grope her. As for me, she knew I was a jerk (albeit a very charming one) and felt what i did was part of my character, not some ploy to make physical caontact with her, so she accepted my kiss very willingly.

Hope this helps pal! READ ALL OF POOK'S POSTS and the GUNWITCH METHOD. Those will set you off to the right track of the above prinicples.

 

[Aerospace]

Turncoat is right, but let's cut it short.

Confidence. It's all about it. Pretend you're God. You'll soon become one...

 

[jimbo57]

You guys are golden! Turncoat, great advice man, ill work on that stuff. I'm also going to look into those 2 references, thanks again guys.
I'll post my results here after my saturday showdown with the female species...

 

[Turncoat]

You're welcome Jimbo, personal msg me if you got any questions.

It took me a full year to fully comprehend and put this to use (not long). And bro "Knowledge IS power". Every post here has a lesson to be learned from. Just remember:

You are a MAN. Woman seduce YOU. You just escalate things and ket them happen. You WILL walk away if your dignity or integrity is compromised. You are an independent 'cowboy' aware of his masculinity and will NOT APOLOGISE for it to second-rate femininsts. Be the most charming jerk she's ever met.

 

[jimbo57]

Well, Saturday came and went., as did my confidence...
Only 2 words can describe what happened today, "rediculous".
The cold approach is alot harder than it seemed and from now on I am going to work on simply approaching women and asking them for the time or just saying hi. Rome wasn't built in a day, this "Rome" sure won't be either .

edit - Thanks again Turncoat, I probably will have a couple questions for you down the road.

 

[djjoe]

btw, the dj-bootcamp would also be a good place to start...

as it starts with those easy exercises for getting confidence...

all the best,