Interesting Situation (Need Advice)

[takinover12]

Hey guys, so i've been lurking on this forum for quite a while now and am finally ready to ask for some advice on my current situation. It's a bit long but i'll try and keep it short and to the point.

So I met this girl about two years ago in school and we hit things off for awhile. Things were good until I found out that she had been hanging out with another guy during the same time. Being the young immature idiot that I was, I freaked out, got jealous, and we fought alot about it. After about 3 months of talking to the both of us she wound up choosing him over me. Obviously this pissed me off so I wanted nothing to do with her so i cut all ties.

Fast forward to a couple months ago.

We wound up being at the same party (we're in college) and I wound up just saying hello to her. Nothing more. Next day I have a text from her saying Hi which then lead to us talking again. (Later had found out she broken up with the other kid a few months back) Its now been a couple of months, coming up on four but i'm finding myself in the same situation again. I am aware that she is still talking to her ex and me at the same time. I've been cool about it this time around, only mentioning it once and being careful not starting an argument. However im getting the feeling that she is playing games with me just in terms of things even as simple as texting and as much as canceling plans or coming up with excuses on why she can't hang out (yes i'm aware girls do this and play games). For example she will keep denying me to hang out and then all of a sudden will want to hang out but it seems like she wants a certain amount of time between each hangout. I just have this feeling that i'm being treated as the second option which sucks because I really do want the chance with this girl but im at the point of just being annoyed.

With that said, what should I do here guys? All comments are welcome, feel free to honest even if its not what I want to hear because I honestly think im so blinded by the whole thing. Do I keep talking to her and see what happens or do I just end it? NC tatic? what?

Thanks!

Also I forgot to mention, recently when we talked she said that she really enjoys talking to me again (has said that numerous times) and but she doesn't want anything right now. I'm sure most of you will say thats the kicker right there but keep in mind she was in a relationship with the other kid for about a year and is still talking to him.

 

[Gunner26]

Sorry Bro, she ain't interested. It's been 4 months since you reconnected yea? Have you made a move in that time?

She's still talking to the Ex - Not completely over him

She's flaking on you when you ask to hangout - She isn't that interested in seeing you.

She told you that she 'enjoys talking to you' - FRIENDZONE

She doesn't want anything right now - Complete bull****, she's just not interested in anything with you right now. That line is a joke, sorry.

Finally your gut is telling you that she is messing you around. LISTEN to it, it's not normally wrong about these things.

Limit your contact with her, tell her you're unavailable next time she asks to hangout, ignore her texts. Or go completely NC, that would work too. Just note in this case I don't think this will make her 'Want' you, it's for your benefit. I only see this 'relationship' being toxic to you.

Gunner

 

[takinover12]

Sorry Bro, she ain't interested. It's been 4 months since you reconnected yea? Have you made a move in that time?

She's still talking to the Ex - Not completely over him

She's flaking on you when you ask to hangout - She isn't that interested in seeing you.

She told you that she 'enjoys talking to you' - FRIENDZONE

She doesn't want anything right now - Complete bull****, she's just not interested in anything with you right now. That line is a joke, sorry.


Limit your contact with her, tell her you're unavailable next time she asks to hangout, ignore her texts. Or go completely NC, that would work too. Just note in this case I don't think this will make her 'Want' you, it's for your benefit. I only see this 'relationship' being toxic to you.

Finally your gut is telling you that she is messing you around. LISTEN to it, it's not normally wrong about these things.

Gunner

Thanks for the reply gunner,

We've been talking for the 4 months but the first two we were still at school and she wouldn't even hang out (I presume because her ex would have seen?). In the two months we have hung out I have made moves, we've kissed, hooked up, whatever. I just hung out with her last week and we kissed so I wouldn't say friendzone. Also she does a lot of the initiating text wise, its pretty much 50/50. It just seems like a big game to me and i'm not making the right move

 

[TheGambino]

Yes Gunner is right, listen to your gut best advice you can follow up.

Girls like the attention and love it when they have the power. She is toying with you man, the best you can do is MOVE on, spin plates forget about her, we all know the feeling of hope but giving in too her attention won't do you good, that's what an AFC would do. She likes the attention of the both of u, and a real man would never accept that second place.

No contact, be less interested and mess around with other girls, she will find out about it. I was in a similar situation and moving on, forgetting about her and spinning more plates is the best you can do.

Respect yourself before others will respect you

 

[Purefilth]

OP allow me to direct you to the tips thread - "Things women say and what they really mean"

Its sure to be very informative. but Gunner Has got it and TheGambino has you on followup.

You are her friend. End Of.


Sorry Bro.

 

[pinkfl]

She's not interested in you. She appreciates the positive attention that she gets from you but at the end of the day, you're just someone she uses for an ego trip.

Move on. She's never going to be what you want.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

She's not interested in you. She appreciates the positive attention that she gets from you but at the end of the day, you're just someone she uses for an ego trip.

Move on. She's never going to be what you want.

Dam....laying down the law!

Like the other posters said, stop being her emotional tampon. You may be able to flip the switches on this one. It may be as easy as ignoring her phone calls for a few days or canceling on her for once. As long as you're going to be the guy who she can go to with her problems things aren't going to change. Why would she want to screw that up?

Live man....live!

 

[takinover12]

Dam....laying down the law!

Like the other posters said, stop being her emotional tampon. You may be able to flip the switches on this one. It may be as easy as ignoring her phone calls for a few days or canceling on her for once. As long as you're going to be the guy who she can go to with her problems things aren't going to change. Why would she want to screw that up?

Live man....live!

thanks for the little bit of hope. It just sucks because i'm all stuck with the "there's something about her" feeling ever since i met her way back years ago. Wish I just knew how to shake it. But i'll give that a shot, hopefully she'll initiate cause its been a few days with no talking already

 

[TheGambino]

dude, you have oneitis, i know it sucks. move on, spin more plates talk to other girls, forget about her you have no choise otherwise you will get hurt only more, eliminate that 'hope'. and even if uw ant her to initiate the best you can do is move on and forget about her, no contact ignore her. she will think what happened to him, he met another girl? she will fear that she lost u.

and even then you shouldnt turn back to her. a dj never takes second place or accept cheats.