Interest level fluctuating like mad

[TheGameMaster]

Hey fellas - hope you are all well, I haven't been back here in a while.

There's this girl who is giving me the following attraction signs:-

* Consistant, long eye contact.

* Undivided attention when I speak

* Always opts to sit with me when our families are in the same room.

* Leans or points towards me.

* I had to go to her old house to fix something the other day for her mum. Was just her there when I got there, and she stayed around talking to me, putting off what she had to do that day by about half an hour.

* Constantly kinoing me. Be that a slap on the arm, tickling me etc

* Let's me touch her innocently. If I can find a reason to touch her face, she lets me no problem. I was teaching her some self defence and she let me touch her quite freely.

* Gives me compliments. "I think you'll be rich one day."

This all seems so genuine. I've been sure she's into me, then when I'm not with her...

- She'll not text back, pretty much ever. I've started texting her 4/5 times in the last 2 months and she's only replied back and forth once.

- She'll make excuses not to have just me and her alone.

She's the daughter of my mum's friend, and I know her well now. We are friends, but there's always been an air of attraction. I've not been friendzoned - I definitely know when I'm in the friendzone.

Like I said we are quite good friends, but with a sexual tension. Even my mum has come out and said that she thinks this girl likes me. She's actually living with us at the moment. Her and her mum are in the process of moving house and they are living in one of our bedrooms.

IN A NUTSHELL: her interest level is high when I'm with her in terms of the signs she gives, but she won't be alone with me and she never replies to my messages.

Given that her mum and my mum are so close that we're basically family, do you think she'd want to not let anything happen because if it all went wrong, it'd be arkward? We'd see each other quite often, whether we like it or not.

What's your take on this scenario? Do you think I should make more of an effort to isolate and just go for it? The other night, I asked her to come watch TV with me (in my room, on my bed) and she said yeah, went away for 5 mins, and came back say that she's tired and going to bed...to which I AFC'ly just said ok instead of going and grabbing her hand and saying "just 5 mins" or something

Cheers fellaz xx

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

I don't want to minimalize your issue, but there's only one sure-fire way to answer all your questions: Go for it.

I used to sit around analyzing women too. "She holds eye contact. Touches my hand. Smiles." But screw all that stuff...make your move. Whether it's a date, or a make-out session in the park. Do something. The only girls I spend this much time analyzing are ones I've already gotten in bed.

All this time we waste trying to read their minds...screw that. Go for some kino. If she responds well, go for a kiss. If she rejects you, you got your answer. If she accepts, even better. But just remember, history favors the risk-takers. We can't be writing down notes, trying to scientifically analyze each stage of a woman's interest. Don't ask her if she likes you. Don't talk about relationship crap. Just do what feels right.

 

[flint]

Sorry man, but not texting you back and coming up with ways to avoid being alone with her are red lights for no interest. If I were you I'd invest my time on someone else. I mean think about it, if she wanted you why would she avoid being alone with you? Let's put it this way, if she wanted to be alone with you, or she texted you, wouldn't you jump on that? It's no biggy but just invest your time on someone else.

 

[Igetit!]

Hey fellas - hope you are all well, I haven't been back here in a while.

There's this girl who is giving me the following attraction signs:-

* Consistant, long eye contact.

* Undivided attention when I speak

* Always opts to sit with me when our families are in the same room.

* Leans or points towards me.

* I had to go to her old house to fix something the other day for her mum. Was just her there when I got there, and she stayed around talking to me, putting off what she had to do that day by about half an hour.

* Constantly kinoing me. Be that a slap on the arm, tickling me etc

* Let's me touch her innocently. If I can find a reason to touch her face, she lets me no problem. I was teaching her some self defence and she let me touch her quite freely.

* Gives me compliments. "I think you'll be rich one day."

This all seems so genuine.

All these "IOIs" mean NOTHING. Not a single thing.

I've said it before,so I'll say it again....The ONLY IOI I care about is when I ask a girl out,and she says yes.

That's the only one I care about. Everything else can be misinterpeted.

I've been sure she's into me...

I do agree with you that at one time this may have been true,but most likely she's isn't now. You said that you've texted her a couple of times in the last two months. So that means at the minimum,you've know her for two months.

I'm sure you've known her longer than that,but let's just say you met her two months ago.


It doesn't take two month to find out if a girl likes you or not. You should have already known where you stood with her in the first 10 minutes of knowing her.


Mantis Tobaggon is right. All you can do is go for it now,but you should have went for it the instant you knew you wanted to date her.


The instant you show your interest in a girl,you'll know where you stand.


And since you didn't do that,but yet you continued being around her,it's friendzone by default.


All those supposed "iois" are you miinterpeting things.

She's the daughter of my mum's friend, and I know her well now. We are friends, but there's always been an air of attraction. I've not been friendzoned - I definitely know when I'm in the friendzone.

I beg to differ with you here. You say that you're not friendzoned.

Well answer this then....

Have you ever asked her out? Forget about the eye contact,the touching,teasing,her telling you that you'll be rich one day.


Forget about her letting you touch her or sitting next to you when your families are together,forget about all that and just answer this....


Have you asked her out?


If you haven't,then why not? That is what you want,to take her out,right?
So if you haven't asked her out yet,in ALL THIS TIME you've known each other,then why not?

Like I said we are quite good friends, but with a sexual tension. Even my mum has come out and said that she thinks this girl likes me. She's actually living with us at the moment. Her and her mum are in the process of moving house and they are living in one of our bedrooms

.Woah,woah.....wait a minute....she lives with you?


This girl you want to date LIVES at your house???


Uhh...no. Dude,this girl is like a sister. There's NO WAY you can date her,at least not now. Dude,you can't date some chick who lives in the same house as you. That just doesn't work. This girl is a poor choice for you to pursue.


Under normal circumstances,I'd agree with Mantis that you should go for it,but not here. This is bad situation to try to get a girl in. It's too close to home. You need to forget about this girl.

Given that her mum and my mum are so close that we're basically family, do you think she'd want to not let anything happen because if it all went wrong, it'd be arkward? We'd see each other quite often, whether we like it or not.

I 100% agree with you here.

What's your take on this scenario? Do you think I should make more of an effort to isolate and just go for it?

NO.


If you were out on a date with her,this advice would be good,but at you're house? No man,just back off.

There are simply too many opportunities for this thing to run off into the ditch,it's too easy to fail here.


Never mind the friendzone (which I think you're in),you've got one hack of a logistics problem here,which for the forseeable future can't be fixed.


And while you're waiting for her to move out,she'll already be bonding to you in a platonic way. She can't put her emotions on "pause" until her and her mother find a place to stay,it doesn't work like that.


The more you're around her NOT SHOWING YOUR INTEREST,the MORE she'll get used to you being that way.


Sorry man. Dealing with the friendzone is one thing which is tough enough itself,but being friendzoned and living with the girl too???



Nope,you can forget this one dude.